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Friday, January 14, 2011

Bribery Is NOT A Form Of Corruption

Who cares about Linguini's (my ailing senior dog sister) health update,  Pedro's (my chihuahua puppy step-bro) shenanigans, or Frankie's birthday (the brindle chiweenie's arbitrary barkday is today) when there are pawesome bribes to be had. 


I just want you all to remember that you have been warned (yesterday)

I'm ready to announce the first runner up and potential winner of the category I'm judging.

Insane Cracker Dogs BEWARE

There's a tough competitor among you.

No, Phantom, Thunder and Ciara, it's not Pedrito the tiny terrorista--although the thought did cross my mind. After lengthy deliberations, I decided that if Pedro was part of the actual competition I'd have to recuse myself for lack of impartiality.

No, Buffy. Posting about my children's book is not an official bribe. I have lots of spares lying around my home, ugh.

Yes, dearest comedian furiends, Benny and Lily. Feel free to keep up with the crazy talk and don't forget to send your virtual bribes to me asap (even though you're not in my category BOL).

Not sure about your comment, Ms Lola Pei. If you can beat the bid for best bribe, feel free to enter this category instead of the diva one (although we all know you are shameless!).
And btw, I'm sorry I didn't hear you were having the sickies before today. I'm glad you're all better!

NO dearest ol' furiend, Frankie Furter, the monogamous dog. There will be NO BRIDES on this blog. I like to keep my options open. I do love your new white dreadlocks however, ehem, your honor (BOL). 
PS Let us know if you need a breathing apparatus

And NOW, the moment you've all been waiting for. 
Proud to announce the MANGO MINSTER 2011 first runners up in the INSANE CRACKER DOG category are:


WHY?
Because I said so!


Because I'm the judge.

Because I have taken an oath to NOT be impartial NOR fair . . .

. . . along with the fact that Sam and Pippen came up with the best bribe so far  * and then they threw in a heated dog bed for good measure. That's why!

*click and learn

Twinkie V. Twinkerson

United Pet Blogdom District Judge



10 comments:

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Wow. I'm going to make sure that the Bad Sports see this, because I have not yet received ANY bribes. I thought Bad Sports were supposed to be all about the bribery.... *sigh*

*kissey face*
-Fiona, the as of yet unbribed judge...

Lorenza said...

Oh....oh!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

While Your Honor is noted for her sense of humor, Abby, as the self-appointed Enforcer of Judicial Ethics for Mango Minster, has to remind Your Honor that even joking about taking bribes is skating on thin ice. Your Honor would not want to be hauled up before the Canine Judicial Infirmities Commission and defrocked - er, decommissioned - in short, kicked off the bench, now would Your Honor?

Respectfully looking after Your Honor's best interests,

Jed & Abby the Enforcer

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

PeeEss: We're sure Your Honor mistyped when she dangled BRIDES instead of bribes in front of Mr. Justice Frankie Furter in a joking attempt to suborn corruption. Your Honor would not want to be charged with doggie trafficking on top of all the other potential charges, would Your Honor?

Jed & Abby the Enforcer

Maggie and Mitch said...

A heated dog bed sounds wonderful this time of year! Nice goin', Sam and Pippen *wink wink*

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Mango said...

Now Twinkie, I have no doubt that the other crackers will come up with bribes to match Sam. After all,they have three more weeks.

Slobbers,
Mango

Frankie Furter said...

HAPPY BIRFDAY TO FRANKIE!!!!


NOW... Twinkie... I am NOT gonna EVER listen to you again. You Pawmised me that Peanut Butter would work just as well as that
Kentucky Jelly. Trust me... that Roller thingy did not just slip right in. Liar Liar ... Furs on Fire. Now Anakin is complaining that his Peanut Butter snacks don't taste right. I'm gonna let you explain this mess to my Wives!!!
At least I now know that the word is BRIBE... not BriDe. I was wondering why You were wanting BriDes. hehehe

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Happy birthday to the Chiweenie from all of us. We would really love to get an update on Linguini - how is the dear gal doing? And if we were in the contest, Mom says she would allow M to have a few of the grandbipeds for as long as she wanted:)

Sam and Pippen really know the way to your heart - or is that to your vote:)

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Benny and Lily said...

What? Bribes...bribes are NOT allowed in this contest, but we will freshin up your black robe and polish your gavel, for FREE.
Benny & Lily

Charlie said...

Ms. Twinkie, don't rush to judgement! Perhaps we could go out for a bowl of Thirsty Dog and discuss the matter? Or better yet a pug crawl??
- Charlie

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