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Friday, January 21, 2011

Attention Insane Cracker Dogs | Part Deux

The honorable Judge Twink presiding

Here are some more of the INSANE CRACKER DOG CATEGORY entries in

Scoring rules may change at any time based on my SOLE discretion
Best possible score: 5
Worst possible score: -5
Extra points are in units and are based on bribes

Contestant #4
Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
5p for having confidence in yourself
5p for pawesome slobber action shot
5p for histrionics
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p for your personal energy level
4p for your post's energy level (I felt that you left much insanity undisclosed)
6p for your wicked moves
Level of Destruction
4p only because the mailman was not hurt, sorry
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
-1 for random princess shot. Are you crackers or a princess?

Contestant #5
Definition of Category (how well you fit in it)
5p for your breed, 'nough said
4p for taking the time to thank the judges, blah blah. Where are the goods, huh?
Energy Level of Participan and of Post
5p for allowing the "inner cracker jack pop", an excellent poin
  5p for french kissing your mommy
Level of Destruction
3p for testing for softness by feel alone?! Use your teeth, if you want to be a proper cracker dog, Gretchen.
Random and Arbitrary Bonus and Bogus Points
+5 because I liked your blog title. It also reaffirms your commitment to being crackers
Am I going blind? I didn't see or smell any.

Ugh, why-oh-why do I bother warning you furiends? Can anybody hear me?

Court is adjourned for the day

Twinkie V. Twinkerson

United Pet Blogdom District Judge


Two French Bulldogs said...

You got some stiff competition there!
Benny & Lily

♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

We hear you loud and clear - too bad we aren't in there:)

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

The Boston Lady said...

Oh great Twinkie, my mom finally walked away from the computer so now I have time to say all that is on my dog brain today. Can I say it is only thoughts of you, your greatness, oh wise and honorable judge Twinkie.

May your weekend be filled with nothing but doggie good stuff. Walks, belly scratches, no headaches from the underling animals that are allowed to be in your presence. My sis, Panda also said I should tell you that my bestie who lives across the street is a long-haired Chihuahua named Sassy. She understands my cracker ways, but accepts me.

Uh, your the greatest, uh, the best, uh, oh yeah and you have great fashion sense (one of the felines here suggested I throw that in, but it's true!)

Your groveling, brown-nosed cracker-contender, Sadie

The Boston Lady said...

Oh! And you are so smart! You speak French! So you are tri-lingual - such talent.

Bowing and scraping,

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

HUMMMMMMMM I see that I am going to have to work on my
Delivery... OR perhaps my

Charlie said...

Um, Twink... recheck that picture of Eva... that pup's real Real REAL cute, but it's no princeSS...
- Charlie

Unknown said...

My dearest cleverest Judge Twinkie, I just want to secretly inform you that me picture isn't that picture, that's Charlie, the handsome boy! Oops!!! Besides, me no princess, me is a cracker cracker cracker girl!!! By the way, I'd like to learn French with you after this competition : ) Please be my mentor, teacher and guardian.

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