Twinkie Tiny Dog | Teacup Chihuahua

Friday, January 14, 2011

Bribery Is NOT A Form Of Corruption

Who cares about Linguini's (my ailing senior dog sister) health update, Pedro's (my chihuahua puppy step-bro) shenanigans, or Frankie's birthday (the brindle chiweenie's arbitrary barkday is today) when there are pawesome bribes to be had.

I just want you all to remember that you have been warned (yesterday)

I'm ready to announce the first runner up and potential winner of the category I'm judging.

Insane Cracker Dogs BEWARE

There's a tough competitor among you.

No, Phantom, Thunder and Ciara, it's not Pedrito the tiny terrorista--although the thought did cross my mind. After lengthy deliberations, I decided that if Pedro was part of the actual competition I'd have to recuse myself for lack of impartiality.

No, Buffy. Posting about my children's book is not an official bribe. I have lots of spares lying around my home, ugh.

Yes, dearest comedian furiends, Benny and Lily. Feel free to keep up with the crazy talk and don't forget to send your virtual bribes to me asap (even though you're not in my category BOL).

Not sure about your comment, Ms Lola Pei. If you can beat the bid for best bribe, feel free to enter this category instead of the diva one (although we all know you are shameless!).

And btw, I'm sorry I didn't hear you were having the sickies before today. I'm glad you're all better!

NO dearest ol' furiend, Frankie Furter, the monogamous dog. There will be NO BRIDES on this blog. I like to keep my options open. I do love your new white dreadlocks however, ehem, your honor (BOL).

PS Let us know if you need a breathing apparatus

And NOW, the moment you've all been waiting for.

Proud to announce the MANGO MINSTER 2011 first runners up in the INSANE CRACKER DOG category are:

Sam and Pippen!!!

WHY?

Because I said so!

Because I'm the judge.

Because I have taken an oath to NOT be impartial NOR fair . . .

. . . along with the fact that Sam and Pippen came up with the best bribe so far * and then they threw in a heated dog bed for good measure. That's why!

*click and learn

Twinkie V. Twinkerson

United Pet Blogdom District Judge

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Attention All Insane Cracker Dogs

The honorable Judge Twink presiding

I hope you're all getting you entries ready for Mango Minster 2011

I promise to be "gentle" (evil bol)

NEW RULES

I have been provoked by the Relentlessly Huge and I must admit, he knows exactly which buttons to push, therefore (this is top secret), let me give you a piece of my mind.

Where I stand on BRIBES:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Bribes are sweet

Send them care of The Twink

Clarification

All bribes are final. No take backs. All bribes must also be cyber-bribes. If you use my pee-mail, I shall hunt you down and mail you:

THIS to your home address.

Any questions?

Twinkie V. Twinkerson

United Pet Blogdom District Judge

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

You're Going to Wish You Weren't an Insane Cracker Dog!

It's time for Mango Minster 2011--oh yeah--and for me to redeem myself.

In total juxtaposition to the drunken cervesa-gulping chihuahua you had gotten used to during Mango Minster 2010, I shall hereto be referred to as "Judge Twink" or simply "Your Honor". Based on loads of recent experience (the adoption of my baby bro Pedrito), it is most appropriate that I be the judge of the infamous yet crowd pleasing Insane Cracker Dog category.

If you lose your way, you can get to Mango Minster 2011 by clicking HERE

or on the sidebar badge.

May the wackiest doggie win. I promise I will NOT be impartial, hold back, be patient, self-disciplined, or maintain proper judicial temperament. We're going to par-tay!

Twinkie V. Twinkerson

United Pet Blogdom District Judge