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Sunday, January 23, 2011

Attention Insane Cracker Dogs | Part Trois

Notice: I'm going to get back to address yesterday's comments, as soon as I'm allowed to leave the witness protection program. I was swiped yesterday from The Estate by the secret animal blog-dom police after receiving some disconcerting dog threats in my comments.
* * *
The honorable Judge Twink presiding
You may sit or lie down.
Please, no pee-mail inside the courtroom.
More preliminary scoring of
 INSANE CRACKER DOG CATEGORY entries in

Warning:
Scoring rules may change at any time based on my SOLE discretion
Best possible score: 5
Worst possible score: -5
Extra points are in units and are based on bribes

Contestant #6

Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
5p for breed advantage
5p for causing beach commotion, "the incident"
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p Overall reaction
-1p I had to deduct a point for the "normal" shot
Level of Destruction
4p for or excellent opening. I would have given you a 5 but you only destroyed one stuffy.
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
-1p for your mom's teasing comment in the end. Are you or are you not ferocious? Food for thought
-1 for allowing your human to share a photo of you soaking wet
+2 because of your pawrticipation in Show Us Your Tongue
Bribes
Better start working on that, kk?

Contestant #7
Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
5p for your enthusiasm
5p for getting the rules right
5p for being an ol' time pal
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p Overall reaction
6p for showing (instead of just telling) that you're a fighter and not a lover!
Level of Destruction
4p for or excellent opening. I would have given you a 5 but you only destroyed one stuffy.
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
-1p for being on leash when standing at the edge of a cliff. It's only fair.
+1 for flying
+3 for ringing neighbors' doorbells and running away. We should do it together one of these days.
1000 bonus points. You set an example for all other Mango Minster contestants. Bravo! I'm proud of you. You're also in the lead still.


Contestant #8
Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
5p for primarily cracking yourself up, a must for all cracker dogs
5p for cracker sleep positions
5p for obsession with shoes, tails, and tennis balls
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p for being more springy than a bungee cord
6p for unleashing your "cracker doggieness" on the poodles
Level of Destruction
5p for running through the house wet and rubbing of everything. Great dog training tip for all! Train your humans while they're still young.
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
+2 for ears in the air action shots
+3 for final shot is which you show how crazy you are by eating human foot over paper carcass
Bribe
Instead of properly bribing my honor, you chose to: play with another chihuahua (not me), go visit horses (not with me) and celebrate Bobo's birthday (happy bark day Bobo) without me. 
-200 points but there's still time.


I think I need a break until you folks get out your dogctionaries and figure out the meaning of the verb "to bribe". 


Court is adjourned for the day

TT4N

Twinkie V. Twinkerson

United Pet Blogdom District Judge

9 comments:

Benny and Lily said...

Oh Sadie...BOL great entry
Benny & Lily

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Um Twinkie...I um like didn't know you were a WOMAN.

We did put a post up about how we want to reward you and Mango for all your hard work.

That's it...not a bribe...I'd never stoop to bribing...

Now since I know you're a girl and such, maybe we could go out for a mani/pedi after the Minster and talk about Mango, the big Jerk....I mean that dear dear boy in Master Chew Sits...

Now the fact we put your pic on our blogger header also has nothing to do with bribing...it's merely the fact my brothers wanted a HOI girl er attractive woman to gaze at....

Most respectful wishes,

Lacie Girl

Mango said...

Oh dear, I would be worried about the beastie except that I know you can handle her. I chose my judges wisely.

Slobbers,
Mango

The Bumpass Hounds said...

Hey Twinkie,
Isn't bribery illegal? You're such a cute little girl. Why just this afternoon we were watching a movie on TV, Good Fellas or something like that, and my brother Max said that he'd like to take you out, .......on a date that is. My brother J.E.B. was digging a big hole out in the back paddock this afternoon, I wonder what he's planning on burying this time. I think we'll also put up a post about how we intend to reward you.
Today's word of the day is STALK:
A stem or main axis of a herbaceous plant.

http://www.hark.com/clips/jgypscrync-napalm-in-the-morning

- Patti and The Family at Bumpass Hounds and Kitties

Pepsi Bum said...

You're such a tough judge, Twink!

Woofs,
Pepsi

Priscilla said...

Don't you need a rest, Judge Twinkie? A beauty rest and spa are essential for a beauty like you!!!

The Boston Lady said...

Dearest Most Feminine of Judges Twinkie, my human is letting me post after she read aloud your generous, yet somewhat limited awarding of points pour moi, Sadie. When she read that you had deducted points for my "normal" picture, I went absolutely nuts, because can't you see that is my ruse? I appear non-cracker, yet go completely cracker at a moment's notice without warning. This is how I keep these humans under my control and achieve access to things and places that send me into an absolute cracker state.

Now about those bribes... my human will be researching what kind of bribes Sam doled out to your honorableness and I will get back to you.

Still your most humber cracker-servant, Sadie

The Bumpass Hounds said...

Hey Tiny Twinkie,
Here is an update on me:

http://bumpasshounds.blogspot.com/2011/01/insane-cracker-candidate-patti-whackit.html

- Patti Whackit and The Bumpass hounds and Kitties Family

Santa, Minnie and Christmas said...

Hi Judge Twinkie,

I have something to share with you. It is to reward you for the hard work you have as the judge at Mango Minster.

- Minnie

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