Dear Twinkie | A Dog Advice Column

A Dog Advice Column

Ina in Alaska asks...

Thank you Miss Twinky Twinkerbelle Dolce Gabana Versace Prada Ferragamo for all of your fabuloso advice.
Do you have a queso fountain at your house or do you eat your squirty cheese sprayed from a can directly into your mouth like we do up here in Alaska (and also in Master-Chew Sits)? Your fans, Toby, Ginger and Jeter.
Halle will have no such nonsense and will only eat fresh French Brie served with a special sterling silver cheese knife, spoiled bratty Jersey Girl that she is....

TVT: A queso fountain! Is that a question or a terrific suggestion? Something like the chocolate fountain they had at your friend's shower! Maybe you should take over this column because you are brilliant! 

As for poor Halle, I realize she's the glamour queen, but evidence says to leave her out of it. It's Jeter and Toby who are living the French Brie life. 

You still don't believe me? 

mayziegal asks...

Hi Twinkie Twink Twink!
A Most Great column today, as always! You have a whole lotta brains in that l'il head, that's for sure!
Okay, my question today is about baths. Do you thinks baths are really truly necessary? So far I've managed to con...um, I mean...convince my mom that my brindle furs will wash away down the drain and I will go into a catatonic state should she ever decide to gives me a bath. Besides I always try to roll in the most fragrant thing I can find so I know I smell GOOD. But I overheard her saying something to my dad about maybe giving it a try. (GULP!) So I just thought I'd ask you what you thought?
Wiggles & Wags,
Mayzie

TVT: Mayzie, you're getting very sleepy. You are traveling backwards in time and you're totally relaxed. Now close your eyes and envision the days when you slept on dirty, hard, cold ground (your words). Now open them!

ta-da 

Feel better about baths now?

BRUTUS asks...

So full of great advice. Proof that wisdome & size are certainly not related! Speaking of which, maybe you can help our dilemma... Flat Brutus is AWOL in Singapore. He was last seen at the Musketeers, and I haven't been able to get in touch with them in a few weeks (hope they are OK). Coco & Sonic- both of whom you posted about today - are each anxiously awaiting his visit.. Any advice on how I can reconnect with our wayward international Flat Brutus?
Thanks for the consideration, oh wise one!
Snorts- Brutus the Frenchie

TVT: Dear ol' furiend, we need a search and rescue party to get Flat Brutus out of this mess. I suggest you drop agility for a short while (those ribbons must be really weighing you down) and start training in SAR. We're going to put an APB out and the animal blogland will join us in our expedition. Don't worry. We'll get your FB out of this prickly situation. 

Mack and Sally Ann ask...

Dear Twinkie,
Your advice is great. I have two questions for you:
What is the best way to get Mommy's attention when she is taking care of your brother?
What is the best way to get your big brother to play with you when he won't?
Sally Ann

TVT: My sweet Sally Ann. I supposed now that your wonderful brother went to the rainbow bridge, these questions don't mean much. Our heart goes out to you and your family and wish you strength. Your brother needed his rest. He's happy where he is and we're grateful he's not suffering any longer. He will NOT be forgotten!

In memory of Lord Duncan McDuff

The Thundering Herd ask...

Every week, we read your column and think we should ask a question. But every week we come up empty. How do you suggest we come up with a question?

TVT: This is a great question!!! There are several options. You could utilize Rusty's mind control. You could drink the Jägermeister you found and see if it holds the answers. Finally, feel free to go meditate under your tree and see if you can come up with any questions. I'll be waiting for woo.

Madi and Mom ask...

Twinkie
Great advice to all...we can see you take your job seriously striving for perfection each day. We love how you love us gives us a warm tingly feeling!!! :-)!!!
Note was made of the fact that you recognized my greatness as a Cat in your comment on my blog yesterday.The grandfather clock wrap was a proud moment in my life. Mom didn't even tell everyone about the time I tore up the wood frame around the door..this incident required new molding....can you say part dog?
Madi and Mom

TVT: Yes, I can. Part dog, part diva! Ole!

Madi the fe-nine

Hank asks...

Uh....Miss (uh) Van Twinkerson (if that IS yer real name)......I gotta question. Is it possible that my sister Molly really IS goin' deaf or is she just ignorin' us? An' if she is goin' deaf, does that mean I haftuh be nicer to her?

TVT: Of course! I understand your suspicion, after all we've all played deaf (I do it all the time, teacup chihuahua virtue), but in your case, we're also talking about peepee pipes, rotting teeth, etc. Listen Hank, I had to consult with M for this one. If your momma is willing to forego her motorcycle, you better be understanding and nice to the old lady, and I mean Molly, not your mom. I am also attaching a photo to refresh your memory and help with setting your priorities straight. I call it pug luv.

Pug Luv

kissa-bull ask...

dearest twinkie twinkerson
you are just so full of the smarticles and we furry much blush at your kind compliments of our pack. we all got wiggley reading your kind words. wise . and bewootiful what more can anyone ask for??
blushing pibbles
the pittie pack

TVT: What more? Oh, my dear furiends. You are so sweet and well mannered, and you always say the kindest things. How about a new home? Isn't that a nice goal? I wanted to publicly congratulate you and tell you not to be sad. Our Mona has a lot to live for. She'll make us all proud and happy in the end. 

Martine asks...

Captain crunch here, Twink:
I'm a little over a year old and already suffer from premature balding.... I just realized I've started to go grey as well!! Can you believe it? I'm a little vain and want to know what I should do... I could ask my mom to pluck the few grey furs or ask her to get me just for men or should I just embrace my new colored furs??? HELP !
Woof,
Caps

TVT: Listen Caps. It's bad enough you're in diapers at the moment, you're worried about your furs? You also have a human peanut invasion to deal with. Oh, well, you could try a treatment shampoo for balding men, but then you'll smell like a human, yuck. You could use a touch up hair color stick, just make sure you match the color to your furs properly. I must tell you, I empathize. But I can't make this decision for you. I can only offer you my advice. Now go rescue the peanut's pacifier. Hurry!

I'm just proving my point

the booker man asks...

grrreat advices as usual, miss twinkie!! so now that you are like super duper famous and everybuddy wants your pawtograph and a photo op with you, do you have a most muscley boy doggie to escort you and make sure you don't get overwhelmed by your fans??
*woof*
the booker man

TVT: I do not as of now, but I have somebody in mind. I was thinking of you, if that's okay. I mean, not only do you look like a force to content with, as demonstrated in the attached photo, you're also going to be in even better shape in no time with your new health regiment. If you're willing to do it, I must know, will you do it for dog treats? 

I would always feel safe with you by my side (chuckle)

Frankie the Chiweenie asks...

Where can I find a chiweenie rescue? I need a retreat. Last night, mommy brought home an english bulldog and I was shocked and scared. I realize that I passed the Caning Good Citizen test, but I'm still young and vulnerable. Can you stop mommy from bringing home scary dogs?

TVT: Blah, blah, blah. You silly chiweenie! I was there! If I could, I would. Okey dokey? And what about our furiends and the homeless pups M brings home? Would you rather we lived a lonely selfish life? Besides, the english bulldog you have in mind is simply a-do-ra-ble!

How can you fear this smiling face?

No comment

3 doxies ask...

Twinkletoes,
You is so very much fotogenic and I am even more impressed that you haves yourvery own foDOGrapher at your side. Now I haves a question: How does I become a chawawa like you?
Puddles

TVT: I'm photogenic thanks to your mom. If you don't get what I'm saying, just ask her. You? A chawawa? What's wrong with being a doxie? The teacup chihuahua life is full of risks. Our life is in danger from common things like shoes and large pray birds. You have it good my friend. You don't even have long furs like your sibblings. You are perfect the way you are. Besides, Urban Dictionary's definition for a chawawa is: A little mexican dog with pointy ears  and beady eyes before spell check was invented. You don't want to be associated with that. 

Proud to be a doxie

Twix asks...

Girlfuriend! You are simply fab! I'm so impressed that you have your own magazine spread right here! Fortunately, none of those photos are centerfolds ;o)
I have a question for you but I also asked it to Dear Star. Is it okay to ask you both the same question and then decide whose answer I like best?
Snuggles,
Twix

TVT: For the record, Dear Star has been around longer than Dear Twinkie, so I must say, if you have to chose, you should probably go with experience. Having said that, I don't think that Star would mind if you asked both of us. Perhaps you can ask her your real questions and ask me your silly ones. I do well with those.  I have an idea for you. Based on the success of your date night, have you considered doing your own dog advice column? It can be a love advice column and you could get Frankie Flirter's professional imput. Think about it. 

But don't over-think it

Now go take on the day!

Twinkie

Cute dog Pictures

***Global Animal Blogging Event now accepting links @ twinkietinydogATaolDOTcom!!!***

Cute Dog Pictures
dog adoption crew

HUG?

Pit bull

Doxie

Chihuahua

Chiweenie

Dalmatian and german shorthaired pointer, the dog

Chiweenie

Tea cup chihuahua, moi

Twinkie

Chihuahua Photo Tagged--Again

The photo tag is making its rounds apparently, because I've been tagged again. The rules are as follows:

1. Open your first photo folder

2. Scroll down to the tenth photo

3. Post the photo and tell the story behind it

4. Tag 5 more people

Well, since I only have one first photo folder and it still contains the same tenth photo, here's the link to my last Photo Tag

Have a nice day! (jokey-jokey)

On a second and more serious thought, I was glad I got picked to participate again by Zoolatry, the creator of the G.A.B.E. badge, but I had to pick a different photo. I tried to remain true to the principal, so I arbitrarily picked the tenth photo of  my last photo-shoot; an album I hadn't even had a chance to look at. I was excited to find that my tenth photo was the following:

Coincidentally, I counted 10 dogs in this photo
all are dog adoption pups right out of the streets and the animal shelter
I spot lots of chihuahua pups, a couple of blue heeler pups, and a couple of doxie pups

This was taken yesterday morning. It was taken at the barn I'm always talking about. It was so windy that nobody could go riding so instead they played with us. Who is "us" though?  I noticed many of you are confused by all the dog adoption participants. The bipeds are of various backgrounds and ages, but they have one thing in common: They are all for rescuing critters; mostly dogs, but just about anything alive and in need can find at least a foster home through our barn folks. There are many bipeds that ride at our barn, at least 20 and they're all active in not only giving but also finding forever homes. Each biped's home has between two to over ten critters living in their homes. That's how come you see so many adoptions. I can also tell you that for the time being, M is trying to "be good" and help with placements and donations only--let's see how long this will last. 

Let the tagging continue! 

1. Stella & Ali Zophia--I have much to say about these wonderful furiends but I'll do it some other time in detail.

2. Benny and Lily--BOL! You quack me up.  

3. My beloved XXL furiend Darwin, who is so sensitive and caring. I'm thinking of her constantly recently because she's got a booboo and I hope it heals by itself, fast. 

4. The belles over at Houndstooth. You can help them with their fashion quandary when you visit. 

5. The Feisty Three--They're feisty alright and since I'm ornery, we're a good match. 

Every time I post about the multiple dog adoption barn, I want to scream, adopt a dog, adopt a pet, just ... adopt!!!

Twink!

Another Dog Adoption

Dino was his nam-o!

So adorable!

We think he's about a year and a half old and some type of chihuahua mix. He's fresh out of the animal shelter. He's very submissive and has a soft white stripe running up and down his face. 

.

Nice, huh? 

Another emaciated pup...

I had to test sniff Dino first
I liked him right away!

Frankie liked him okay, but she was a bit afraid of him

He was a bit afraid of Frankie

Our barn furiend Louie aka Nugget, another chihuahua,

came over to give us his seal of approval

The sniffing ceremony

As you can see, Dino fit right in with my family

So we took a family portrait

Dino is in good hands now and he has a pawesome forever home.

Dod adoption accomplished! No more animal shelter for this little chihuahua mix. You don't have to worry about him one bit

Unless my sissy chokes him, of course

And I still want to tell you a little story about Louie... soon. He's quite the character.

* * * 

Delightful Blogs, placed GABE's logo on their homepage to help spread the word. On behalf of all of us who want to participate, thank you. Now of course, had I made the badge DB would probably not have offered. Phew, I'm so glad the ZH from Zoolatry did it! 

Twinkie

Horse Show | Most Shocking News (Part Deux)

I noticed from Sunday's comments that most of you were upset with the golf cart lady who claimed Frankie was "her Lily," so I'm going to get right to it. She did it again, yesterday. Less drama, less dust, less of everything. She took Frankie over to visit her other dog adoption, with who Frankie supposedly had spent a few days. Frankie did not like that one bit. No recognition, zip. That took the wind out of the lady's sails and she promptly returned Frankie to M and me saying she approved of the way we took care of her. Pfffft No comment. Now, if M wants to get Frankie's DNA tested so we can find out her breed, fine. If not, we really couldn't care less. No matter how much I trash talk my sissy, I love her, and that's the truth.

Frankie can't stand being away from M and me

She wants to be close to us all the time

She is MY sister

No lady's gonna change that

(Jazzi, I am watching over her, like you asked)

Meanwhile, back by the horse stalls....

Remember the prisoners?
(Yes, Norwood, that's Holly, the blue heeler, on the top floor)

They escaped!

(I lead them to a burrito)

The horseback riding lessons paid off. Rider-Sister was champion of the equitation division and qualified for a couple of end of the year medal finals during this horse show. M was misty eyed as usual. She's very proud of both her peanuts!

This is Ringo!

There's been a new barn adoption, but I will share that with you next time. I think I'm crazy for the new guy--no worries Gunther, we're just furiends.
I would like to leave you on a happy note. My furiend, Boomer, the chihuahua, would like to sing for you (woo, for the sibes)

La la la

Wait! What's that?

Frankie's praying

I told her to stop worrying. The lady wasn't taking her away, not as long as I was around. We left shortly after this photo was taken. To be continued...

Twink!

Horse Show | Most Shocking News

I was at a horse show with Frankie having a swell time. I was attached to the chiweenie all day, but we had fun; at least I did.

Attack!

Most importantly, we got to move around and be social, unlike the prisoners below.

POWs

The weather was nice and M didn't even try to put dog clothes on me, an extra bonus. My sister rode most excellently in the horse show, another plus. M forgot our dog food, so we got to eat her food, another positive experience. By now, I bet you're wondering: What was so shocking? 

As we're having a leisurely and fun day, a golf cart approaches, breaks screeching, dust all over the place, and this lady is pointing her finger at Frankie screaming, "That's MY dog. That's MY Lilly." At this point, I was like "Whoa, lady, that's MY sister" but M's interest was piqued. Frankie's kneecaps were shaking.

The lady insisted that she adopted "Lily" out of an animal shelter, but then she changed her mind. She said she does that a lot. She does a dog adoption and then changes her mind and passes the dogs on to others. No judgment on our part, because obviously she makes sure the dogs find homes. Guess what else she told us! Frankie is NOT a Chiweenie. The lady was pretty sure that Frankie is a Chihuahua/Italian Greyhound mix. Is Frankie, Francesca?

SHOCKING!

Have you ever heard of a Chitalian Greyhound? An Italian Greyhuahua? 

What's up with that? I am going to further look into these allegations tomorrow. Wish me luck. And of course, make somebody's life better, adopt a dog!

Twink!

Pack Leader

The Alpha and The Omega

When someone asks, "Who is the top dog at your house?" we all kind of look at each other for assistance. We're all dog adoption puppies. It's actually quite complicated. There is a strange lack of hierarchy. Linguini and I have seniority. If Linguini wasn't as sweet-natured as she is, we'd be in trouble. I was born an Alpha. Linguini is female, like me, plus she has seniority because of her age, and she was established for almost a decade before I barged into her life. Linguini does not care about titles though. She's happy to share everything with mini-me. When the Brat, the chiweenie, appeared into both our lives, there was no more room for top dogs. Frankie became the Omega.

Perhaps if I tried to use my demo photos, I could explain this better.

First, the Alpha spots the Omega

Meanwhile, the unaware Omega is basking in the sun

Then the Alpha pounces on the Omega

Clear demonstration of who the Alpha is

You guys know about pack mentality. There has to be a real pack leader. Who would that be? Our M is our Alpha and our Omega. She is also the fierce commander we all report to. She's like our PO. Nothing escapes her, and perhaps that's why we all live so peacefully and harmoniously together--and this includes the katz.

Who's the Alpha in your home?

*  *  *

Before I leave you to figure this out, I'd like to mention two things: 1. Twix, the doxie, is a two-time wiener-winner of my BOOK. She won one for Mango Minster 2010 and another one through my One World One Heart post. You lucky girl... 2. Darwin, the great dane, shocked me the other day. She put up this hilarious POST in which she included me. I just mentioned I wanted to play, and next thing I know I'm having a ball with her and Remi, the rhodesian ridgeback, and this other furiend, I don't know properly yet. Her name is Nala and she's a Rhodesian Ridgeback too. After reading her post today, I have the feeling she didn't even see me. My bad for being so tiny, since I'm a tea cup chihuahua, but maybe she could use some glasses. I'll head over there to suggest it now, but first: Thank you Darwin!

Twink!

Blue Heeler Name Change

Cookie No More (A Barn episode)

Do you remember the new blue heeler dog at the barn, a recent dog adoption? Her name was Cookie. Well, you better remember since many of you asked for an update. I was at the barn recently and when I asked about Cookie, nobody could give me an answer. I repeated myself, explaining I wasn't talking about edible cookies, but I got nothing. I started to panic then. Cookie's family were all tragically dead and poor Cookie herself, the sole survivor, was in poor shape when rescued. I looked to the right. No Cookie, but somebody was hiding behind a tree. I went around and saw:

Nathan, you silly goose, um, horse. I thought you were Cookie, the blue heeler.

I wanted to keep looking but M grabbed me because somebody allegedly got me a present. I was hoping for a dog treat. I looked for my present and saw:

OMD Please scroll away

Once I flattened myself in place, thus convincing M I wasn't going to wear this, no way no how, she got it off me and I started looking for Cookie again. Wait, what was that I saw between Nathan's legs?

Wrong again, 'twas my pal, Peetie, the doxie.

I was starting to panic. Nobody could talk to me about Cookie. Nobody knew of a Cookie. At this point, I came up with an idea.

'Scuse me Zamiro and Ringo, would a blue heeler happen to be between your lovely heads?

They neighed me away. Huh, horses can be so private at times.

I heard some noise from one of the stalls, so I decided to take a look.

Not you again, Peetie the doxie! Sorry dude, get back to work

I hope you realize, by now I was fearing the worst when all of a sudden I heard Maddi's voice. Cookie loved Maddi, also a blue heeler, so I ran to see if perhaps I could finally locate the Cookie Monster.

Twinkie: Boomer! What are you doing?

Boomer: Who, me? Keeping Maddi's tail warm

Maddi: Tiny chihuaha, get off of me now or I'm wagging!

Maddi did indeed have the answer, "Twinkie, if you're referring to the crazy baby Heeler, she didn't like her name." I was confused, and Maddi noticed. "She goes by Holly now." And that's when I turned around and saw Cookie, err, Holly.

She's become a soccer player now

And she's so serious about her future career that she asked for the name change herself.

Huh!

My blue heeler and recent barn dog adoption asked me to say hello to y'all

Hello!

Twink!

UPDATE: I just heard through the grapevine, okay, from Fiona, today's the day we get to vote for Sporty Dogs at Mango Minster 2010. If you check out MM you'll find that there may be a slight delay but keep checking. They actually had to break Sporty Dogs down to two groups and with all the crazy things happening over at MM, it'll be interesting to say the least.

Twink! Twink!