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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Dear Twinkie | A Dog Advice Column

A dog advice column

PLEASE READ THE IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT AT THE BOTTOM


 ‪mayziegal‬ asked...
Thank you for all your very wise advices, Twinkie Doodle. I sure didn't mean to gets Frankie in troubles with his wives. But I kinda feel a deep connection with anybuddy else who has experience bear poop first-paw.


My question is this today. Remember how I went on date night with BOTH Booker Man and Mack? But, well, Mack has kinda disappeared off Blogworld and sweet Booker has been there with me through thick and thin. Do you think it's okay to consider myself exclusive with Booker? What if Mack comes back to Blogworld? Would that be awkward?


Take care of that big brain of yours, Twinkie! I don't know where we'd be without it!


Wiggles & Wags,

Mayzie

TVT: I personally don't get doggie monogamy. I respect those, like Frankie Furter (ex Frankie Flirter), who take the plunge, but I wouldn't ever limit myself to one beau. One of the advantages of being of the non human species is that we get to be polygamous. Now, I'm not talking about promiscuity, I'm only referring to dating and going out for frozen yöghund and movies. Relax, dear furiend and enjoy your time with your sweet Booker. I also recommend checking out our pet photo contest entries (Show Us Your Tongue) as a form of a doggie dating site, where we all meet and greet. I've personally picked out quite a few potential dating material doggies.
When Mack comes back to blogworld, he'll be too busy making excuses (like we all do) for his long and abrupt absence, to notice who you're dating.


I highly recommend you forget about exclusivity and broaden your horizons. Have a ball!

‪Tank‬ asked...
Another fine column Ms. Twinkie. You have a real gift for being able to sort through the gibberish that dogs write and getting right at the problem. Some of these dogs are just hopeless... I notice that they're back week after week after week with one silly question after another. I wonder how you keep your sanity (not a question for your column... unless you want it to be.) I think I'd be cursing and throwing things if I had to wade through letters like this every week. Did they ever legalize medicinal marijuana out there in sunny CA? Is that your secret?

TVT: I'll be glad to respond to you, after you're off your pain meds! You silly furiend. For the record, marijuana is not a stimulant. It is a depressant and a hallucinogen. I doubt I could have seen our last contest through had I been using marijuana. As for the legalization, medicinal marijuana use is indeed legal in Cali, but come November, even recreational marijuana may be legalized (although I  doubt it). Are you planning a move?

Enjoy your legal green grass as you fully recover


‪houndstooth‬ asked...
Well, Twink, Mom likes your advice better than mine, which involved cattle prod. 

We are sitting here in the dark on a stormy night with no electricity. I was wondering, what do you think is the best way to pass the time when you're sitting around in the dark?


Bunny

TVT: A power outage is the ideal time to play hide and seek. It's okay if you can't find because it's too dark. You can also have fun playing tug in the dark, and keep in mind that whatever you break doing that, will not be seen, at least for a few hours. You can also play fetch with glow in the dark dog toys,  or led toys, like the Nite Ize Led K-9 pet ball. You can work on your canine IQ by playing brain teasers. Your parents can line up a few bowls, egg cartons, boxes, hiding a treat under one. Finders, keepers! And if your parents are lazy, you can have a store-bought puzzle, such as the Nina Ottosson's Interactive Dog Toy, handy.  Another couple of fun dog puzzles you can also play in the dark are the Premier Twist and Treat Dog Toy and the Premier busy buddy Tug-a jug If you are not prepared and don't have any of the above mentioned items handy, then my best suggestion is to play the "drive your pawrents nuts" game. It's an easy and fun activity for dogs.

Don't ever consider going back to your Greek roots!
They have constant power outages over there.

‪Sonic‬ asked...
Hi Twink! My Pops enjoys your column so much that he's planning to put something similar in a magazine that he works on. But he doesn't think his client will allow him to let a dog answer questions. 


Humans are short-sighted like that, huh? Any ideas on how he can convince them that a dog is just as smart and can solve problems?


Sonic

TVT: Sure, Sonic. Have your humans sniff for cancer, bombs, or drugs and see how they fare. Then, dump them at a remote location and wait for them to come home. You rest and wait. And if that doesn't cover your question, think of all the times your humans kept staring at you blankly when you were trying to tell them something. Bottom line, who picks up who's poo?

The embodiment of K9 intelligence

Mango asked...
Dear Twinkie,


I have a question for your advice column. Why is it that many doggies seem to have trouble following instructions for exciting happy fun times competitions? Hehehe. Hahaha. Oh hohoho.


Slobbers,
 Mango

TVT: Since I've already established our superiority when our intelligence is compared to that of humans, I believe the problem is that most doggies had their humans enter them in the competition, and we all know how humans are. They don't read all of the instructions, they don't always get that email and blog addresses are  not the same, and fortunately for us, they all think that their pooch is so special that everyone should know his or her name. 

Mango laughing at his own jokes while getting Twinkie in trouble.

Frankie the chiweenie asked...
Mango has a point. Why don't you remind everyone about the Show Us Your Tongue pet photo contest and the deadlines?

TVT: At last! A question that makes sense. Good job, Frankie!

VOTING IN PROGRESS HERE
POLLS CLOSE: SUNDAY, OCTOBER 3, 10:00 A.M (PST)
ONLY FIVE VOTES PER PACK/TRIBE/HERD/FAMILY member
The results and the winners will be announced on
this blog on Tuesday, October 5th

Oskar asked...

Dear Genius Twinkie dog,
My mom person & I have created a new pet blogging site called Pet Blogs United.  www.PetBlogsUnited.com
It's a cool place to meet new friends, find out what's going on in the pet blogosphere, and get to be a Featured Blogger.
How can I spread the word to all of my friends?

Yours,

Oskar 

TVT: Like this!

GO TO PET BLOGS UNITED TO MEET NEW FURIENDS AND BE A FEATURED BLOGGER!

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.

* * *

THE IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT 

As of today, Twinkie is taking a sabbatical for personal reasons and to do further work with animal rescues. The blog will not change. A blogger friend is going to be the new administrator, but he will NOT be monitoring comments. The pet photo contest results will be posted next Tuesday as scheduled.

I would like to thank you all my kind friends, furiends, and supporters. I will be seeing you in the future. Keep rocking, voting, laughing, and lighting up the animal blog-dom.

Now, go take on the day!

Twinkie Van Twinkerson

25 comments:

K-9 Katastrophe said...

Will you come back soon, Twinkie?
*Sniff*

Licks,
Ruthie

Amy and The House of Cats said...

Aw Twinkie we are sad you are going - will the new dude let us know what is up at your place with everything? We will miss you and all the gang over there! But it sounds like you are going to be doing some great things - so we totally admire that!

Oskar said...

Thank you so much! We can't believe you fit us in already.

We are going to miss you, but will be here while your gone & waiting when you can return!

Nubbin wiggles & hugs,
Oskar

Mango said...

Twinkie! This was your best column yet (and not only because it had a photo on me either). I especially liked your advice to miss mayzie as I, Mango, have many girlfriends. Like you said, that's part of what makes being a dog fun, right?

Hey! Come back soon, OK?

Slobbers,
Mango

the booker man said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
the booker man said...

miss twinkie,
we are sure gonna miss you so much!! take care of yourself while you are away, and we'll look forward to seein' you when you get back!

*woof*
the booker man

pee s -- i gotta admit i'm cryin' inside just a little over the answer you gave to miss mayzie...i'm a-okay with sharin', but hopefully she won't wanna have too many boyfriends!!

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Seems to be contagious, eh Twink? Hope all is well.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Neeko said...

Oh nooo Miss Twinkie...
I just found you and now you are going away???
I'm sure it is very important stuff so you take care and hurry back. We will miss youuu...

One quick query: I'm trying to vote for my Bro, LeoT. but cannot see his picture on the Tongue contest page... Any thoughts?

Kisses,
Neeko :o)

mayziegal said...

Wait! WHAT? You're going away? WHAT? I do not like this one bit. Nope. I mean, I understand you gots impawtant things to do but that doesn't mean I have to like it and it doesn't mean I won't miss you or cry a little inside. Sigh. Don't be gone TOO long. Okay, Twinkie?

Anyways, thank you for your advices. I can see what you're saying but, well, I think at heart I'm a one-mandog kinda gal. And when that one mandog is Booker...sigh! Well, I just don't think there's anybuddy that could compare to him.

Wiggles & Wags,
mayzie

Tank said...

A sabbatical is a fancy way of saying you're sick of all these dumb questions. I knew it!

Asta said...

Twinkie
I was laughing and enjoying all youw advice and then got to the bottom and now I'm totally depwessed..pleez come back soon
smoochie kisses
ASTA

The Teacher's Pets said...

Hello Twinkie...I loved reading all of your advice and I am glad someone is willing to sort through the mail to share your advice with all of dog blogland. I think you are a combination of Dr. Ruth and Dr. Laura and Oprah combined and that's a good thing!
By the way, I saw my first ever chihuahua babies today! I bet you will squeal with joy to see them on my blog!

Those Elgin Pugs said...

Twinkie!!!

You makes 'da Mommy laughs wits yous column... and us's tinks of questions!!!

Enjoys yous time offs and we's checking on yous next contests!!!

hugs!!
Josie, IzZY and Anakin Man

Draco and his Mom said...

We hope a change of pace keeps you happy and funny. We will miss you at our den.
Wags,
Draco

houndstooth said...

Awww, Twink! We'll miss you! I hope you have fun doing whatever you decide to do!

Bunny

Benny and Lily said...

ut oh voting booth...
Benny & Lily

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

My rule is one per breed! ! !

Khome bakhk soon...

But do what woo need to do!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Hailey said...

Oh Twink!!! I'm right there with Asta~ I just met you and now you've gone. Just like tha! Poof!!! I bet it was all the letters gave you pawper cuts and we know that they can hurt! HURRY back FAST!!!

Hugs & smoochies!!! XOXO
Hailey

Lola said...

Twinkie, we're not sure how we're going to hold the blogiverse together without you. Your new administrator has some big pawprint to fill - in the figurative sense, of course. We'll miss you and hope you'll be back soon.

lotsa licks, Lola

Doris Sturm said...

Dear Miss Twinkie!

You are one smart cookie!

Enjoy your sabatical!

Love,
Gizzy and his mom
Bow-wow!

brooke said...

How can dog blog land survive without the Twinkster?! Hope you come back soon!
Enjoy your time away.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing the link, but unfortunately it seems to be down... Does anybody have a mirror or another source? Please answer to my post if you do!

I would appreciate if a staff member here at twinkietinydog.blogspot.com could post it.

Thanks,
Peter

Coco - The Princess said...

OMD you are such a cute little Chihuahua! and best of all you are the same size as me and one of my sisters!

We look forward to getting to know you better!

Tail Wiggles & Puppy Kisses,

Coco The Princess, Lady Godiva & Truffle

Anonymous said...

I would like to exchange links with your site twinkietinydog.blogspot.com
Is this possible?

Piappies World said...

We wish you luck in your rescues and the other things you will be busy with. We will surely look forward to your return.

We actually wanted to ask for your advise on how to do the Froggie Pose. Fudgie and Wai-Max could not possibly do it when we read your sabbatical post.

We really enjoyed your posts and we love your photos. It goes without saying that we will really miss you!

We will just be here for you too. Thank you so much for everything and we will always cherish your friendship.

Love,
Piappies Fudgie, Princess, Frappie, Mocha, Sugar, Wai-Pai & Wai-Max
and Piappies Mom

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