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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Dear Twinkie | A Dog Advice Column

A dog advice column

houndstooth asked...
Wonderful advice again, Ms. Twinkerson! It appears that Morgan is taking your advice to heart.

Why is it that Morgan acts so different from us, anyway?

TVT: Bunny, it makes me sad you have to endure, as I do with my younger sister. New family members can bring unrest and confusion. Wait a minute, I got it! Maybe Morgan is not a german shepherd as she originally thought. Maybe she's a chiweenie! That's it. That's the answer to this deep question.
Bunny's "different" sister with the "disease to please.

Lola asked...
Twinkie, thank you for the fashion advice. I'm going to study it carefully and do my best to dress appropriately for the occasion.

As to the next question - I think this will be a standing request for a while. Any tips you have for training a little brother will be much appreciated.

wags, Lola
TVT: You could always start by teaching him how to speak "kitty". But that would mainly help out Simone and Happy. Okay, how about you teach Brooklyn how to surf the counters and bring you his loot? That would be a great start. For the record though, I think you've done a fabulous job training him so far. I mean, the bed situation was rather important. We'll just have to work on dinner time, but tell your humans, all your moms etc. that extra dog treats make the heart grown fonder. There!
Brooklyn, already in training.


Now that Puddles is a Preacher, do you think this will influence everyone's roast speeches?

And you bring up a very good point... who should be the next roastee? how often should they be held?

Sam and Pippen
Hosts of
The Hobbit Celebrity Roasts
TVT: She will definitely influence Ruby, Penny, and Frankie, that's for sure. As for the next roast: I would like to suggest we roast Mango. He's constantly in my thoughts and I hope he bounces back real fast so we can roast him out of pure joy for regaining his health! It's not going to be easy to find a pot to accommodate his enormous self, but he's so worth it. 
Why don't you two lie back and meditate. The answer shall come to you.
Aren't all khyttens edible?

TVT: Funny you ask, Khyra. Just yesterday, one of the kittens was asking if all fluffy sibes are edible. I guess the answer to both questions is "yes" depending on whether or not you can get away with it. For example, I know you'd meet a bit of resistance from M as well as I know the khyttens would have a tough getting rid of their hairballs.
A hairball of gargantuan proportions
Tucker asked...
Twinkie - Why won't momma get me a brudder? Other doggies are gettin' siblings (Bunny, Brutus, and Dory to name a few). It's not fair I tell you, not fair at all.

woof - Tucker
TVT: Tucker! What did you do with Evil kitty brother #2??? Do I need to call the cat police or send you over some more kittens?
Missing Cat
Frankie the Chiweenie asked…
Could you tell our furiends about Sarge's Animal Rescue Foundation's important contest?
TVT: Finally, the brindle-butt is making sense. Of course I will, especially since it's for a great cause and because it's being led by our good ol' pals, the Thundering Herd! You can find the details here: "Walking With The Herd Contest".

Now, go take on the day!
Twinkie Van Twinkerson

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