FROM THE RECORDS OF MANGO MINSTER 2011
Final Ethics Report and Show Recap
blah blah blah
Here for your reading pleasure is the final ethics report from our Guardian of Ethics, Miss Abby ...
blah blah blah
To: His Magnificence, Mango the Relentlessly Huge, Creator and Organizer of Mango Minster
From: Abby, L.B.E., Official Guardian of Judicial Ethics for Mango Minster 2011
Re: Final Report
Abby is pleased to report that the overall standards of judicial ethics at Mango Minster 2011 were exemplary. The majority of judges and contestants conducted themselves with honesty, intelligence, humor and respect for the high standards set by prior Mango Minster events. While Abby monitored the entries, supplemental posts and comments of all contestants for possible attempts at bribery or illicit influence of the judges, her primary responsibility was to ensure the integrity of the judiciary itself.
blah blah blah
Judge Twinkie V. Twinkerson, United Pet Blogdom District Judge, occasioned Abby the greatest official concern. Judge Twinkie was not only flagrant and frequent in her solicitation of bribes, but she actually conducted a FIVE-part seminar on bribery to guide the contestants in her Insane Cracker Dog category [January 13, 14, 16, 17 and 22]. Judge Twinkie further developed and disseminated early in the contest the criteria by which she intended to judge the contestants. Said criteria included, in addition to three acceptable category-related sections, credit for Random & Arbitrary Bonus & Bogus Points and an entire section headed simply "Bribes." As a result of Judge Twinkie's casual relationship with judicial ethics, her category engendered by far the most elaborate and highest number of bribe offers from contestants. Judge Twinkie was offered, inter alia, three luxury vacations [a month long spa vacation in B.C. by Sam; a relaxing beach vacation in FL by Sadie; and an exotic beach vacation in Malaysia by Eva], as well as a plane ticket to a presumably fun filled locale in Mexico by Uncle Puppy. Abby is shocked at the pretty much total lack of judicial ethics displayed by the judge in this category and leaves it to the Mango to determine whether any disciplinary action is required.
Respectfully submitted
Dear "Guardian of 'Ethics'":
Miss Abby, in her own words, stated that: "The majority of judges and contestants conducted themselves with honesty, intelligence, humor and respect for the high standards set by prior Mango Minster events. " In other words, the odds are with me that I'm indeed respectful, intelligent, funny and above all HONEST. Furthermore, Miss Abby, also stated that, "Judge Twinkie was not only flagrant and frequent in her solicitation of bribes, but she actually conducted a FIVE-part seminar on bribery to guide the contestants in her Insane Cracker Dog category [January 13, 14, 16, 17 and 22]." How dare she, when the entire animal blogdom knows for a fact that Judge Twink was sequestered, therefore having a bulletproof alibi during the aforementioned dates!
Miss Abby proceeds to state that, "As a result of Judge Twinkie's casual relationship with judicial ethics, her category engendered by far the most elaborate and highest number of bribe offers from contestants. " Thereby admitting that Judge Twinkie was successful at her duties.
Finally, Miss Abby stated that, "Judge Twinkie was offered, inter alia, three luxury vacations [a month long spa vacation in B.C. by Sam; a relaxing beach vacation in FL by Sadie; and an exotic beach vacation in Malaysia by Eva], as well as a plane ticket to a presumably fun filled locale in Mexico by Uncle Puppy. ". NOOOOOT!
G2G now. My jaccuzzi tub is calling my name.
From the exotic beaches of Malaysia
Judge Twinkie
*Note: It's been a pleasure working with all of you judges, contestants, guardians, and participants' pawrents. My thanks to all and especially to Mango Momma for causing us all to BOL and LOL with her witty observations and colorful emails.
Fondly
"Judge Twink"
Posts
.jpg)