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Saturday, February 5, 2011

Attention Insane Cracker Dogs | Part Five


The honorable Judge Twink presiding
You may sit or lie down.
Please, no pee-mail inside the courtroom.
Scoring of the LAST of the
 INSANE CRACKER DOG CATEGORY entries in

Warning:
Scoring rules may change at any time based on my SOLE discretion
Best possible score: 5
Worst possible score: -5
Extra points are in units and are based on bribes

Contestant #15

Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
5p for a pawesome post full of unique cracker dog moments
5p for not making me have to translate it
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p Overall reaction. 
Level of Destruction
20p for excellent demolitions
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
+2 being bilingual
Bribes
Now, you're putting me in a tough position. Tsk tsk.

Contestant #16
Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
10p for your "masterpiece"
5p for going down the slides
10p for crrrazy cracker videos
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p Because you left me out of breath
Level of Destruction
6p and a couple of yummy dog treats
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
+8.5p because I really enjoyed the computer video
Bribe
1 billion points for offering me your auntie's homemade dog treats!

Contestant #17
Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
5p for pawesome counter jumpin' technique
20p for Saltine shot
50p for most appropriate response during bath time
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
50p because there wasn't a single shot in which all 4 paws were on the ground
Level of Destruction
4p there's room for improvement
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
+3 for entering the appropriate category
Bribe
-5 mill points. Why? Because you sent Pedro on a date with Mango instead of ME

Contestant #18

Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
15p because you ARE three cracker doggies
10p both for being brave and participating and for picking the right category.
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p for the digging
+1p for digging just for the fun of it
Level of Destruction
10p for being pawesome shredders!!!
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
+20 for eating a remote control. I detest remote controls myself
Bribes
+30,000 for calling me the "greatest" Teacup Chihuahua in blogville
-30,000 for calling me the "greatest" Teacup Chihuahua in blogville. You should have said "dog" and/or "diva".


Contestants #19


Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
5p because I appreciate how short yet to the point your post was
5p for the happy ending
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p extra for additional post
Level of Destruction
10p for being feared
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
-2 for eating only one side of the scarf--according to the evidence
Bribes
Lots and lots of bribe points for referring to me as "brilliant" and "a genius"!

Contestant #20

Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
5p for being natural born terriers, aka crackers!
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p for lots of digging
10 for hunting shots
Level of Destruction
10p only (I would have given you 100p) for preparing to destroy the bookcase, but not showing the after shot.
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
-20 for wearing a pink bow
Bribes
What's up with you two? You don't want any extra points?


Court is adjourned for good

MAY THE BEST BRIBER WIN

Twinkie V. Twinkerson

United Pet Blogdom UNBIASED District Judge

10 comments:

JackDaddy said...

Oh, this is hard. They all look pretty cracker to me!

Oskar said...

Have I mentioned lately how handsome you look in your robes!

Very distinguished.

Your faithful friend,
Oskar

Deborah said...

Go Judge Twinkie!!!
xxoo
Deborah

Frankie Furter said...

Howls Come I never got points fur saying you are the Grrreatest T.C. in Blogville????

Mango said...

Brilliant! Excellent judging. Sorry about the whole Twinkie / Pedro thing. Admit it, you are kind of butch.

Slobbers,
mango

Santa, Minnie and Christmas said...

Oh, your Honor, you are BRILLIANT and a GENIUS. You are the greatest DIVA in Blogville!!

Judge Twinkie, do I get extra points for that?! Huh, do I?

The Boston Lady said...

Since we are beggin for extra points Twinkie, just know that I am probably the only cracker dog who can offer ya a warm place to crash here in FL. Great competition with much worthy contestants. Your loyal cracker, Sadie

Charlie said...

Woah, some truly tough competitors!
- Charlie

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Yikes Twink you are really a tough judge. We had a feeling you were going to be open to bribery you little scamp!!
Smooches,
BabyRD and Hootie

HoundDogMom said...

Greatest" Teacup Chihuahua/DIVA. We are pretty new at all this Mango Minster entries, we will get the hang of it. Competetion is going to be tough in this category. Do you like Peanut Butter Pup-Cakes? And we do appreciate your great review of our Insane Cracker Dog entry. We have more proof we are Cracker Dogs. Sniffs, The HoundDogs

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