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Saturday, January 22, 2011

Mango Minster Faux Pas 'N An Announcement

Well, matter of fact, I don't really care what else Mango Minster 2011's contestants get wrong, as long as y'all get my category--Insane Cracker Dogs--right.

Insane Cracker Dog Category Closed 
fermé, geschlossen,
cerrado, chiuso
Yup yup, the category I've been honored to judge, has officially closed. I know some of you are not good at math or reading directions, so I thought I'd help spread the news.

Comment on Comments

Aside from bribes, I've been getting tons of brown-nosing. Thank you furry much, BUT I happen to know that we dogs are by definition brown-nosers, therefore, while I'm always happy to humbly receive your praises as to my person and blog, compliments will not be affecting your total score, much, if any.

Now, about funny comments. Those actually do add lots of point to your overall score board.

Allow me to demonstrate:

I'm going to use Eva as an example.

Exhibit A (1st comment):

Oh Mr Twinkie, my honorable, handsomest, sweetest and cleverest judge, this is Eva again, the little girl who is competing with those big name contestants. I just want to tell you that I love your blog very much, it is full of wisdom and wits, it's also the funniest that it always made me fall of my chair. Luckily, I didn't hurt myself whenever I fell onto it. It is carpeted!!! It is my honour to have you as my judge and I'm so glad to know more about you too. I've been trying to catch up with your old posts and I'm still reading and reading. I wish you a very good day and please don't put too much stress on yourself. Some beer and tacos and cheese are in the fridge and they are all reserved for you, my honorable judge!

Eva does a lovely job tail-kissing, but she also spells "honour" in British and only offers tacos and cheese.

Exhibit B (2nd comment on same post):

Oops!!! It's me, Eva again!!! How many comments you would like me to leave you daily?
I can tell my mom to do it. She is really free!!!Anyway, I will make her free so she can do it.

That's what I'm talking about! Eva came back with a sense of humor. She got quite a few brownie points the minute M started making snorting sounds as she spilled her coffee all over our pretty white keyboard which is fast-ly turning beige.


 Lacie (the Premium Saltine Cracker),

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place has left a new comment on your post "Attention Insane Cracker Dogs":

To the Most Esteemed Honorable Twink, your Honor...

WAIT WAIT AND WAIT...This is Lacie...I grovel to no dog. This is impossible to flatter you with words. So...where does that leave us?

ACTIONS???!!! AH...a far better CAT A GORY for the Lacie. How can Twink be bribed....??


Hmm...she twirls a piece of errant fur that has curled down her sweet attractive cheek...I'm thinking I COULD pencil you in for next weekend. NO NO...not this weekend. My calendar is completely full.

Kisses and more,

Lacie, Also a Very Tiny Dog

Oh, boy! For starters, you're not that tiny. Maybe you need to cut back. You can eliminate lots of calories by refraining from biting your momma's neck, for example. More importantly, I'm a WO-man and therefore, I reject your date offer. Even more importantly, I gave my heart to Mango, long ago, and since he rejected me, I've stopped dating altogether.


Jazzi left the following comment:

Twink, ole long time buddy and pal!!!
Ok, fur the bribes, just how many Tacos would you like to have sent to YOU?? Would you like the double shell kind with extra toppings?? ANything fur you, your most honorable and fair and wonderful and terrific judge!! Does that score me about 20 bazillion points???

Maybe not a full 20 bazillion, but almost. Tacos are good. Any edibles (including dog treats, especially homemade ones) are okay by me. I'll graciously accept those and throw in a few extra points, mainly because I know how important tacos are to you, and you're still willing to share.


Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie have organized a side event to Mango Minster 2011. It's going to be a fun and easy to enter costume contest. Check it out HERE. G2G. Must figure out my entry!

Judge Twink
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