Dear Twinkie | A Dog Advice Column

A dog advice column

houndstooth asked...

Oh darn it! I really thought you were going to mail me my kitten! I had such big plans for things we'd do together, like taking long naps on the couch!

Lilac would like it to be known that she insists upon having the fan on and the a/c at all times! She gets barking mad just thinking about having to go outside for turn out. She does feel much better about recycling those green papers, though!

My question this week is about something I know you are very knowledgable about. We have been doing a lot of hiking lately and we've liked it so much, we plan to do some more. What are the things you think every hound should have in her back pack when she goes on a hike?

Bunny

TVT

I love talking about dog hiking! Oh, the joys of hiking with dogs! But just in case, one should always be prepared for . . . anything. 

I think this will do it

PS: Bunny, you should always pack a copy of the last Cat Fancy magazine. Just in case there are any dull moments. 

the booker man asked...

miss twinkie,
i'm starting to get filled with the nervosity. see, i woofed to sam and pippen that i'd help police miss ruby and miss penny's bachelorette pawty. we even came up with a super cool dance routine. and after all, my lovely miss mayzie is gonna be there, and i just can't take my eyes off of her most beautimousness. but now all the ladies are woofing about green papers and cheese and throwing these thingies at us dudes?? what has the booker man gotten himself into?!
*woof*
the booker man

TVT

I think we've all seen the aforementioned "dance" routine. If I may add, you looked spectacular! Rest assured my friend, there will be no throwing of green papers. We've agreed to recycle those. As for the cheese, who does not desire cheese thrown at them. Go with the flow. Enjoy. 

The booker man is going to get extra cheese! 

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ asked...

Awww, that is bittersweet about the kitties. M is a good woman - but we know it was hard for her to do.

Now about that ball and chain party - TD and Phantom are planning to go, but we are worried what the guys will think of this lampshade dude showing up. Any idea what we can do?

Woos ~ the OP Pack

TVT

I got a great idea. We'll ask the organizers to respectfully rename it "Frankie's Ball, Chain, and Lampshade Pawty! Phantom will be the best dressed party animal. 

Wow, Phantom! Who's your stylist?

Tank asked...

You're so good at answering questions Miss Twinkie. I would like to know why there are so many idiots in the world. I find myself getting depressed about this. Do you think we could herd them altogether and bite their ankles? I think this would make me feel better.

Sincerely yours,
Tank

TVT

Bitey ankle? Why not! Too bad you're over your kennel cough, I was going to suggest you cough on everybody.

 Tank day dreaming about bitey ankle

Cocorue asked...

TwinkTwink,

You ARE one smart cookie!

i'm still giggling over Tank's comment about the "idiots" in this world. i thought i was the only one thinking that!

Q: how do i Stop mumster from humanising us????? Coco is more hooman than the hoomans themselves!!!
bad enough that Coco has a vast wardrobe and has her own 'armoire' ( exCUUUUSE ME...)
AND now, i haave to wear a Sock to cover my wound - her excuse is that to go 'coneless' i'd have to wear the socks to prevent me from licking my wound.
my FEAR is this is an excuse and Before i know it, i'll be behaving like a hooman - clothes, behavior, eating habits....pls help wise Twink
i'm only 7mths and hoping for a loooooong Dawg life!
pookisses
Tiffy

TVT

TiffTiff, my dearest poor spayed, toothless, and declawed little girl! My heart goes out to you, as I've been through similar ordeals myself. Don't worry, baby. Having more small dog clothes than dad is common, especially for little princesses like your sister. Listen carefully now. This is the perfect opportunity to train your humans. You can train them at any level. I'd start with your main concern. Instead of allowing them to humanize you, I suggest you puppy-ize them. I won't rest until I see a photo of at least one of them in a dog cone and a baby doll dress. As for "The Sock", keep giving them the sad puppy eyes that I see all over your blog and while staring them right in the eyes, softly start chewing on your sock. I've tried it and mom was too busy laughing to get mad. 

As for the armoireS, OMD you're right. But your wise older sister offered to go naked for you. If that's not self-sacrifice, then I don't know what is. 

"The Sock," a new film by Stephen King. As for Coco, a special plea: no more going naked. There are children visiting our puppy blogs.

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom asked...

How do woo do it week after week after week!?!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

TVT

Right back at you, you royal fluff ball, you! And I don't even do transports in the weekends. How do woo do it? 

PH That's probably NOT the way Khyra does it

Frankie The Chiweenie asked...

Are you forgetting something again, Twinkie? Weren't you supposed to mention your blog feature at Carnival of Shopping, along with a description of the Beloved Pets blog?

TVT

Dang! The chiweenie is right this time. Thanks, Frankie. I see you're maturing nicely. Our blog was indeed mentioned in Carnival of Shopping. As for the animal blog you mentioned, you can find it by clicking HERE. It's a blog geared towards information and tips that pet owners might find helpful and useful. 

Now, go take on the day!

Twinkie