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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Twinkie's Honor

FROM THE RECORDS OF MANGO MINSTER 2011

Final Ethics Report and Show Recap

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Here for your reading pleasure is the final ethics report from our Guardian of Ethics, Miss Abby ...

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To: His Magnificence, Mango the Relentlessly Huge, Creator and Organizer of Mango Minster
From: Abby, L.B.E., Official Guardian of Judicial Ethics for Mango Minster 2011
Re: Final Report

Abby is pleased to report that the overall standards of judicial ethics at Mango Minster 2011 were exemplary. The majority of judges and contestants conducted themselves with honesty, intelligence, humor and respect for the high standards set by prior Mango Minster events. While Abby monitored the entries, supplemental posts and comments of all contestants for possible attempts at bribery or illicit influence of the judges, her primary responsibility was to ensure the integrity of the judiciary itself.


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Judge Twinkie V. Twinkerson, United Pet Blogdom District Judge, occasioned Abby the greatest official concern. Judge Twinkie was not only flagrant and frequent in her solicitation of bribes, but she actually conducted a FIVE-part seminar on bribery to guide the contestants in her Insane Cracker Dog category [January 13, 14, 16, 17 and 22]. Judge Twinkie further developed and disseminated early in the contest the criteria by which she intended to judge the contestants. Said criteria included, in addition to three acceptable category-related sections, credit for Random & Arbitrary Bonus & Bogus Points and an entire section headed simply "Bribes." As a result of Judge Twinkie's casual relationship with judicial ethics, her category engendered by far the most elaborate and highest number of bribe offers from contestants. Judge Twinkie was offered, inter alia, three luxury vacations [a month long spa vacation in B.C. by Sam; a relaxing beach vacation in FL by Sadie; and an exotic beach vacation in Malaysia by Eva], as well as a plane ticket to a presumably fun filled locale in Mexico by Uncle Puppy. Abby is shocked at the pretty much total lack of judicial ethics displayed by the judge in this category and leaves it to the Mango to determine whether any disciplinary action is required.


Respectfully submitted

Dear "Guardian of 'Ethics'":
Miss Abby, in her own words, stated that: "The majority of judges and contestants conducted themselves with honesty, intelligence, humor and respect for the high standards set by prior Mango Minster events. " In other words, the odds are with me that I'm indeed respectful, intelligent, funny and above all HONEST. Furthermore, Miss Abby, also stated that, "Judge Twinkie was not only flagrant and frequent in her solicitation of bribes, but she actually conducted a FIVE-part seminar on bribery to guide the contestants in her Insane Cracker Dog category [January 13, 14, 16, 17 and 22]." How dare she, when the entire animal blogdom knows for a fact that Judge Twink was sequestered, therefore having a bulletproof alibi during the aforementioned dates!
Miss Abby proceeds to state that, "As a result of Judge Twinkie's casual relationship with judicial ethics, her category engendered by far the most elaborate and highest number of bribe offers from contestants. " Thereby admitting that Judge Twinkie was successful at her duties.
Finally, Miss Abby stated that, "Judge Twinkie was offered, inter alia, three luxury vacations [a month long spa vacation in B.C. by Sam; a relaxing beach vacation in FL by Sadie; and an exotic beach vacation in Malaysia by Eva], as well as a plane ticket to a presumably fun filled locale in Mexico by Uncle Puppy. ".  NOOOOOT!

G2G now. My jaccuzzi tub is calling my name. 

From the exotic beaches of Malaysia
Judge Twinkie



*Note: It's been a pleasure working with all of you judges, contestants, guardians, and participants' pawrents. My thanks to all and especially to Mango Momma for causing us all to BOL and LOL with her witty observations and colorful emails.

Fondly

"Judge Twink"

9 comments:

ocmist said...

Well, Twinkie... looks like you "worked hard," so that now you can "hardly work!" Twinkie, sounds like you've got Abby chasing her own tail! LOL The CCC

Mango said...

Miss Twinkie,
I will vouch for your whereabouts during the show. I am sure you were hard at work in the basement. Well, at least during the hour of the day that I was actually awake. As for the rest, you're on your on.

Slobbers,
Mango

Frankie Furter said...

I KNOW fur a FACT
that you were a
Class ACT!!

Butt that Judgy picture STILL scares me.

Soooooo now that you have finished those duties.. will you be starting up your Advice Column again. I really miss that!!

brooke said...

I say shenanigans happening on Judge Twink's blog must have been the doing of puppy Pedro, who would have had free reign of Twinkie's blog while she was sequestered with the other judges. :)

Rudy - The dog with a blog said...

We thinks you were a very good judge, but that picture gives me the shivers...

Wild Dingo said...

hey, i think you were just doing right by the crackers... you know, if they don't have something to think about, such as creative bribes, who KNOWS what kind of crackery they could have cooked up and to WHOM? Oh dog! i have the heebie jeebies just thinkin' about it...

crackers are scariest of all and you took control of them by giving them something to do... my congratulations!

(besides, we hate ethics...)
wild dingo

Oskar said...

Very interesting!

You did a great job.

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

Benny and Lily said...

We know you were working Twinkerson
Snuggles,
Benny & Lily

Charlie said...

That Abby sure can write, but I think you closed the case well!

Way to go, oh fairest of the fair.

- Charlie

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