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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Dear Twinkie | A Dog Advice Column

A Dog Advice Column


Hi my friends,

First let my Mommy say how thankful she is for your Mom's comments. Mommy is just a scaredy cat and it helps to know your Mom understands how she feels.

Since we haven't been around much we have been catching up on what we've missed from your blog. Mommy loves your post from last Sunday. Just looking at all those rescued dogs made Mommy feel so good that there are folks like your Mommy helping dogs. The3re is nothing as rewarding in lfe as far as we are concerned. We saw a pic on that post Mommy would like to us, if its ok. It was of a bunch of dggies standing in line for treats.

We you you guys.

I have a queation that I need Twink's advise on. "Do you think my Tiger will still love me with some of my furs gone and what can I do to look attractive again?

{{{huggies}}}...Mona
TVT: Dearest Mona, first off, happy happy recuperation! I'm so glad you're finally recovering and enjoying a little freedom. Feel free to grab the photo you want. Rescue dogs love to be featured. Plus, I just grabbed yours. See? 
Frankie Mi Ricca
About your question, are you serious? We are talking about the Kissa-bull Tiger, n'est-ce pas? My sweet insecure friend, we're talking about a pack of integrity here. Kissa-bull as a whole is reliable, consistent, ethical and definitely not superficial. Tiger is out of his mind with worry. The entire pack is sending their good thoughts and prayers to "Tiger's love, Mona" and their mommins ish lighting a shpecial candle as they pray furry hard. As for your looks, I think the above photo proves you don't need to do anything further. We love you the way you are. 
kissa-bull asks...
oh twinkie maria conchita
have you efur thought about having your own talk show since you are furry much good at this advice thing.maybe even a late night show too . and could we be your first guests we promise NOT to toot

pibble wiggles
the pittie pack
TVT: I am in negotiations with America's Funniest Home Videos at the moment, and because this coincides with Norwood's Pawdance Film Festival, I feel there is hope for me, since one of my video clips is featured on his site. I cannot think of a more jovial mismatched group to invite as my first guests. I also think the tooting will enhance the experience, so pretty please, load up on beans before the taping of our pilot. In the meantime, as you can see from Mona's question, I work for woo!
The festival officially started yesterday

Wooos Twinkie! That is all some fabulous advice woo give I am much impressed. You are quite the smart little doggie aren't woo?
~husky kisses~
-Kira The BeaWootiful
TVT: I am smart enough to know that you are beawootiful, and caring, and a good friend. I would like to take this opportunity to wish a happy birthday to your mommy. 
Beautiful seafarer
Sonic asks...
Oh wow! I didn't know you had an advice column! When is the next one coming up? I wanna ask a question too!

Sonic
TVT: Aye, aye, aye, Sonic! Wake up and smell the socks, buddy. I guess I have to stop by to send you a personal invitation to my dog advice column. Perhaps your iphone and your google reader are both acting up. BTW speaking about your iPhone issue, since iPhoto works, plug your iPhone, go to the Photos tab and at the top, right next to Sync Photos from, select the folder of your choice. Do a sync and you're done!
No further comment
Twink, no happy birthday cake on your birthday?? We think that M should contact Mom for her cake recipe that she makes us every year for our birthday, it's super delicious, and has no sugar in it. Why, even Dad said it was good! And if she still won't bake you a happy birthday cake, then you can come to our house and Mom will bake you a cake and we can all celebrate together!

Waggles & Chi kisses, Chewy & Lilibell
TVT: Nope, no birthday cake for me yet. Now, I have my hopes up, not that M will actually bake for me, but that your mom will. I'm ready to celebrate. I'm packing my bags.
Feel free to have the cake ready when I arrive
Cocorue asks...
We LOVE You TwinkTwink!!!

we have not laughed this much in the past two weeks as we have Not been blogging - ask Her why!
her excuses will make you puke!!!

i have an observation and want your take on this:
i listen and understand mumster's speech BUTT she looks dense when I Speak to her......and she's Not the only one....Most hoomans look stupid


Do you think WE ARE smarter than the hoomans??? Why did God Not Smarten them up before they became nuisances???

love you lots
Coco
Display of intelligence
TVT: Yes, I believe it is a scientifically proven fact that we are way smarter than hoomans. And that's not all we have on them. For starters, we're smart enough to use all four (three) of our legs, while they have to support their weight on two only (notice how many hoomans have sore backs?). For another, you and Tiffy spent two weeks playing and gossiping while your momma was trying to use her hooman intelligence to fix a computer. This proves you also make better use of your time. God probably didn't smarten hoomans up because they were prototypes, first generation, and usually those are lemons.
Another great advice column Twinkie!!

I have a question for your next column...There is a certain Lhasa in my life whose name USED to be Tank..he SAYS he has lost his memory...do you think that maybe he is just looking for another girlfriend???

Smileys!
Dory
TVT: I love being the bearer of good tidings. As of today, drumroll, Tank's identity crisis is over. His memory has been restored. It wasn't personal. It was a gross misunderstanding caused by blog comments and a ferocious lion. Feel free to make contact again. Hurry before he forgets you.  
You should be getting more love letters from Tank soon
So Twink
Here is a question for next your next column.
When do you do your research, what are your sources and do you have a library card?

Mom and I cackled at your comment on our blog...we know you love us 'cause you pick on us...too funny.
Thanks for the smile.
Madi and Mom
TVT: My main resources are my Google Reader, blogspot, and WordPress. I think Frankie, the chiweenie, will be getting a library card before I do, since she's contemplating becoming a service dog. As for the "love you 'cause I pick on you" comment, big mistake. I see you have listed 7 things about you on your bloggy today and . . . I can't pass on the opportunity. I'm on my way to tea, tea, tease you!
Proof that Madi is easy to make fun of
Now go take on the day!
Twinkie

24 comments:

Toby- The dog with a blog said...

Oh what great advice Twinkie, keep up the great work.
You are one smarty paws!

Ina in Alaska said...

Thank you Miss Twinky Twinkerbelle Dolce Gabana Versace Prada Ferragamo for all of your fabuloso advice.

Do you have a queso fountain at your house or do you eat your squirty cheese sprayed from a can directly into your mouth like we do up here in Alaska (and also in Master-Chew Sits)? Your fans, Toby, Ginger and Jeter.

Halle will have no such nonsense and will only eat fresh French Brie served with a special sterling silver cheese knife, spoiled bratty Jersey Girl that she is....

Remington said...

What great advice, Twinkie!

Lola said...

Oh, Twinkie, today's was an especially insightful column. I especially appreciated the part about humans being prototypes. It explains so much. Can't wait until the next column!

wags, Lola

mayziegal said...

Hi Twinkie Twink Twink!

A Most Great column today, as always! You have a whole lotta brains in that l'il head, that's for sure!

Okay, my question today is about baths. Do you thinks baths are really truly necessary? So far I've managed to con...um, I mean...convince my mom that my brindle furs will wash away down the drain and I will go into a catatonic state should she ever decide to gives me a bath. Besides I always try to roll in the most fragrant thing I can find so I know I smell GOOD. But I overheard her saying something to my dad about maybe giving it a try. (GULP!) So I just thought I'd ask you what you thought?

Wiggles & Wags,
Mayzie

BRUTUS said...

So full of great advice. Proof that wisdome & size are certainly not related! Speaking of which, maybe you can help our dilemma... Flat Brutus is AWOL in Singapore. He was last seen at the Musketeers, and I haven't been able to get in touch with them in a few weeks (hope they are OK). Coco & Sonic- both of whom you posted about today - are each anxiously awaiting his visit.. Any advice on how I can reconnect with our wayward international Flat Brutus?

Thanks for the consideration, oh wise one!
Snorts- Brutus the Frenchie

K9friend said...

Sounds like that tv show pilot will be a sure ratings hit!

Pat
www.critteralley.blogspot.com

JackDaddy said...

The tall guy said I can't be on your tv show, because I don't know how to behave yet! :)

Sagira said...

Another great advice column Twinkie!

Mack and Sally Ann said...

Dear Twinkie,
Your advice is great. I have two questions for you:
What is the best way to get Mommy's attention when she is taking care of your brother?

What is the best way to get your big brother to play with you when he won't?

Sally Ann

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Why we love the Twink - sweetness and sassiness and spunk and sugar all rolled into one. Great column!!!

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Benny and Lily said...

Oh Twinkie Carlota Maria Consuela thank you for sharing all your thoughts
Benny & Lily

Cocorue said...

TwinkTwink.....YOU are the Smartie hands down!

we are soooo reliant on you now; what will we do without you??????? i know some hoomans may Not want you around as you Are too smart for them....

now Tiffy is imitating mumster as both are on their backs with their paws/feet in the air.....maybe they are BOTH beginning to understand HUMOUR bol!!!

chikisses
coco

Dory and the Mama said...

Thanks so much for the great advice Twinkie, you ROCK!!


Smileys!
Dory

The Thundering Herd said...

Every week, we read your column and think we should ask a question. But every week we come up empty. How do you suggest we come up with a question?

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Ha!

The Herd is showing their Siberian Smarts!

I love it!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Lorenza said...

Hi, Twinkie!
Sure I love your advices.
The one for Sonic made me laugh a lot!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Mr Koda MD said...

Beans beans the musical fruit
the more you eat, the more you toot
the more you toot, the better you feel
beans beans for every meal!

I think your talk show will be a real "toot" with those pittie pack funballs!

Koda

Madi and Mom said...

Twinkie
Great advice to all...we can see you take your job seriously striving for perfection each day. We love how you love us gives us a warm tingly feeling!!! :-)!!!

Note was made of the fact that you recognized my greatness as a Cat in your comment on my blog yesterday.The grandfather clock wrap was a proud moment in my life. Mom didn't even tell everyone about the time I tore up the wood frame around the door..this incident required new molding....can you say part dog?
Madi and Mom

3 doxies said...

Oh my golly, Twinkletoes...you is one chiwawa full of smarticals. I am very much flabbergasted at your intelligence.
My mum is acting like an idiot and can't stop laughing.
Puddles
pees: your mom has a package in da mail and will be there in bout 2 days okay, okay!

Hank said...

Uh....Miss (uh) Van Twinkerson (if that IS yer real name)......I gotta question. Is it possible that my sister Molly really IS goin' deaf or is she just ignorin' us? An' if she is goin' deaf, does that mean I haftuh be nicer to her?

kissa-bull said...

dearest twinkie twinkerson
you are just so full of the smarticles and we furry much blush at your kind compliments of our pack. we all got wiggley reading your kind words. wise . and bewootiful what more can anyone ask for??

blushing pibbles
the pittie pack

Martine said...

Captain crunch here, Twink:

I'm a little over a year old and already suffer from premature balding.... I just realized I've started to go grey as well!! Can you believe it? I'm a little vain and want to know what I should do... I could ask my mom to pluck the few grey furs or ask her to get me just for men or should I just embrace my new colored furs??? HELP !

Woof,
Caps

the booker man said...

grrreat advices as usual, miss twinkie!! so now that you are like super duper famous and everybuddy wants your pawtograph and a photo op with you, do you have a most muscley boy doggie to escort you and make sure you don't get overwhelmed by your fans??
*woof*
the booker man

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