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Monday, January 17, 2011

Bribery Suggestions

This post is dedicated to all uninspired cracker dogs that aspire to win Mango Minster 2011:

Somebody please flush the toilet

Any cracker doggie want to adopt our cracker doggie? If not for me, at least do it for the kittehs!

Deal of the day: If you take the cat tree, you get the kittehs too! Do not pass on this once in a lifetime deal!

In addition to the aforementioned suggestions. Here are some comments from exemplary entrants, for those who can't get a clue (I have also underlined some important key words):

Court Exhibit A

Dear superior Judge Twinkie,
Please remember me, Eva is a cute cracker contestant and I'd love to win your heart too!
Please don't blame me but my mom. She has too many things in her little brain lately and didn't work out things very well.
I'd already told her that our house is big and our guest room is cosy and comfy and it is already ready so you can have a vacation whenever you like. You know my weather is much better than yours although there is no snow provided. But come on, is there anything better than having some sun bathing and enjoy the warm sea breeze at this moment. No flood, no storm and no volcano eruptions but there are fireworks, parties and BBQ!!! Btw, I have some beef jerky, hooves, greenies, salmon sushi rolls in my jars.
I'm not bribing you at all because I know it is not right. I'm just trying to tell you that life will be even better if you know what I mean.
Eva, the sheltie

Go Eva! Now, you're talking!

Court Exhibit B

Oh Great Twinkie, Judge of Judges, Most Beautiful Chihuahua in the World (no! the universe!). I've gotten access to my human's computer so I could see what kind of, ah, "arrangement" we can work out. I have a nice big yard, live with a couple wussy kittehs, and one tough BT, my sis, Panda. She's taught me everything I know. Panda says we can offer you a large king bed to lounge about on and humans who will minister to your every need. Also, can you say "Doggy Disney World"? It's the dog beach! You could come and show us how it's really done, Twinkie-style. Uh oh, here comes a human, gotta go. Cracker Sadie

Pee.S I also sent u an email, my talents apparently have no limits!

The email:
Your Most Honorable Judge Twinkie,

Since I am new to the "Cracker Dog" syndrome, at least in my human's eyes, my entry was somewhat spontaneous. What can a humble Cracker Dog do to make this process, uhm, beneficial for us both? Massive comments and compliments on your blog, perhaps?

Your Biggest Fan,

Cracker Sadie

Yeessss! You're getting there.

On this happy note, Court is adjourned for the day
Twinkie V. Twinkerson

United Pet Blogdom District Judge

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