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Saturday, March 6, 2010

A Whole Lotta Tooting Going On

A uniquely disturbing aroma has been cutting through our breathing air in  my home, recently. At first, we blamed it on the skunk family that lives under out hot tub, wrong! Then on the mold that bloomed after our house flooded (I'll spare you those photos), but it just didn't seem right either. The assaults were potent and they hit in waves, randomly but consistently.

Just yesterday, Frankie, Linguini, and I were passed out on the lawn taking in every ray of the sun in anticipation of a rather stormy weekend when M (think James Bond), decided to join us. She got her supplies (coffee cup and camera) and came outside. Aaaah, she stretched and smiled at us. But then her expression changed and she startled us all by jumping up and down, spilling her coffee, and yelling, "AHA! I finally figured it out!" Huh? We all stared at her clueless and annoyed by the interruption, plus she was being disruptive.

This is what got M all worked up

Frankie who doesn't know to stay out of M's way when she's agitated, went to investigate

I knew then that we were all busted. We had all been secretly visiting a remote part of our yard enjoying fresh fruit off our trees for days, but we had been discreet about it. I had warned Frankie to hide hers better, but she's only a baby after-all, I can't expect much from her. Poor M, now that I think about it, she must be suffering. Linguini spends most of her day right by her side, sleeping and tooting. I spend much time in her arms, tooting quietly. As for Frankie, you know how she sleeps!

Need I say more?
Actually I want to say one more thing about Frankie's sleeping habits because it's the only time of the day this chiweenie exhibits any signs of dog intelligence. 

I don't have a photo, so I'm going to ask you to use your imagination.
Imagine me being Frankie. Okay?
Now, imagine my head being Frankie's other end.
One last visualization: think of M's head on that pillow right next to Frankie's rear.
Mind you, Frankie only sticks her duster out of the cover after she's tooted. You understand now why I think she maybe smart after all?

I apologize for the dirty post, but I felt it was necessary. I was hoping it might be helpful to some of--especially if you have access to citrus fruit.



Martine said...

Thank you for sharing your tooting stories! We agree that Frankie is very very intelligent, she wants to spare everyone a dutch oven situation!!

xo martine & the kiddlets

Frankie Furter said...

Furst, let us be clear about one thingy. We are discussing Frankie Bratwurst, NOT Frankie Furter. OK?? Not that I can't hold my own in a pharrrrrting contest with my dad. That is when he and I start a rousing "Blame Game" tournament.
At least you all got away with this one, for a while.
It must be wonderful to have fresh fruit in your yard at this time of year. You should explain to M that you are just making sure you have enough fiber and Vit. C in your diet. I'm just sayin'.

Jazzi said...

Oh Frankie
That was so funny!! Being by myself, I have no one to blame the tootin stuff on lol


houndstooth said...

We like to play the guess who cut the cheese game with Mom and Dad! I laughed so hard I slipped off the couch when I got the visualization part! I knew Frankie was a genius! I am so trying that trick!


Stella, Gunther and Betty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Oh that Frankie! She IS a smart one! Here's a secret. Brudder Ranger hardly toots at all. But I'm practically a whole orchestra with my toots. One time not long after I moved here, I tooted so loud that it skeered me AND Brudder Ranger. He ran and hid behind dad and I turned around to stare at my Most Loud Rear-End.

Oh, and that was a very nice re-enactment using your head in place of Frankie's butt.

Wiggles & Wags,

Ina in Alaska said...

When Toby toots everyone runs outside for fresh air!!! xoxo

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

What a great post Twinkie.. Now we know why mom spilled her coffee.. We don't have any of that yummy fruit but it sure looks tasty. As for Frankie you are right just a pup he will learn real soon how to hide the evidence..
Great sleeping shot though...

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Asta said...

That was a vewy helpful post fow those doggies ovewindulging inthose fwuitses.
thank you fow the giggles too..mommi needs them.
btw, come by my bloggie to see youwself and Fwankie on the slope sin the fwench alps...mack and sally Ann asked me to post my photos
smoochie kisses

Benny and Lily said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Benny and Lily said...

Oh my...BOL...hysterical...looks like that fruit had a reverse effect on you Twink...BOL
Benny & Lily

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

This was khwite an edukhational post!

Thank woo furry much!

Khyra & Khousin Merdie

Niamh said...

Ambrose had quite the problem for awhile. The smells emanating from his rear almost caused me to faint. We changed his diet and now all is much better. We will not be letting him near any fruit!

Your friends,
Niamh & Ambrose

GonetoTheSnowDogs said...

Shiloh toots something fierce whenever she eats food she can't have! She is a sneaky girl too!

Woo Woooo
Shiloh, Shelby, and their Mom!

Lorenza said...

Now that we are reading your post, my mom remembers once I did the same to her! She was awaken by a strong smell... and she knew what had happend when she saw my butt soooo close to her face!
You all are very lucky having your fresh fruits there in your yard!
Kisses and hugs

Oskar said...

This is one funny story!

Sagira said...

Your tooting stories are very funny. Frankie is one smart pup and love the way Frankie sleeps, too cute

Anonymous said...

hahahaha! we like dirty! (starts 3rd pict down)...

Notice the CHI next to Juno. That's Louie. She and Loki are in SAR training together. She ROCKS SAR (she's better than Loki, for reals). And oddly she's MAD for Loki and Loki LOOOVES her! how weird that my dogs love little dogs. (juno has rat terrier and white toy poodle boyfriends)

Mango said...

Nothing wrong with expressing yourself out your back end. I do it all the time.

Last night we had boiled chicken for din din. Oh baby! Boiled chicken farts. Sweet!


Bijou said...

Hi Twink,
BOL at you all eating the fruit and then stinking up the place. Good job!

My farts always smell like roses. Banjo's farts smell like rotten eggs. He toots alot too. Specially when I'm under the bed covers with him! I think he and Frankie are just alike.

kissa-bull said...

oh frankie love
for a moment there i thought bella had sneaked off to you twinkie estate to come to visit you
bella does the frankie to mommish most every night

pibble sugars and wee wags
the houston pittie pack

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

You are too too toot funny!! Who knew fruit would do that?? Not us!
BabyRocketDog and Hootie

ps-The sleeping picture of Frankie is really disturbing! She looks like a monkeybutt!!!

Two Country Poodles said...

We had a gas...BOL...reading this. Who doesn't love a good toot now and then...especially when you are laying on your pawrent pillow...BOL

Wags and Licks,
Mollie Jo & Bobo & Foster Sibling Maggie Mae

Dip-Dip and The Bridge said...

Oh dear! Try not to toot too much or your mum might pass out.
That photo of Frankie sleeping so hilarious!
Wags, Dip Bridge and Elliot xx

K9friend said...

To toot or not to toot is never a question at our house. Nor is the opportunity to blame it on the dog!

Nadine said...


Waggles & Chi kisses, Chewy & Lilibell

Dory and the Mama said...

Twinkie thank you so much for sharing your tooting experiences. It lets me know what to be on the look out for!!


parlance said...

They were eating citrus fruit????

Now I have to worry about Penny eating our mandarins and lemons? Surely not! They were the only crops I thought I didn't have to worry about.

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