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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Dear Twinkie | A Dog Advice Column

A dog advice column
houndstooth asked...
Oh darn it! I really thought you were going to mail me my kitten! I had such big plans for things we'd do together, like taking long naps on the couch!

Lilac would like it to be known that she insists upon having the fan on and the a/c at all times! She gets barking mad just thinking about having to go outside for turn out. She does feel much better about recycling those green papers, though!

My question this week is about something I know you are very knowledgable about. We have been doing a lot of hiking lately and we've liked it so much, we plan to do some more. What are the things you think every hound should have in her back pack when she goes on a hike?

Bunny

TVT
I love talking about dog hiking! Oh, the joys of hiking with dogs! But just in case, one should always be prepared for . . . anything. 
I think this will do it
PS: Bunny, you should always pack a copy of the last Cat Fancy magazine. Just in case there are any dull moments. 
miss twinkie,
i'm starting to get filled with the nervosity. see, i woofed to sam and pippen that i'd help police miss ruby and miss penny's bachelorette pawty. we even came up with a super cool dance routine. and after all, my lovely miss mayzie is gonna be there, and i just can't take my eyes off of her most beautimousness. but now all the ladies are woofing about green papers and cheese and throwing these thingies at us dudes?? what has the booker man gotten himself into?!
*woof*
the booker man

TVT
I think we've all seen the aforementioned "dance" routine. If I may add, you looked spectacular! Rest assured my friend, there will be no throwing of green papers. We've agreed to recycle those. As for the cheese, who does not desire cheese thrown at them. Go with the flow. Enjoy. 
The booker man is going to get extra cheese! 

Awww, that is bittersweet about the kitties. M is a good woman - but we know it was hard for her to do.

Now about that ball and chain party - TD and Phantom are planning to go, but we are worried what the guys will think of this lampshade dude showing up. Any idea what we can do?

Woos ~ the OP Pack

TVT
I got a great idea. We'll ask the organizers to respectfully rename it "Frankie's Ball, Chain, and Lampshade Pawty! Phantom will be the best dressed party animal. 
Wow, Phantom! Who's your stylist?

Tank asked...
You're so good at answering questions Miss Twinkie. I would like to know why there are so many idiots in the world. I find myself getting depressed about this. Do you think we could herd them altogether and bite their ankles? I think this would make me feel better.

Sincerely yours,
Tank

TVT
Bitey ankle? Why not! Too bad you're over your kennel cough, I was going to suggest you cough on everybody.
 Tank day dreaming about bitey ankle

Cocorue asked...
TwinkTwink,

You ARE one smart cookie!

i'm still giggling over Tank's comment about the "idiots" in this world. i thought i was the only one thinking that!

Q: how do i Stop mumster from humanising us????? Coco is more hooman than the hoomans themselves!!!
bad enough that Coco has a vast wardrobe and has her own 'armoire' ( exCUUUUSE ME...)
AND now, i haave to wear a Sock to cover my wound - her excuse is that to go 'coneless' i'd have to wear the socks to prevent me from licking my wound.
my FEAR is this is an excuse and Before i know it, i'll be behaving like a hooman - clothes, behavior, eating habits....pls help wise Twink
i'm only 7mths and hoping for a loooooong Dawg life!
pookisses
Tiffy

TVT
TiffTiff, my dearest poor spayed, toothless, and declawed little girl! My heart goes out to you, as I've been through similar ordeals myself. Don't worry, baby. Having more small dog clothes than dad is common, especially for little princesses like your sister. Listen carefully now. This is the perfect opportunity to train your humans. You can train them at any level. I'd start with your main concern. Instead of allowing them to humanize you, I suggest you puppy-ize them. I won't rest until I see a photo of at least one of them in a dog cone and a baby doll dress. As for "The Sock", keep giving them the sad puppy eyes that I see all over your blog and while staring them right in the eyes, softly start chewing on your sock. I've tried it and mom was too busy laughing to get mad. 
As for the armoireS, OMD you're right. But your wise older sister offered to go naked for you. If that's not self-sacrifice, then I don't know what is. 
"The Sock," a new film by Stephen King. As for Coco, a special plea: no more going naked. There are children visiting our puppy blogs.

How do woo do it week after week after week!?!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

TVT
Right back at you, you royal fluff ball, you! And I don't even do transports in the weekends. How do woo do it? 
PH That's probably NOT the way Khyra does it
Frankie The Chiweenie asked...
Are you forgetting something again, Twinkie? Weren't you supposed to mention your blog feature at Carnival of Shopping, along with a description of the Beloved Pets blog?
TVT
Dang! The chiweenie is right this time. Thanks, Frankie. I see you're maturing nicely. Our blog was indeed mentioned in Carnival of Shopping. As for the animal blog you mentioned, you can find it by clicking HERE. It's a blog geared towards information and tips that pet owners might find helpful and useful. 

Now, go take on the day!
Twinkie

18 comments:

pam said...

Hey Twinkie. Did we miss something? Did M give all them kitties away or somethin?

Bobo and Meja

Frankie Furter said...

SPOT ON advice for Phantom. I guarantee that my cuzzin' Sarge will be wearing a Lampshade.. at some point between now and the 21st.. Perfect solution to the situation.
As for the throwing of Green Papers and CHEESE at the Girrrls Pawty... I'm stayin' about 87 zillion miles away from that one. hehehe

JackDaddy said...

Dear Frankie,
You always make me smile. Thank you so very much.

(Except when I have the chapped lips - then it's not so much fun to smile. I guess I will just have to not read your blog when I have the chapped lips!)

mayziegal said...

Hmmm...I am not sure how I feels about my girlfurends throwing cheese at my boyfurend. I just hope he saves some for me!

Okay, my question this week is abouts this thing called Twitter that my mom has signed us up for. It doesn't really make much sense to me. She says we're supposed to "tweet" at people but I don't speak BIRD! Is there some sort of correspondence course I can take?

Thank you ever so much for your Most Wise Advice!

Wiggles & Wags,
Mayzie

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Great suggestion for Phantom, although he and TD have conjured up something a bit more daring. Mom doesn't know about it yet. Now any idea how we can get him to eat?

Woos, Thunder and Ciara, both plotting to escapt for the big Pawty Night Friday the 13th.

the booker man said...

miss twinkie,
that was totally the bestest idea evarrr to turn mr. frankie's bachelor pawty into a ball, chain, and lampshade pawty!! i need to go pick out a super awesome sauce lampshade now cuz you know phantom is gonna set the standard way high like! oh, and i was thinkin' that if i wore the lampshade to miss penny and miss ruby's bachelorette pawty, too, then i wouldn't get bonked in the noggin with all those cheeses! WIN!
*woof*
the booker man

the booker man said...

pee s -- how on earth did miss bunny fit a german shepherd in her backpack?! i also just about died of the giggles when i saw the binaca spray. heeheehee!

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Do woo have a khamera here to watch how I REALLY do it?

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

K9friend said...

Wise and wonderful...what else is there to be said?

Pat
www.critteralley.blogspot.com

houndstooth said...

More woofs of wisdom, wise Twink! I'm not sure I want to carry Morgan in my backpack, though!

Bunny

ForPetsSake said...

Miss Twinkie, I have a question for you...I cleaned the teeth of a teeny, tiny chihuahua today at the vet clinic. I can't help but wonder what little ones like you think when they see the bigger dogs. I only have 2 big girls myself. Any insights? Oh! And please mention Arwen's Pack next Tues...Thanks for the opportunity to share ;) Much love!

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Oooh! Ooooh! If Tank manages to herd all the idiots in the world together, can we help in the ankle biting?!? Pretty please? Okay, now my question for you, Ms. TVT: Why is my little mutant sister SUCH a doofus? Will she EVER grow out of this doofusness, or I am doomed to be stuck with a doofus sister forever?

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Mutant Puppy

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

BOL. Twink you amaze and delight. Hey, here's a qq for you: How come so many of the comments that are in Chinese script have nothing to do with the post they comment on? Also, do you have any idea how to delete unwanted comments on the cbox?? (Mommy had to delete her cbox because of so many awful spam messages.)
Smooches from pooches,
BabyRocketDog and Hootie

Lola said...

You know what I've been pondering, Twinkie? I've been wondering this: You are a tiny dog. It says so right in the title of your blog, so it must be true. Where do you keep that big brain of yours? It doesn't seem like your head would be big enough to hold all the smarts you have.

lotsa licks, Lola

Cocorue said...

TwinkTwink, thankQ for the wise advice.....looking for a lampshade and other items to dress the hoomans BOL!

Tank is soooo right about the idiotic hoomans.......mumster's friend very sweeetly said in front of my sista Coco:
"no offence but does Coco's brain correspond with her size?"

I WAS SO angry but being toothless and with bandaged legs, i PEED on her biiiig time!!! NOW, i'm being punished.......stooopid hoomans!

I WANT TO BE ADOPTED by another DOG...can you help advertise for me? thanks my furiend

Huffle Mawson said...

Such good advice Twinkie!

Madi and Mom said...

Twinkie....once again we thank you from the bottom of our feline heart for the MOL!!!
You my friend are funny
Madi and Mom

Twinkietinydog said...

Hi Twinkie, how are you? I have a question for your dog advice column. My chihuahua sister, Princess, and I love each other very much and we like to hold hands (paws). Mom thinks it's very cute but my german shepherd friends make fun of me. My question is, do you think it's okay for a chihuahua and a german shepherd to hold hands?

Thank You,

Cupcake (photo as email attachment)

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