Dear Twinkie | A Dog Advice Column

A Dog Advice Column

Ina in Alaska asks...

Thank you Miss Twinky Twinkerbelle Dolce Gabana Versace Prada Ferragamo for all of your fabuloso advice.
Do you have a queso fountain at your house or do you eat your squirty cheese sprayed from a can directly into your mouth like we do up here in Alaska (and also in Master-Chew Sits)? Your fans, Toby, Ginger and Jeter.
Halle will have no such nonsense and will only eat fresh French Brie served with a special sterling silver cheese knife, spoiled bratty Jersey Girl that she is....

TVT: A queso fountain! Is that a question or a terrific suggestion? Something like the chocolate fountain they had at your friend's shower! Maybe you should take over this column because you are brilliant! 

As for poor Halle, I realize she's the glamour queen, but evidence says to leave her out of it. It's Jeter and Toby who are living the French Brie life. 

You still don't believe me? 

mayziegal asks...

Hi Twinkie Twink Twink!
A Most Great column today, as always! You have a whole lotta brains in that l'il head, that's for sure!
Okay, my question today is about baths. Do you thinks baths are really truly necessary? So far I've managed to con...um, I mean...convince my mom that my brindle furs will wash away down the drain and I will go into a catatonic state should she ever decide to gives me a bath. Besides I always try to roll in the most fragrant thing I can find so I know I smell GOOD. But I overheard her saying something to my dad about maybe giving it a try. (GULP!) So I just thought I'd ask you what you thought?
Wiggles & Wags,
Mayzie

TVT: Mayzie, you're getting very sleepy. You are traveling backwards in time and you're totally relaxed. Now close your eyes and envision the days when you slept on dirty, hard, cold ground (your words). Now open them!

ta-da 

Feel better about baths now?

BRUTUS asks...

So full of great advice. Proof that wisdome & size are certainly not related! Speaking of which, maybe you can help our dilemma... Flat Brutus is AWOL in Singapore. He was last seen at the Musketeers, and I haven't been able to get in touch with them in a few weeks (hope they are OK). Coco & Sonic- both of whom you posted about today - are each anxiously awaiting his visit.. Any advice on how I can reconnect with our wayward international Flat Brutus?
Thanks for the consideration, oh wise one!
Snorts- Brutus the Frenchie

TVT: Dear ol' furiend, we need a search and rescue party to get Flat Brutus out of this mess. I suggest you drop agility for a short while (those ribbons must be really weighing you down) and start training in SAR. We're going to put an APB out and the animal blogland will join us in our expedition. Don't worry. We'll get your FB out of this prickly situation. 

Mack and Sally Ann ask...

Dear Twinkie,
Your advice is great. I have two questions for you:
What is the best way to get Mommy's attention when she is taking care of your brother?
What is the best way to get your big brother to play with you when he won't?
Sally Ann

TVT: My sweet Sally Ann. I supposed now that your wonderful brother went to the rainbow bridge, these questions don't mean much. Our heart goes out to you and your family and wish you strength. Your brother needed his rest. He's happy where he is and we're grateful he's not suffering any longer. He will NOT be forgotten!

In memory of Lord Duncan McDuff

The Thundering Herd ask...

Every week, we read your column and think we should ask a question. But every week we come up empty. How do you suggest we come up with a question?

TVT: This is a great question!!! There are several options. You could utilize Rusty's mind control. You could drink the Jägermeister you found and see if it holds the answers. Finally, feel free to go meditate under your tree and see if you can come up with any questions. I'll be waiting for woo.

Madi and Mom ask...

Twinkie
Great advice to all...we can see you take your job seriously striving for perfection each day. We love how you love us gives us a warm tingly feeling!!! :-)!!!
Note was made of the fact that you recognized my greatness as a Cat in your comment on my blog yesterday.The grandfather clock wrap was a proud moment in my life. Mom didn't even tell everyone about the time I tore up the wood frame around the door..this incident required new molding....can you say part dog?
Madi and Mom

TVT: Yes, I can. Part dog, part diva! Ole!

Madi the fe-nine

Hank asks...

Uh....Miss (uh) Van Twinkerson (if that IS yer real name)......I gotta question. Is it possible that my sister Molly really IS goin' deaf or is she just ignorin' us? An' if she is goin' deaf, does that mean I haftuh be nicer to her?

TVT: Of course! I understand your suspicion, after all we've all played deaf (I do it all the time, teacup chihuahua virtue), but in your case, we're also talking about peepee pipes, rotting teeth, etc. Listen Hank, I had to consult with M for this one. If your momma is willing to forego her motorcycle, you better be understanding and nice to the old lady, and I mean Molly, not your mom. I am also attaching a photo to refresh your memory and help with setting your priorities straight. I call it pug luv.

Pug Luv

kissa-bull ask...

dearest twinkie twinkerson
you are just so full of the smarticles and we furry much blush at your kind compliments of our pack. we all got wiggley reading your kind words. wise . and bewootiful what more can anyone ask for??
blushing pibbles
the pittie pack

TVT: What more? Oh, my dear furiends. You are so sweet and well mannered, and you always say the kindest things. How about a new home? Isn't that a nice goal? I wanted to publicly congratulate you and tell you not to be sad. Our Mona has a lot to live for. She'll make us all proud and happy in the end. 

Martine asks...

Captain crunch here, Twink:
I'm a little over a year old and already suffer from premature balding.... I just realized I've started to go grey as well!! Can you believe it? I'm a little vain and want to know what I should do... I could ask my mom to pluck the few grey furs or ask her to get me just for men or should I just embrace my new colored furs??? HELP !
Woof,
Caps

TVT: Listen Caps. It's bad enough you're in diapers at the moment, you're worried about your furs? You also have a human peanut invasion to deal with. Oh, well, you could try a treatment shampoo for balding men, but then you'll smell like a human, yuck. You could use a touch up hair color stick, just make sure you match the color to your furs properly. I must tell you, I empathize. But I can't make this decision for you. I can only offer you my advice. Now go rescue the peanut's pacifier. Hurry!

I'm just proving my point

the booker man asks...

grrreat advices as usual, miss twinkie!! so now that you are like super duper famous and everybuddy wants your pawtograph and a photo op with you, do you have a most muscley boy doggie to escort you and make sure you don't get overwhelmed by your fans??
*woof*
the booker man

TVT: I do not as of now, but I have somebody in mind. I was thinking of you, if that's okay. I mean, not only do you look like a force to content with, as demonstrated in the attached photo, you're also going to be in even better shape in no time with your new health regiment. If you're willing to do it, I must know, will you do it for dog treats? 

I would always feel safe with you by my side (chuckle)

Frankie the Chiweenie asks...

Where can I find a chiweenie rescue? I need a retreat. Last night, mommy brought home an english bulldog and I was shocked and scared. I realize that I passed the Caning Good Citizen test, but I'm still young and vulnerable. Can you stop mommy from bringing home scary dogs?

TVT: Blah, blah, blah. You silly chiweenie! I was there! If I could, I would. Okey dokey? And what about our furiends and the homeless pups M brings home? Would you rather we lived a lonely selfish life? Besides, the english bulldog you have in mind is simply a-do-ra-ble!

How can you fear this smiling face?

No comment

3 doxies ask...

Twinkletoes,
You is so very much fotogenic and I am even more impressed that you haves yourvery own foDOGrapher at your side. Now I haves a question: How does I become a chawawa like you?
Puddles

TVT: I'm photogenic thanks to your mom. If you don't get what I'm saying, just ask her. You? A chawawa? What's wrong with being a doxie? The teacup chihuahua life is full of risks. Our life is in danger from common things like shoes and large pray birds. You have it good my friend. You don't even have long furs like your sibblings. You are perfect the way you are. Besides, Urban Dictionary's definition for a chawawa is: A little mexican dog with pointy ears  and beady eyes before spell check was invented. You don't want to be associated with that. 

Proud to be a doxie

Twix asks...

Girlfuriend! You are simply fab! I'm so impressed that you have your own magazine spread right here! Fortunately, none of those photos are centerfolds ;o)
I have a question for you but I also asked it to Dear Star. Is it okay to ask you both the same question and then decide whose answer I like best?
Snuggles,
Twix

TVT: For the record, Dear Star has been around longer than Dear Twinkie, so I must say, if you have to chose, you should probably go with experience. Having said that, I don't think that Star would mind if you asked both of us. Perhaps you can ask her your real questions and ask me your silly ones. I do well with those.  I have an idea for you. Based on the success of your date night, have you considered doing your own dog advice column? It can be a love advice column and you could get Frankie Flirter's professional imput. Think about it. 

But don't over-think it

Now go take on the day!

Twinkie

AKC Canine Good Citizen Tips

Recently, our chiweenie took and passed the Canine Good Citizen test. Since then, many have asked us to break down the test and provide tips.

The CGC is provided by the American Kennel Club Program and it is on a pass/fail basis. Before your dog takes the test, you, the handler, are asked to sigh the Responsible Dog Owner's Pledge:  

I understand that to truly be a Canine Good Citizen, my dog needs a responsible owner. I agree to maintain my dog's health, safety, and quality of life. By participating in the Canine Good Citizen test, I agree to the following. 

1. I will be responsible for my dog's health needs. These include routine dog vet care for check ups and vaccines, a proper diet and clean water at all times, and daily exercise along with regular grooming and bathing.

2. I will be responsible for my dog's safety, properly control my dog in its premises and using a leash in public. I will also ensure that the dog has some form of identification (tags, tattoos, microchip).

3. I will not allow my dog to infringe on the rights of others. That includes not letting my dog run loose in the neighborhood, not allowing my dog to be a nuisance by barking, and picking up and properly disposing of my dog's waste everywhere, including hiking trails. 

4. I will be responsible for my dog's quality of life, by understanding that basic training is beneficial to all dogs, that all dogs need attention and playtime, and that owning a dog is a commitment in time and caring. 

You need to sign and date your pledge before the Canine Good Citizen test begins. 

Warning: Your dog will fail and be dismissed if he eliminates during testing (with exception item test #10 and only if the test is held outdoors). Make sure your dog takes a long walk and eliminates prior to testing. The other cause of dismissal is growling, attacking, snapping, biting and overall aggression.

There are no dog treats allowed during the entire test.

Equipment: You must bring your dog's leash that will be attached to your dog's buckle or slip collar. Special training collars, such as pinch ones and head halters, are not permitted. Bring a brush or comb. The evaluator is responsible for supplying the 20 foot lead.

The test that comprises of ten parts. 

Items on the Canine Good Citizen test

1. Accepting a friendly stranger

This test demonstrates your dog will allow a stranger to approach safely in a normal every day situation. The evaluator and you, the handler, meet and greet briefly, ignoring the dog. The dog must show no signs of discomfort and must not break position. 

2. Sitting politely for petting

This test demonstrates that the dog will allow a friendly stranger to touch him. With the dog in the sit position, next to his owner, the evaluator pets the dog. Your dog must not show aggression or overt shyness, try to pull away etc.

3. Appearance and grooming

This is a practical aspect of the test, as it demonstrates the dog can be groomed and examined. The evaluator inspects the dog to determine if it's healthy and groomed. The evaluator will also brush or comb your dog, lightly giving it a physical examination. The dog does not need to stay completely still, but should remain calm and compliant.

4. Walking on a loose lead

This demonstrates the handler's control. The dog may be on either side of his handler and does not need to be perfectly aligned with the handler nor sit. The evaluator will most likely use a pre-plotted course (often using orange cones with signs attached). There will be a left and a right turn, an about turn and at least one stop involved. The handler may talk to the dog through this, using praise and commands. 

5. Walking through a crowd

Dog and handler must show they can walk around and pass close to several people (a minimum of three) without the dog displaying over-exuberance, shyness, jumping, or aggression and without straining on the leash.

6. Sit and down on command and staying in place

This demonstrates that your dog has basic training and will respond to the handler's commands. The dog must do both the sit and down command. The handler chooses in which position to demonstrate the stay. The leash is replaced with a 20 foot line. The handler may even gently touch the dog to get him in position. When instructed, the handler tells the dog to stay and walks toward the end of the line then turns and returns to the dog at a normal pace. The dog may change position but must stay in place until the handler releases it. 

7. Coming when called

You, the handler, move ten feed from your dog, turn to face the dog and call him to you. Feel free to encourage your dog to come by using an exciting tone of voice.

8. Reaction to another dog

This demonstrates your dog will behave in the presence of other dogs. You and your dog need to approach another handler with his dog from a distance of 20 feet. Stop, shake hands, exchange a few words, and move away to 10 feet. The dogs should show nothing more than casual interest in each other. 

9. Reaction to distraction

This test demonstrates the dog's confidence in view of common yet distracting situations. Examples of such situations are the dropping of a chair, rolling a cart or dolly past the dog, and having a jogger run past the dog. Your dog may express interest but should not panic, eliminate, bark, show aggression or nervousness. Feel free to talk and calm your dog during this part of the exam.

10. Supervised separation

This demonstrates that your dog will maintain its training and good manners away from you. You, the owner, have to leave your dog with the trainer for 3 minutes. You must be out of sight. Your dog does not have to stay in any particular position but should not bark, whine, or show anything other than mild agitation. 

Overall, the Canine Good Citizen test, is not too demanding. It's all about practice and socialization. If you're not already doing so, start bringing your dog in public places with you. Whether out for coffee or to the neighborhood's pet store, the exposure will breed additional confidence. 

You can view a real example of a canine good citizen test taking by clicking on this link: Chiweenie Canine Good Citizen test taking.

Good luck to all hopeful good citizens and their handlers.

Twinkie

Grateful Teacup Chihuahua Pictures

I may be tiny, but my gratitude is enormous. I was so shocked and surprised to receive not just one, but two packages in the mail just yesterday. The first one was from my friend, Sally Ann. She said that her thoughtful mommy came up with the idea. 

At first, I was suspicious of the package

At first glance, the content made me wince

I am a chihuahua!

Of course, I hadn't realized it wasn't meant for me

As I was saying, not only am I a chihuahua, this thing was meant for someone much larger than I am, an irish wolfhound perhaps. 

Get those smelly socks off me

and

I can't possibly be 510 years old, can I?

My fabulous and well mannered spotted sister had to model

 The chiweenie couldn't recognize her and had to come up close for a good sniff

Thank you, Sally Ann and her mommy. Our thoughts are with your family these days. We wish Lord McDuff, the eskie, a spectacular come back (I hope you remembered to get him down from the door knob). 

The second package, was from Puddles, the model, um, the doxie, as I found out after I got help opening it. You see, I don't open suspicious packages as I don't accept candy or rides from stranger. As I was saying, I asked for help. I invited the cats because . . . they have many lives.

The great Max, the maine coon cat, gave his seal of approval

Bob seconded that

The chiweenie unveiled one of the hidden treasures, Pooch Pops, yummy!

I didn't care so much for the next present, but somebody squealed

M loved it and was grateful

She will cherish it either forever or until one of our cats breaks it, but one thing is for sure, she will safeguard it

This year's logo was created by our friend Ann at Zoolatry

We'll be lucky to have nearly as beautiful a logo for next year's Global Animal Blogging Event!

Just in case, Bob sniff tested the cup too

Cats are suspicious by nature

Teacup chihuahua posing with actual cup and pooch pops

What I enjoyed the most was my lovely card

That Puddleliscious is too much

Thank you

To tell you the truth, it was so nice to have a Global Animal Blogging Event memento. You were too thoughtful dear Puddles, Albert, Whitney, and mommy!

Thank you for the lovely presents!

Twinkie

Teacup Chihuahua Graduates From USC

Extra extra, read all about it! On May 14th, at approximately 11 o'clock, a teacup chihuahua graduated from USC. This was the first recorded incident of a chihuahua graduate in the history of the school. It was the first of many. The teacup chihuahua  graduation will be well established in the years to come. The term, coined by the first chihuahua to ever graduate was: Gradhuahua!

I will let my chihuahua pictures tell you the story.

I arrived in style, in M's purse

While I was waiting for my class to graduate, I ate a bit to keep my energy level up

The donut was a bit stale, but luckily I had some coffee to wash it down with

A good samaritan agreed to watch the chiweenie and me while M bought a lei

Instead of helping me out, sharing her canine good citizen test tips, the chiweenie . . .

well, she spent her time under a chair, classic!

I walked, with some assistance, with the other graduates

And walked . . .

And walked . . .

I was finally handed my diploma and recognition

In the end, we all got in the car, the chiweenie passed out

We were headed to the beach to continue the celebrations

To be continued

Congratulations Class of 2010! Fight on! 

Twinkie the Gradhuahua

Teacup Chihuahua Pictures

This is turning into a teacup chihuahua week. Might as well stick with the theme then and do a photo demonstration using . . . myself! I am here to pose for a few characteristic shots.

A teacup chihuahua is an alert chihuahua

Always ready for action

Love getting dirty

Not crazy for showers but drying off can sometimes be fun,

especially if the temperature is over 100 degrees, otherwise,

no fun

We make friends easily

In this photo, my chiweenie sissy on the left, and

my pal, Dexter the doxie in the middle. 

We love dog treats . . .

Okay, we love anything edible

We love to travel in style and to feel important

Always ready to crack up at a joke

The one thing we're not crazy about, especially us blog-chis, are the puparazzi

Overall, I'd say that we're adorable, small but mighty, make sweet baby sounds, and don't take up much space. 

If you're thinking about getting your own chihuahua, do conduct a thorough research and please do look into rescue dogs first.

Twinkie

Teacup Chihuahua Video | The Singing Chihuahua

Back by popular demand, Boomer, the singing teacup chihuahua. Just check out yesterday's comments and you'll know what I'm talking about. And without any further ado, I hereby present you (drumroll) the one, the spectacular, the unforgettable teacup chihuahua video you've been asking for.




Believe me, getting this video wasn't easy, but it sure was worth it.

Twinkie!

Coin Operated Teacup Chihuahua Strikes Again

I can't get enough of Boomer, the Teacup Chihuahua, singing a song. He'll sing for food, for  dog chews, for fun... He's a natural born singer. My chiweenie sissy always stares at him in wonderment as he serenades all of us at the horse barn.

'O Sole Mio

Luciano Pavarotti step aside

Sibes too

teacup chihuahua tenor

It ain't over 'till the fab chihuahua sings!

Today's teacup chihuahua pictures over, but there are more...

Twinkie