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Friday, February 4, 2011

Attention Insane Cracker Dogs | Part Four


The honorable Judge Twink presiding
You may sit or lie down.
Please, no pee-mail inside the courtroom.
More preliminary scoring of
 INSANE CRACKER DOG CATEGORY entries in

Warning:
Scoring rules may change at any time based on my SOLE discretion
Best possible score: 5
Worst possible score: -5
Extra points are in units and are based on bribes

Contestant #9

Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
5p for her nickname (Ms Patti-Wackit)
5p because your video of Alex and you is one of my favorites
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p Overall reaction
-1p I had to deduct a point because the video could have been longer
Level of Destruction
4p for harassing Gracie. I would have given you a 5 but you just HAD to use that cute non destructive shot out of vanity.
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
+2 for cussing out Blogger
Bribes
You get a bunch of extra points for a job well done. Your update post touched me deeply, especially the part about our furiends leaving me love notes about you.
I'm also going to deduct about 25, 000 points too though. I didn't like the part about your sister's turds weighing as much as I do.

Contestant #10
Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
5p for terrorizing the resident cats
5p for digging in your bed and your shredding skills
5p for crrrazy zoomie video
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p Overall reaction
Level of Destruction
6p and a pat on the back
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
+3 additional for messing with the kitteh
Bribe
I think you need to work some more on that.


Contestant #11
Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
5p for cracking me up, a must for all cracker dogs
5p for cracker shot
5p for the cracker/zoom combo
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p for high energy videos
Level of Destruction
4p there's room for improvement
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
+3 for being  "gen-u-whine"
Bribe
I could use some of your crackers


Contestant #12

Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
5p because you ARE crackers
5p really, you ARE!
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p for a pawesome post
+1p for being a long time pal
Level of Destruction
10p for being destructive every day of your life
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
+2 for being my furiend
Bribes
Pal, ol' furiend, what can I say? I'm going to give you about 5 million points for stopping by to say howdy to me, while still maintaining your personal blog aaand your pawesome
PBU one, where we can all have fun.


Contestants #13


Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
5p because you ARE both insane
5p for demolishing the Christmas tree
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p for a post well done
Level of Destruction
10p for being so good at it. I'm impressed my furiends!
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
+2 for being too smart and demanding a real chicken to work in agility
Bribes
I think that your post made the Mango happy because you proved the labradork nuttiness. What can I say? If the Mango is pleased, I shall honor you with lots of bribe points.

Contestant #14

Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
5p OMD you are so crackers!
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p!!! I got tired just from reading about your mischief!
10 bonus points for using appropriate photos, so I don't have to read about your mischief!
Level of Destruction
10p for being completely and utterly frustrated and figuring out proper ways to channel that energy. My warm congratulations
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
+2 for being my furiend for a looong time now.
Bribes
If you want more points, you know what to do. As for offering me a date . . . and calling me the love of your life . . . I'm not falling for that one.


Court is adjourned for the day

TT4N

Twinkie V. Twinkerson

United Pet Blogdom District Judge

15 comments:

Charlie said...

OMD - who knew there were so many other cracker dogs in the world?!
- Charlie

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

So we are starting to think that Cracker Dog is the new breed of the year!!!

Koda, we love you.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

HoundDogMom said...

Competition is going to be tough for this category. But we thinks the Hound Dogs are pretty insane. We can't wait for our review. The HoundDogs

Benny and Lily said...

Nice... bribes are expected!
Benny & Lily

Oskar said...

Excellent judging, I must say. I am one true cracker dog!

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

OMD...the competition is frankly, CRACKERS!!!!!

Who knew how nuts a visible section of the canine world is???

Now Twink...I am so glad you have gotten over the gender issues...

As for bribes...hmm...Lacie is pondering....

DO YOU LIKE CAKE? WITH PEANUT BUTTER FROSTING???

Khisses,

Miss Lacie Teacakes

Sheila and Bob said...

Hooray for Patti-Whackit.



Hamish & Sophie

The Bumpass Hounds said...

Hey Your Honor/Highness,
We think that Contestant #9, Patti Whackit, looks like the world's most Insane Cracker Dog. She just looks like a totally unstable canine; we wouldn't trust her anywhere near a cat, gerbil, squirrel or madium to small dog. She also seems like a shady character in general. We think you should give her considerable consideration over and above all other contestants in this category, PLEASE. Something tells us that she can make life miserable for lots of other dogs and cats if she doesn't win - REALLY.
- Anonymous Group of Dogs and Cats

Mango said...

Beware of any bribes from the Lacie Beast. I hear she is harboring a decapitated rodent.

Slobbers,
Mango

Santa, Minnie and Christmas said...

Your Honor, I know you have a tough job here and you have been working very hard. You have been very FAIR with your judging. I have got some very good food for you as I think you REALLY deserve them. Please come!!

- Minnie at http://santa-ms.blogspot.com/2011/02/for-honorable-judge-twinkie.html

The Boston Lady said...

My mom's asleep so I was able to get on the computer and even tho he's a competitor, I say Roscoe looks darn Cracker by my standards, which many will say is nil. Nevertheless, as my mom says, Cracker is as Cracker does. Your humble contender, Sadie. PEEE.S Roscoe, pls send me your PEEEmail!

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

Your Honor has an organized and more or less consistent standard of judging which affords basic fairness to all contestants in the Cracker Dog category. Due to sheer volume of infringements, Abby has decided to ignore bribes with a cash value of less than $50 on the premise that no judge would REALLY sell his or her immortal soul for so paltry sum. Always nice to see a judge hard at work!

Jed & Abby, L.B.E., Official Guardian of Judicial Ethics for Mango Minster 2011

JackDaddy said...

Well I think they all should win!!

Roo said...

Dear Judge Twinkie,

Your bribe is on its way! I have emptied out my entire pantry for your heinous er Highness (sp) ? ;) self.

I have included gourmet cheese for your sampling pleasure (gruyer - my fav, havarti - a nice change of flavors, gouda - because it is, and a wee bit of feta with sliced olives to top it off) If this does not meet with your satisfaction (to the point of awarding me #1 Cracker Dog) then please let me know. My slave (er Mom) will zoom back to the market and Fedex over your ultimate delicacies :D

Waggin at ya,
Roo

Mr Koda MD said...

Aw Twinks! I am still your good friend, even if I have cracker moments! If you look closely the renovations on my house are actually more useful, however I fear I didn't make it look professional enough for the usefulness to cover the dire need to destroy.

Oh dear.

So, cash or cheque for bribes? I can supply you a selection of half chewed chewbones or the cuttings from my house, some fresh salad from my poofield lawns... or or or something!

However, Judge Twinkerson you are doing a fantastical job, a bunch of cracker dogs can't be easy to manage!

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