USC Campus Shut Down as Police Investigate Terrorist "Poop Art" Threat
Authorities shut down parts of the USC campus as they investigated an apparent threat made by a tiny but mighty dog. The caller and perp at first tried to remain anonymous, but after interrogation by the 911 operator confessed that his name was Pedrito.
Law enforcement sources told The Times that the university received a call from someone claiming he had planted "poop art" inside a campus building by scooting his tiny hiney high up against a wall.
The sources said the caller was BOL and sounded intoxicated. He said he'd overdosed on his roommates' catnip.
Nonetheless, USC campus police were searching the area, said the sources.
Students and staff on campus reported parts of the campus had to be close off and fumigated.
Now, as you all know, I, Twinkie Van Twinkerson, the teacup chihuahua have my special sources. The truth is that the USC chihuahua puppy threat came from no other than my own baby bro, Pedro who was returned home, alas, safely, earlier this evening (ugh).
At this point in time, Pedro is not only wanted on the USC campus, he's also blown any chance of visiting his human sister on campus ever again!
Pedrito also blew his chances of graduating from USC like me
Reporting live from the living room heated dog bed,