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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Dear Twinkie | A Dog Advice Column

A dog advice column

houndstooth asked...
Wonderful advice again, Ms. Twinkerson! It appears that Morgan is taking your advice to heart.

Why is it that Morgan acts so different from us, anyway?

Bunny
TVT: Bunny, it makes me sad you have to endure, as I do with my younger sister. New family members can bring unrest and confusion. Wait a minute, I got it! Maybe Morgan is not a german shepherd as she originally thought. Maybe she's a chiweenie! That's it. That's the answer to this deep question.
Bunny's "different" sister with the "disease to please.

Lola asked...
Twinkie, thank you for the fashion advice. I'm going to study it carefully and do my best to dress appropriately for the occasion.

As to the next question - I think this will be a standing request for a while. Any tips you have for training a little brother will be much appreciated.

wags, Lola
TVT: You could always start by teaching him how to speak "kitty". But that would mainly help out Simone and Happy. Okay, how about you teach Brooklyn how to surf the counters and bring you his loot? That would be a great start. For the record though, I think you've done a fabulous job training him so far. I mean, the bed situation was rather important. We'll just have to work on dinner time, but tell your humans, all your moms etc. that extra dog treats make the heart grown fonder. There!
Brooklyn, already in training.

Twinkie,

Now that Puddles is a Preacher, do you think this will influence everyone's roast speeches?

And you bring up a very good point... who should be the next roastee? how often should they be held?

Sam and Pippen
Hosts of
The Hobbit Celebrity Roasts
TVT: She will definitely influence Ruby, Penny, and Frankie, that's for sure. As for the next roast: I would like to suggest we roast Mango. He's constantly in my thoughts and I hope he bounces back real fast so we can roast him out of pure joy for regaining his health! It's not going to be easy to find a pot to accommodate his enormous self, but he's so worth it. 
Why don't you two lie back and meditate. The answer shall come to you.
Aren't all khyttens edible?

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
TVT: Funny you ask, Khyra. Just yesterday, one of the kittens was asking if all fluffy sibes are edible. I guess the answer to both questions is "yes" depending on whether or not you can get away with it. For example, I know you'd meet a bit of resistance from M as well as I know the khyttens would have a tough getting rid of their hairballs.
A hairball of gargantuan proportions
Tucker asked...
Twinkie - Why won't momma get me a brudder? Other doggies are gettin' siblings (Bunny, Brutus, and Dory to name a few). It's not fair I tell you, not fair at all.

woof - Tucker
TVT: Tucker! What did you do with Evil kitty brother #2??? Do I need to call the cat police or send you over some more kittens?
Missing Cat
Frankie the Chiweenie asked…
Could you tell our furiends about Sarge's Animal Rescue Foundation's important contest?
TVT: Finally, the brindle-butt is making sense. Of course I will, especially since it's for a great cause and because it's being led by our good ol' pals, the Thundering Herd! You can find the details here: "Walking With The Herd Contest".

Now, go take on the day!
Twinkie Van Twinkerson



16 comments:

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I'm going bakhk to my nap to ponder all of the advice from this week!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Frankie Furter said...

Twinkie, I love the idea of More Roasts... Mango next??? I vote YES!!
As for letting that PeePee off the Roasting stick... just beclaws she bought a certificate for $7.99 after coupon.... NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!! I have ALREADY written my Roast Post, and that baby is 87 lines long!!!! hehehehe
NOW>>>> I have a very much impawtant question for you. Since PeePee RainX is going to be Co-hostessing MY GIRRRRLS' Bachelorette Pawty, I am pretty much worried about what SHE may have planned for Entertainments and Refreshments and Snacks and, Well I am pretty much worried about the whole thingy. I was wondering if you think SOMEONE (maybe ME) should go to the Pawty to... keep my girrrls safe? Ruby and Penny are so innocent and trusting and loving and mine, and sweet, that they could be easily lead "aSTRAY".

The Thundering Herd said...

Thanks so much for the plug this week! The money we raise is saving over 6 dogs and cats every single day of the year. Isn't that amazing?

JackDaddy said...

As usual, more amazing advices!!:)

houndstooth said...

I think you may be on to something there with that Chiweenie-German Shepherd sister connection!

Tonight I got in trouble for barking at Morgan when she put her paw on my back -- again! How is this fair? I have told her that I don't like it, but she keeps ignoring me. How can I get her to keep her big feet off of my dainty little self without getting in trouble?

Bunny

Peggy y Mhathy said...

Hi Twinky, just stopping by to say hi. Bechitos y saludos desde Panamá... Peggy

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Dear Twink,Great advice once again! Love the photos that accompany each letter too. Thanks for all the good info.
Smooches,
BabyRD and Hootie

Here's a question for you: Have we been under the (wrong) impression that you are a male? We are so sorry if your gender has been misunderstood by us.

Lola said...

Thank you as usual, Twinkie. Now, I have a deep question. My humans got my little brother partly so I'd have someone to play with and not just be a dog bed potato all the time. Well, it worked. I taught him all about playing and zoomies and we're doing it. Now the humans are complaining about our doing it in the house all evening. Just because we make a racket and sometimes crash into them - totally by accident - they want us to take it outside. But it's dark out there. My question is - What do humans really want, anyway?

Thanks much as always, Lola

Madi and Mom said...

TVT once again you have cracked us up. Madi believes someone shipped off their Cat sibling to parts unknown. If we see said cat we'll let you know.
Madi and Mom

Question for next column.
Mom and Dad are taking a mine vacation in early Aug. My beloved sitter, Miss D, moved back to her homeland in the frozen north. I have a new sitter Miss G coming to look after me. I have a few questions.
1. Should I run to greet her like a beloved friend
2. Should I show her my Diva-ness
by ignoring her OR
3. Should I should I be very humble, meow pitifully, prance around her feet and act as if the best thing to arrive in my world since Mom's cornbread?
Respectfully submitted,
Madi

Madi and Mom said...

PS they are taking a mini vacation not a mine vacation...although that sounds pretty darn interesting...
Madi

Tucker said...

Oh don't worry evil Kitty brother #2 is still here causing my ears to bleed. But, he doesn't count, I want a real doggie brudder.

woof - Tucker

mayziegal said...

Twinkie bo Binkie! Your wiseness never ceases to give me the amazements!

Now, for my questions. As you prolly know, me and my BFF Preacher Puddles are going to be giving Ruby and Penny a bachelorette pawty. I want it to be fun but not too wild since youngsters like Ciara will be there. How do I achieve a Most Perfect pawty balance? (Um, I did mention that Puddles is involved in this, right?)

Wiggles & Wags,
Mayzie

Life With Dogs said...

I can make it through another week, thank you! My brain swells every time I come here - you have mastered information dissemination little one...

Sally Ann said...

Hi Miss Twinkerson,
Sally Ann said I must be polite. Why must I go potty outside when the floor is much more convenient?
Andy

Sam and Pippen said...

Twinkie,

Some of us boys would like to 'police' the bachelorette pawty... Pip and I are wondering if we should wear the full uniform or go shirtless?

Sam and Pippen

Mango said...

Dearest Twinkie,

I have gotten so far behind in blogs that I almost missed another most informative installment. So I have a question.

Momma claims I had something called a Caesar which doesn't sound quite right to me. Ever since, she has become what you call super stitch us because everybody keeps asking what happened differently the day of the alleged Caesar. Now she is like some dorky baseball player thinking that she has to do everything exactly the same every day so as not to disrupt my brains. Well that is just boring even for me. Plus she freaks out when I do my active sleeping and sometimes wakes me up in the middle of a really good dream "just to check." As if. How can I convince her that I am fine?

Slobbers,
Mango

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