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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Surprise Advice

I bet you've all received something in the mail that made your heart skip a beat. I get tons of mail like that. The other day I opened an email from somebody wanting to give me 5 million dollars! Another time, a lady who was old and had no family wanted to give me her estate. Wonderful strangers chose me to offer their drugs to. Heck, one time I even won the Australian International Sweepstakes.
Among those emails I received a note from Stella's World. At first, I though it was SPAM. I had been leaving notes for Ali Zophia all over blogland trying to get her attention. I was so impressed with her advice column that I was dreaming of having my own some day. So I kept teasing and commenting, and out of the blue, bam! Email from Ali Z, titled: Advice Column. Hmmm, interesting, I thought she was giving me personal-personal advice now and I was grateful. Imagine my shock when I read the line: "My Mom, Stella and I would be happy to give you my advice column." I almost fell off my desk (I don't use a chair). I just couldn't believe my eyes. I mean, I can believe I'll be getting a million pounds from London but THE advice column??? 

I quickly replied in case Ali Zophia changed her mind. She hasn't yet. Not only that but she and Stella posted the most hilarious conversation making it official! For the record, Ali Zophia was NOT fired. She has moved on to something TOP secret. I'm so excited to find out what is happening at their blog next. By the end of the post it was official: I, Twinkie Maria Conchita Espenoza Cucaracha Doodle-Bug Chupa Cabra Twinkerson, am honored to take over the famous Ali Zophia Advice Column. I will try my hardest to answer every-furiend's questions regardless of the perils I may be faced with in my quest for the correct response.

Please use my full name when leaving questions, I don't want to be confused with anybody else. Know that every question is important to me and that I will be recruiting the help of many critter-specialists to better serve you. So BRING IT ON! I have a hotline available to take questions 24/7. The number is 1-800-DEAR-TWINKIE

I thought the photo above would be appropriate as a header to the advice column. It summarizes what I stand for: a big mouth and an even bigger desire to laugh.

Ali Z! You are one cool kat! I will miss your column, but I am also looking forward to seeing what you and Stella have in store for us. Dear Abby, beware! Dear Twinkie's on the loose.
* * *
GLOBAL ANIMAL BLOGGING EVENT UPDATE: Wonderful and detailed new post from our furiends The Bumpass Hounds! Even if you're clear on G.A.B.E. I still highly recommend you visit their blog. 


Madi and Mom said...

My Dear TMCECD-bCCT, we are astounded by the news that you have been given Ali's advice column!!!
Congrats on quite an achievement.

Madi and I posted today about receiving your wonderful book. Before you get to busy with your advice column drop by...:-)
Madi and Mom

houndstooth said...

Giving advice is the perfect job for you! Congratulations!


P.S. How do I get people to mail me a million dollars? I could do a lot of things with that kind of green!

Gnomebody said...

Oh my, Twinkie Maria Conchita Espenoza Cucaracha Doodle-Bug Chupa Cabra Twinkerson! Congrats to you! We are most excited to read of your good fortune. We can't believe that YOU won the Australian Lottery ALSO! We have so much in common!

Sniffs and Licks,
Auggie and Riley

kissa-bull said...

oh our beloved Twinkie Maria Conchita Espenoza Cucaracha Doodle-Bug Chupa Cabra Twinkerson
we are so furry much full of exciteables for your new column
we want to present our first question if you dont mind
lucky and coco chanel want to know how in the world can they find themselves a boyfurryend , everyfurry else in the household has been hit by the lovebug except for them. please to help the single gals of the pittie pack
pibble sugars
lucky and coco chanel

Dory and the Mama said...

Wow...your own advice column?? You have moved on to the bigtime Twink!!


Frankie Furter said...

Holey Cow!! Twink that is grrrreat, I do wonder how your readership will recall all portions of you FULL name though.
Are you going to charge us for your advice???

brooke said...

Twinkie Maria Conchita Espenoza Cucaracha Doodle-Bug Chupa Cabra Twinkerson! I am very excited by this news that you will be the new host host of the Ali Z advice column!

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Let the fun begin...

Oh wait, it already has!

Then, let's keep this pawty going!

Khongrats on your pawesome assignment!


Martine said...

OMD! Totally totally NEAT!!!!!!!! We had never visited the advice blog before, what a fun idea!!! The kiddlets are excited to know they can submit questions and get some helpful advice....

xo martine & the kiddlets

Olive said...

Hey there!! We blogged about GABE..and I think we did it right..maybe? BOL! Not real sure!!

Have a wonderful week!

Licks from me --


Heather and Pumpkin said...

What great news Twinkie!


Remington said...

Congrats! You will do a great job!

Kira The BeaWootiful said...

Woooos Twinkie!I am looking forward to this! So what is a girl to do when she has her computer broken? That is my first question... we are at the library right now...(actually only Mom is, she said I was not allowed, can woo believe that???
~husky kisses~
-Kira The BeaWootiful

MAX said...

Hey there Twinks!

I'm gonna call you 'Doodle-bug' from now on!!!...the reason might become clear in a future planned post in the very distant future :))

I want to wish you well in your new advice collumn as well as the GABE! It's a great idea and we'll be cheering you even though from the sidelines. Unfortunately we never know what is going to happen in our lives from day to day - as I am sure you will understand - so we don't want to commit ourselves...

Thank you so, so much for your contribution to the amazing 'Max-terpiece'. I am deeply touched.


( the portrait of me???...without my Mom knowing?)

I'm curious to get your take on it? (If you like?)


JackDaddy said...

Oh I wanted to be the first question, but MaxDog beat me to it! :)

So I will be your second question: Boxers or briefs? :)

Ina in Alaska said...

Little Doodly Oodly Cutie Pie Teeny Tiny Little Happy Busy Dog....

You are going to be one busy little gal! Congratulations!! Hugs and Kisses from Alaska to you... xoxo

Anonymous said...

Hi Twinkie Maria Cuckoo Bird Cha-Cha-Cha! (Did I get it right? I tried to do it from memory.) I will miss Ali Z's column but I can't thinks of a single furend that would be better at giving advices than YOU! I don't have a question at the moment but I'll give it a whole bunch of thoughts.

Wiggles & Wags,

K9friend said...

Goodness! I'm totally impressed. No one's ever offered a column to anyone in our house!

Stella, Gunther and Betty said...

Dearest Twinkie Maria Conchita Espenoza Cucaracha Doodle-Bug Chupa Cabra Twinkerson, aka My Little Hot Tamale.

Please let me be the first to asks you a question.

How do we get our Betty to stop taste testing her own poops? That's all for now.

Poop free kisses,

Lorenza said...

Hi Dear Twinkie Maria Conchita Espenoza Cucaracha Doodle-Bug Chupa Cabra Twinkerson.... OMD! Sure you have a long name!
Kisses and hugs

GonetoTheSnowDogs said...

Kewl job!
Hey what is that bar on the bottom of you blog??? I like that. . how do I get one???

Woo Wooo
Shiloh, Shelby & Their Mom

Mango said...

You are now in charge of wise words? Hmmm.. perhaps you can tell me why it is that no matter how much I pee and poo before I go to bed I always cry and cry to go out around 3 AM and check the yard for invaders? Isn't that my job? Why does it make momma grouchy?


Mhathy said...

Congratulations!! Bechitos Peggy

Stella said...

Hmmmmm, Excellent letter, Mr. Twinkerson, just plain excellent!

We are delighted to have you doing Advice to the Lovelorn and Confused and Know, Just Know, you will do a terrific job! Do you have a day picked out to run this column? We don't want to miss even ONE!

Love and hugs,
Stella, Ali Zophia and Mom

Benny and Lily said...

Oh twinkie how true and hysterical!
Benny & Lily

dewdana said...

Awesome Twinkie deer! We are lookingforward to it and will turn to you when we are confused or lovelorn from now on!

Life With Dogs said...

I hope you're bringing your thinking cap Twinkie! Your noodle is going to get a workout. :)

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello twinkie its dennis the vizsla dog hay i am luking forward to yore advice!!! and also to finding owt if in yore noo pozishun yoo meet enny selebritteez hoo want to gest host my sunday awards and meem show!!! ok bye

Mr Koda MD said...

Twinkie Maria Conchita Espenoza Cucaracha Doodle-Bug Chupa Cabra Twinkerson, congratulations on your new Advice Column!!!!!

Looking forward to hearing your tellings, oh wise one!

Koda MD

3 doxies said...

Twinkie Maria Conchita Espenoza Cucaracha Doodle-Bug Chupa Cabra gots to be kiddin', you know how looooong that took to type?
I is so looking forward to your column....uh, when we get to start???????

The Doxie Diaries said...

You will be perfect in your new job. You have lots of streets smarts and you are so earthy. Can't wait to read. That pictures of you showing your teeth is fierce.

BTW: Mommy says thank you about the technical stuff comment. She got it fixed. She didn't know that it wasn't being shown.

Woof Y'all,

Toby- The dog with a blog said...

Advice, you?? I don't know about that...
You are very cute though, so good luck!

the booker man said...

congrats, miss twinkie maria conchita espenoza cucaracha doodle-bug chupa cabra twinkerson!!!
(i am already practicing your full name. heehee.)
the booker man

Sagira said...

How exciting! Congrats on your new job.

Mack and Sally Ann said...

Go Twink, advise well!
Sally Ann

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