The Chiweenie Prayer

According to the infamous Wikipedia, the web's free and arbitrary encyclopedia, PRAYER is a form of religious practice that seeks to activate a volitional rapport to Dog or spirit through deliberate practice. 

Frankie, the chiweenie, will demonstrate:

 Dog is Great!

 Dog is Good!

 Let us pray . . .

 For falling pieces of yummy food!

Amen!

May lots of human food crumbs and other dog treats fall on this dog's path.

Twinkie

Lack Of Dignity

Dog food is good, 

dog treats are great,

but human food is extra special.

When M feeds us hot dogs . . . what can I say, we all lose a bit of our dignity. It's the spotted senior girl though that embarasses herself the most. Check out the progression of "Das Slobber"

Where is your dignity, ol' lady?

BOL

For the record: She enjoyed 3 whole hot dogs 

(shhh, don't tell her dog vet)

Twinkie

50 Million Dog Treats

We recently posted a 25 million dog treat reward for whoever finds M's earring. The amount has doubled. We are now looking both for M's earring and her right earlobe.

I hope to I locate M's earring and ear so that I can collect all the dog treats!

Twinkie

25 Million Dog Treats

M is offering a  "Five Hundred Dog Treats" reward for information to help authorities crack the case of her lost earring. It's been missing since this photo was taken.

Twinkie

Mango Minster Faux Pas 'N An Announcement

Well, matter of fact, I don't really care what else Mango Minster 2011's contestants get wrong, as long as y'all get my category--Insane Cracker Dogs--right.

Insane Cracker Dog Category Closed 
fermé, geschlossen,
cerrado, chiuso
κλειστό
o-ver

Yup yup, the category I've been honored to judge, has officially closed. I know some of you are not good at math or reading directions, so I thought I'd help spread the news.

Comment on Comments

Aside from bribes, I've been getting tons of brown-nosing. Thank you furry much, BUT I happen to know that we dogs are by definition brown-nosers, therefore, while I'm always happy to humbly receive your praises as to my person and blog, compliments will not be affecting your total score, much, if any.

Now, about funny comments. Those actually do add lots of point to your overall score board.

Allow me to demonstrate:

I'm going to use Eva as an example.

Exhibit A (1st comment):

Oh Mr Twinkie, my honorable, handsomest, sweetest and cleverest judge, this is Eva again, the little girl who is competing with those big name contestants. I just want to tell you that I love your blog very much, it is full of wisdom and wits, it's also the funniest that it always made me fall of my chair. Luckily, I didn't hurt myself whenever I fell onto it. It is carpeted!!! It is my honour to have you as my judge and I'm so glad to know more about you too. I've been trying to catch up with your old posts and I'm still reading and reading. I wish you a very good day and please don't put too much stress on yourself. Some beer and tacos and cheese are in the fridge and they are all reserved for you, my honorable judge!

Eva does a lovely job tail-kissing, but she also spells "honour" in British and only offers tacos and cheese.

Exhibit B (2nd comment on same post):

Oops!!! It's me, Eva again!!! How many comments you would like me to leave you daily?
I can tell my mom to do it. She is really free!!!Anyway, I will make her free so she can do it.

That's what I'm talking about! Eva came back with a sense of humor. She got quite a few brownie points the minute M started making snorting sounds as she spilled her coffee all over our pretty white keyboard which is fast-ly turning beige.

A couple of "MUST SHARE" EXEMPLARY COMMENTS

 Lacie (the Premium Saltine Cracker),

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place has left a new comment on your post "Attention Insane Cracker Dogs":

To the Most Esteemed Honorable Twink, your Honor...

WAIT WAIT AND WAIT...This is Lacie...I grovel to no dog. This is impossible to flatter you with words. So...where does that leave us?

ACTIONS???!!! AH...a far better CAT A GORY for the Lacie. How can Twink be bribed....??

A DATE WITH THE LACIE?????????

Hmm...she twirls a piece of errant fur that has curled down her sweet attractive cheek...I'm thinking I COULD pencil you in for next weekend. NO NO...not this weekend. My calendar is completely full.

Kisses and more,

Lacie, Also a Very Tiny Dog

Oh, boy! For starters, you're not that tiny. Maybe you need to cut back. You can eliminate lots of calories by refraining from biting your momma's neck, for example. More importantly, I'm a WO-man and therefore, I reject your date offer. Even more importantly, I gave my heart to Mango, long ago, and since he rejected me, I've stopped dating altogether.

*

Jazzi left the following comment:

Twink, ole long time buddy and pal!!!

Ok, fur the bribes, just how many Tacos would you like to have sent to YOU?? Would you like the double shell kind with extra toppings?? ANything fur you, your most honorable and fair and wonderful and terrific judge!! Does that score me about 20 bazillion points???

Maybe not a full 20 bazillion, but almost. Tacos are good. Any edibles (including dog treats, especially homemade ones) are okay by me. I'll graciously accept those and throw in a few extra points, mainly because I know how important tacos are to you, and you're still willing to share.

The IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: 

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie have organized a side event to Mango Minster 2011. It's going to be a fun and easy to enter costume contest. Check it out HERE. G2G. Must figure out my entry!

Judge Twink

Teacup Chihuahua Pictures | A Star Is Born

As a blog star and a book protagonist, I get photographed a lot. The pictures I'm about to share today are part of one of my favorite photo sessions. I got to stay all comfy, cuddled up, and warm. I didn't even have to get out of bed.

Hey, wait a sec! 'Scuse me. Do I get any small dog treats after my photo shoot?

What do you mean "we'll see"?

 I know how to make your life difficult, Mr Pupparazzo.

Now, will you promise me bully sticks?

Okay, thanks. I'll be more cooperative now.

 

Hurry up. I'm exhausted. Chop-chop . . .

That's a wrap!

Twinkie

Funny Dog Pictures (continued some more)

OMD I can't believe how much havoc a tiny pup can cause. Pedro is incorrigible. He can't speak yet, but it's obvious from his demeanor, he's belligerent and pigheaded. He still refuses to put on his dog costumes! I've about had it with him. He'd better not interrupt me again.

Back to the contest and the funny dog pictures. Where was I?

Oh, yes, the intoxicated pumpkin got second place.

And then proceeded to make fun of superman, tsk tsk.

The yorkie continued to look adorable.

And the chicken . . .

. . . the chicken got third place.

Once again, my sissy and I didn't place.

I was ready to go home, but the chiweenie was rather distraught even though she got a full bag of dog treats to go!

Tomorrow, I will finally unveil really funny dog pictures. M and I got Pedro to wear his dog costume--well, at least part of it. 

Twinkie

Dalmatian Senior Dog Celebrates Birthday

I was really moved yesterday to find out that it was our beloved Olivia's birthday. Olivia is a brown dalmatian. You may remember her from her entry in the "Show Us Your Tongue" Pet Photo Contest.

Olivia

Olivia is always smiling. She's one of the happiest dogs I have ever met, and there is good reason for it. She has a great life. I have often mentioned her owner, the dog obedience trainer Cyndy Wood, who also does public appearances sharing precious information for all dog lovers. She recently did a seminar on "How To Be A Better Senior Dog Parent," which I attended, since we too own a senior dalmatian mix. 

Olivia turned 14 years old yesterday!!! Quite an achievement for her breed, but what's even more impressive is this brown dalmatian's health. Olivia can't see well, something rather common for any dog her age. Cyndy has and still is taking measures inside her home to make it easier for Olivia to adopt to her reduced vision. Olivia is also a little stiff in the joints, also common, but overall, she's in superb health. There is no question in my mind, that this dalmatian is still enjoying every minute of her life. 

Cyndy has always kept her dalmatians on a great  diet. Her rule of thumb is: checking out the first five ingredients in the dog food and it it's fit for a human to eat, then buy it. Sometimes the "simple rules" are the ones that make the most sense and are easier to follow. Olivia's current health is a testament to that. Cyndy also put her girl on a good dog joint supplement with glucosamine and chondroitin. She's the one who stressed the importance of glucosamine for dogs and recommended the dog supplements that we use on our eleven year old dalmatian mix, and I'm grateful for that too. The positive effects on our dog were visible within days. 

Sure, Olivia does suffer some from dog arthritis, but what dog wouldn't at that age? Overall, this senior dog is healthier than most dogs are at age ten. She is friendly, happy, social and full of energy. Her only problem is that on her birthday "somebody" had the great idea to give her a grooming session. I think she would have preferred extra dog treats or her favorite peanut butter, and I'll be sure to remind Cyndy next year on Olivia's birthday.

The birthday girl

Happy birthday Olivia, 

Twinkie and family

White House Security Breach

Third Couple Meet Obama Without Invitation

Twinkie and Frankie Van Twinkerson, Democrat supporters from California, were ushered into an invitation-only veterans breakfast with Barack and Michelle Obama after mistakenly turning up a day early for a tour of the grounds.

Unlike Tareq and Michaele Salahi, a Virginia couple who gatecrashed a White House dinner, and the Dardens' breach of protocol on Veterans' Day, Twinkie, a teacup chihuahua, and Frankie, a strange looking brindle chiweenie (there are all sorts of "interesting" looking and sounding designer dogs) claim it was not intentional on their part.
The pair said they grew increasingly mystified as they were ushered into the awesome depths of the building, but their concerns were brushed aside by officials. "We only wanted to meet Bo, another rescue dog," Twinkie barked out. "We're huge fans of Bo's blog," Frankie later added.
The White House claimed that the Van Twinkersons had been allowed into the breakfast after going through security screening as a "nice gesture" after they arrived on the wrong day for their tour.
However, the furry couple said there was no evidence that officials or the Secret Service had realized they were not on the guest list.
Ms Twinkie, age 4, a retired advice columnist, said she and her brindle  pack-mate were never told about the breakfast. "We prefer dog food, anyhow," Ms Twinkie insisted.
They believed they were simply starting their tour until they were ushered into the East Room, offered a buffet spread and told they would be meeting the president.
"The further we got into the White House, the more surprised we were," she said. "Frankie looked at me, and I looked at her, and I said, 'You know, I don't know if we're in the right place. But we were both too tiny to push our way out of there"'. When they approached a White House aide to suggest they had veered off course they were told to "just go with the flow".
"I felt kind of funny because I was the only teacup chihuahua in the room that wasn't dressed in a formal gown. I was just a plain tourist, wearing my everyday dog collar."
She said security officials had realized they were not on the list but, while their identity was being checked, they were ushered inside and joined 200 guests for a buffet breakfast. "Needless to say, the food wasn't as good as our homemade dog treats, but it was yummy!"
Another official told Ms Twinkie it was an event for vets, and, after learning Ms Twinkie and Ms Frankie had their own dog vet, he suggested they stayed.
A White House spokesman said it is not unusual for staff to take small dogs who are cleared in for tours to other events if there is space, including Marine One arrivals, East Room events and Rose Garden ceremonies.

White House officials have had to explain how a third couple managed to get inside President Barack Obama's residence for an official event without an invitation.

"They were so cute! They also promised we could enter our dogs in the Furry Tails pet photo contest," was one of the officials' responses.

America's most infamous unwanted guests showed up on NBC's Today Show.

We honesty just wanted to meet Bo and go on a dog hike, the couple insisted.

Ultimately, both Frankie and Twinkie were totally forgiven. They were also given the White House Frequent Visitor Badge

The California belles were beaming as they accepted their badge. "We were invited, not crashers. In any case, we will not be pressing any charges. My sissy and I are so glad everything's finally cleared and we can be good furiends with Bo," said Ms. Twinkie.

T--

Pet Photo Contest A Howling Success

Back to reality, after National Dog Week. Today also marks the first day of voting on our pet photo contest: SHOW US YOUR TONGUE.

VOTING POLLS ARE NOW OPEN!

Click on the tab "Show Us Your Tongue" at the top of my blog

POLLS CLOSE: SUNDAY, OCTOBER 3, 10:00 A.M (PST)

ONLY FIVE VOTES PER PACK/TRIBE/HERD/FAMILY etc. 

The results and the winners will be announced on

Dear Twinkie on Tuesday, October 5th

I can't describe what this contest meant to me. Sure, many of you are aware that it was a lot of work, but work is easy when it's fun. Speaking of FUN, that was the general consensus. I have read that word over and over again, and that and some dog caffeine, kept me going with a big smile under my whiskers.  I got several emails stating that getting the Show Us Your Tongue posts together was a lot of fun! That's like paying me in a million dog treats! I thank you all. 

I have a bit of 'splaining I want to do. One of the participants emailed their pet photos and added, "I hope this brings traffic to your site." This made me stop and think for a moment. These past few days, I've been pushing out of my mind a disturbing thought: I am not posting links to your blogs with this event. Of course, I never said I would, since this was a contest for any pet that wanted to participate, regardless of whether on not they had a blog. I do want to bring traffic to my site, don't we all? I would never, in my teacup chihuahua honor though, try to fool anybody. The proof is through GABE (the Global Animal Blogging Event). All the links are still up, and they will stay up for as long as it's within my power. One more thing. I think most of you know by now that Dear Twinkie, my Tuesday dog advice column "gives" links. I hope this answers evereybody's questions. It is all done in good faith in the animal blog-dom, or so I want to believe.

I thank you again for your entries, encouraging comments, and incredible support! I couldn't have done it without you and your tongues!

Now let's see who the lucky Yöghund winners are going to be . . .

Twinkie

A Good Day In The Life Of Our Rescue Chiweenie

I get criticized frequently about picking on my brindle sister, Frankie, aka The Chiweenie, so today, I want to make amends. I want to share with you inside info about how well taken care of our chiweenie really is. Believe me, this rescue dog hit the jackpot the day she joined our menagerie.

Exhibit A

Chiweenie happily munching on one of her favorite dog treats, a marrow bone.

Exhibit B

Notice the squinty eyes. That is devotion!

Exhibit C

A small lick on an ice cold Slurpee to complete the experience.

Exhibit D

Ladies and Tramps, I believe I may now rest my case.

I swear, we love and take good care of my brindle sissy. The only reason we make fun of her so frequently is . . . well, she asks for it! BOL

Happy Labor Day!

Twinkie

Dog Treat Review (Yay): Yöghund (Slurp)

Yöghund, because it feels good. Yöghund, makes hair grow on your dog's chest. Yöghund, once you start licking it, you can't stop... You have entered the yöghund zone. How do you get out? You don't until the last little bit of your yöghund is consumed.

 Making every yöghund lick count!

The other day, another humid scorcher in Los Angeles, my pack and I did a lot of panting. We lounged, panted, and lounged some more. We were miserable. Our human is not an a/c fan. I, the hypothermic teacup chihuahua, couldn't even use my heating pad, that's how hot it was. My tongue was sticking out, as I waited for the temperature to drop and dreamt of small dog treats. When a friend of M's came by and suggested we all go for yöghund, we didn't know what we were in for. 

We were in for the best dog treat of our lives!

You can tell we loved our dog treats. During our taste test, yöghund got a raving 10 out of 10, but what is yöghund and how safe is it for dogs? It is an organic treat loaded with nutrients. Yöghund is also low on calories so that even those fighting dog obesity can enjoy without guilt. I believe there are three yöghund flavors in the market: Organic Banana and Peanut Butter, Organic Blueberry and Vanilla Bean, Natural Peanut Butter and Papaya, and  Natural Apple and Cheddar. Yöghund is real yogurt. It is produced by the fermentation of organic, low-fat milk containing live bacterial cultures (probiotics), known to aid the digestive and the immune system while helping with nutrient absorption. The Banana and Peanut Butter yöghund recipe contains potassium rich bananas, also a great source of  inulin, along with rich in antioxidants and flavor peanuts. The Blueberry and Vanilla Bean recipe includes all the antioxidants and vitamins found in the vanilla beans and the blueberries. 

Yöghund is a healthy dog treat alternative for the health and fitness conscious.

Yöghund also comes with the TBD Brands guarantee: If you or your dog are not completely satisfied with your order, we will gladly replace your order or refund your money. You can find this on the yöghund website along with a store locator, so you can run out and get your own yöghund! 

I said, get your own yöghund!

Yöghund is to be enjoyed by small dogs and large ones too. It's the perfect summertime treat because it's healthy and delicious. There's only one negative thing I have to say about yöghund: 

It's finished.

Still here? Go get your own yöghund, you can stop by and thank me later.

Twinkie

Chiweenie Steals Dog Treats

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Some dogs never learn. Two days ago, I mentioned dog treat thefts at our barn. Yesterday, I shared with you top secret information about Boomer, the tiny chihuahua, trying to steal them out of a horse trunk. Today, I am obligated to share the fact that Boomer wasn't the only thieving chi at our barn. His brother, Tigger, the chiweenie, has picked up the clepto-skills!

I had an advantageous position from my observation tower . . .

The chiweenie in action!

Between furiends, this is the proper way to enjoy dog treats, there's no other way unfortunately.

Congratulations to the chef.

Something got this chiweenie's attention. Can you guess what?

The brindle chiweenie! Oh, no! Where did she find the courage for such an undertaking?

Okay, now even I, Twinkie the teacup chihuahua, was impressed!

My sissy was fearless.

Heroic brindle chiweenie pursued her heart's desire.

But Tigger had other plans.

I'm relieved my sissy didn't follow him any more. I think that past a certain point, guts, glory, and dog treats can be downright foolish. 

Of course now, somebody has to pick after them.

"Come get your trash, you "designer dogs", you!"

There's never a dull moment at our horse barn. If when we're not fraternizing with goats, eating treats, dog chews, and horse hoof clippings, all of us rescue dogs have a blast!

Twinkie