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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Surprise Advice

I bet you've all received something in the mail that made your heart skip a beat. I get tons of mail like that. The other day I opened an email from somebody wanting to give me 5 million dollars! Another time, a lady who was old and had no family wanted to give me her estate. Wonderful strangers chose me to offer their drugs to. Heck, one time I even won the Australian International Sweepstakes.
Among those emails I received a note from Stella's World. At first, I though it was SPAM. I had been leaving notes for Ali Zophia all over blogland trying to get her attention. I was so impressed with her advice column that I was dreaming of having my own some day. So I kept teasing and commenting, and out of the blue, bam! Email from Ali Z, titled: Advice Column. Hmmm, interesting, I thought she was giving me personal-personal advice now and I was grateful. Imagine my shock when I read the line: "My Mom, Stella and I would be happy to give you my advice column." I almost fell off my desk (I don't use a chair). I just couldn't believe my eyes. I mean, I can believe I'll be getting a million pounds from London but THE advice column??? 

I quickly replied in case Ali Zophia changed her mind. She hasn't yet. Not only that but she and Stella posted the most hilarious conversation making it official! For the record, Ali Zophia was NOT fired. She has moved on to something TOP secret. I'm so excited to find out what is happening at their blog next. By the end of the post it was official: I, Twinkie Maria Conchita Espenoza Cucaracha Doodle-Bug Chupa Cabra Twinkerson, am honored to take over the famous Ali Zophia Advice Column. I will try my hardest to answer every-furiend's questions regardless of the perils I may be faced with in my quest for the correct response.

Please use my full name when leaving questions, I don't want to be confused with anybody else. Know that every question is important to me and that I will be recruiting the help of many critter-specialists to better serve you. So BRING IT ON! I have a hotline available to take questions 24/7. The number is 1-800-DEAR-TWINKIE

I thought the photo above would be appropriate as a header to the advice column. It summarizes what I stand for: a big mouth and an even bigger desire to laugh.

Ali Z! You are one cool kat! I will miss your column, but I am also looking forward to seeing what you and Stella have in store for us. Dear Abby, beware! Dear Twinkie's on the loose.
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GLOBAL ANIMAL BLOGGING EVENT UPDATE: Wonderful and detailed new post from our furiends The Bumpass Hounds! Even if you're clear on G.A.B.E. I still highly recommend you visit their blog. 
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