Strictly for our BELOVED friends and furiends

I, Twinkie, my dogs and humans, miss you! Time has become quite the luxury and we interrupted our blog abruptly. Even though things haven't changed much, I decided to take matters into my own paws. I hopped on M's computer to give you a quick update. First however, I want to make sure you can see our quickie posts on Facebook from the sidebar.  Look at the right column, other right!

THE UPDATE

With the exception of one of our kittens, Gigi Smudge, we're all doing great. Miss Gigi packed her bags and left us in the middle of the night. She was never happy here. She had been nicknamed, The Shadow, because that's all we got to see of her.

One of Gigi's last photos

M wants to think that The Shadow lives at our barn and comes home at night to eat. We all humor her and agree. Now that that's out of the way and the cat is out of the bag, the good news! And it's all good from here.

We have two half brothers! M met Mr. M who had two doggies, aka The Boyz:

Bubba, aka Cujo

Rocket, aka Smiley

M says they're the sweetest doggies, but the truth is that I've never met them. They keep us separated, but I can tell you that I'm in no hurry! I did overhear something about: The Boyz blah blah blah... Twinkie... SNACK...blah blah, Cujo blah blah...Twinkie, appetizer etc. I think you get the point.

As for the rest of the gang: All kittehs, young and old, rule at night. 

All of us doggies, just rule!

Senior Dog Linguini, the spotted girl, is turning 15 on November 1st. As an old geezer, she enjoys special privileges. She pretty much does whatever she wants. She also owns prime real estate, at the foot of M's bed. She is completely senile and happy all the time. I hope we all get old like that! It's pawesome, really.

Linguini

Ziggy, the oversized Great Dufus, we all love, has Wobbler's. Six months ago, he could barely move. Two days ago, he reached his personal goal. He was able to jump on M's bed! He was so shocked that he fell off the other side. He got back on and started doing the zoomies! We hope he'll be with us as long as possible.

Ziggy

Sasha, Ziggy's Great Dane sister, is M's little project. Sasha was suffering from major Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, food aggression, skin sensitivities, Pounce on small doggies Syndrome, and you can keep adding to the list. All of her conditions are improving every day, as are our lives and hers too.

Sasha

Pedro, the Terrorista, the self-appointed Great Dane guardian (and a wannabe Great Dane too), is . . .

...surviving 

BOL. This little dog is the cause of lots of laughter at my household

Frankie, our brindle Chiweenie, the Canine Good Citizen, is having a great time. She's happy, healthy, loves everyone, especially food, and she listens well.


Last, but certainly not least, there's ME. The Twink! I'm still tiny, but only when compared to the Danes. I personally feel as mighty as ever. A couple of months ago, I suffered a stroke, which made it appear as if I were d-e-d. I was just checking to see how much I was loved. When I was satisfied, I came to. I got to milk the situation for quite a while. I am a diva. I too now share prime real estate in M's bedroom; not just one but two small dog beds! I am Twinkie Tiny Dog, HEAR ME ROAR!!!

If you would pardon me now

it's my turn to do the dishes

Love you all....

Twink!

PS: We're turning comments off, because it's unclear when we'll have the time to respond next. I hope to resume blogging . . . as soon as possible!

Puff Doggie!

You've all heard about Puff Daddy, but 

Puff Doggie, huh?

Our senior spotted dog, Linguini, did it again. She had us rushing to the dog vet once more. We didn't fear the worst this time. We're all becoming accustomed to the odd things that are happening to her. WTD?!

 Within a few minutes, our beloved Linguini's forehead went from this to . . .

. . . THIS!

The dog vet discovered it was an abscess. Spotted senior dog's abscess was drained by syringe and she was sent home with antibiotics strong enough for a horse. Of course, she hurled them. M's got a grip by now. She adds some probiotics and a bit of yogurt to Linguini's food, waits a few minutes after each meal and then gives her the antibiotic. She's also, as per the vet's instructions, doing hot compresses three times a day. 

Our girl's health is improving fast!

Twink!

Wordless Wednesday Postponed For An Update

On Monday, I told you about our senior dog's, Linguini's grave illness over the weekend. We were worried she would be going to the rainbow bridge soon. She was lame, in excruciating pain, drained, and weak from a challenging weekend.
Tuesday was a brand new day! M was on her way back from Petco when, two doors down from our home, she noticed the Pasadena Humane Society Truck with all its lights flashing. No, it was NOT a mountain lion sighting. It was a spotted dog retrieval mission.
Linguini, partially named after Houdini, had ESCAPED AGAIN.

M got a lovely Case Number and a WARNING.

Linguini is being renamed Lazarous and her vet has been proclaimed Dog Vet of the Century!!!

Once again, thanks to Linguini, our household is black listed with the Pasadena Humane Society. The good news is: the fugitive was apprehended on the spot, get it? SPOT! BOL

Another happy end to a Linguini adventure.

Twinkie

A Trip Down Memory Lane

Our senior dog, Linguini, the eleven year old dalmatian mix, was adopted when she was a little pup. M had been looking for her lost cat at the Pasadena Humane Society and had to pass by the dog kennels first. She saw Linguini shivering, all by her tiny self, inside an enormous outdoor kennel. It was November; a cold and rainy month. 

M was forced to jump through various bureaucratic hoops in order to adopt Linguini, but it was worth it. Of course, we have not adopted out of that place since. 

 M's peanuts instantly fell in love with this beautiful and sweet doggie.

Linguini grew up with Rosie, our beloved chocolate lab. Soon, she'll be joining Rosie at ... the rainbow bridge. We're trying to get used to the idea. 

Linguini is a sweetheart--an angel of a dog.

 She welcomed me into the family and was always gentle with my tiny sickly self.

Her second favorite thing is going places...

 ... but what she loves the most is FOOD!

Linguini is so sweet-natured, she even put up with Pedrito!

We love our senior spotted dog!

(She enjoyed yesterday's dog hike so much that she forgot about her dog arthritis and even chased after a bunny)

Twinkie

Through The Glass Door

Our senior dog is enjoying the warm weather

Twinkie

Linguini | Senior Dog Update

For our friends and furiends who know and care about our senior dog, Linguini, the eleven year old dalmatian mix:

Along with a daily dose of Rimadyl and Omega 3 dog supplements for her dog arthritis, she's receiving an incredible overdose of TLC. That's our good news. The bad news is: Linguini's incontinence is out of control and she now wears diapers at night. The mop is part of our home decor.

Happy Weekend!

Twinkie

Bribery Is NOT A Form Of Corruption

Who cares about Linguini's (my ailing senior dog sister) health update,  Pedro's (my chihuahua puppy step-bro) shenanigans, or Frankie's birthday (the brindle chiweenie's arbitrary barkday is today) when there are pawesome bribes to be had. 

I just want you all to remember that you have been warned (yesterday)

I'm ready to announce the first runner up and potential winner of the category I'm judging.

Insane Cracker Dogs BEWARE

There's a tough competitor among you.

No, Phantom, Thunder and Ciara, it's not Pedrito the tiny terrorista--although the thought did cross my mind. After lengthy deliberations, I decided that if Pedro was part of the actual competition I'd have to recuse myself for lack of impartiality.

No, Buffy. Posting about my children's book is not an official bribe. I have lots of spares lying around my home, ugh.

Yes, dearest comedian furiends, Benny and Lily. Feel free to keep up with the crazy talk and don't forget to send your virtual bribes to me asap (even though you're not in my category BOL).

Not sure about your comment, Ms Lola Pei. If you can beat the bid for best bribe, feel free to enter this category instead of the diva one (although we all know you are shameless!).

And btw, I'm sorry I didn't hear you were having the sickies before today. I'm glad you're all better!

NO dearest ol' furiend, Frankie Furter, the monogamous dog. There will be NO BRIDES on this blog. I like to keep my options open. I do love your new white dreadlocks however, ehem, your honor (BOL). 

PS Let us know if you need a breathing apparatus

And NOW, the moment you've all been waiting for. 

Proud to announce the MANGO MINSTER 2011 first runners up in the INSANE CRACKER DOG category are:

Sam and Pippen!!!

WHY?

Because I said so!

Because I'm the judge.

Because I have taken an oath to NOT be impartial NOR fair . . .

. . . along with the fact that Sam and Pippen came up with the best bribe so far  * and then they threw in a heated dog bed for good measure. That's why!

*click and learn

Twinkie V. Twinkerson

United Pet Blogdom District Judge

Dog Arthritis And Blown Cruciate Update

(continued from yesterday)

Our dalmatian mix's blood test results came in, and meanwhile we were also able to locate what was making her so violently ill. It was the medication (hormone) that we had her on for her dog incontinence. Linguini had a rare reaction to Proin (phenylpropanolamine). We have already taken her off it and later, after her health has improved, we'll start looking at alternatives. The mop and bucket (along with bleach and Nature's Miracle) will have to replace the Proin for the time being. That's all good news since she hasn't thrown up once in the past 24 hours. She's already getting stronger.

The limp is a totally unrelated situation we need to tackle. We're going to give Linguini a couple more days to recover from the reaction to Proin and then put her on Rimadyl twice a day for a week. At the end of that time period, we will reconvene with the dog vet and decide for or against surgery. There is still a slight chance that the cruciate is partially torn versus completely blown. If it's partially torn and it's the dog arthritis that is mainly acting up, surgery will be postponed indefinitely to spare the senior dog from going under anesthesia.

I got some comments about dog glucosamine and chondroitin versus Rimadyl. I am grateful for all feedback, but in this dog's case, supplements will not suffice. She's already been on glucosamine for dogs, and on chondroitin,  and on fish oil for dogs. Supplements are always preferable to medication, but only when drugs can actually be avoided. Under the circumstances, the drug, Rimadyl, will potentially help avoid a rather involved, risky, and expensive surgery, so we have to give it a chance.

Twinkie

Dog Arthritis And Possible Rimadyl Adverse Reaction

Our Linguini, an eleven year old female dalmatian mix, has been diagnosed with dog arthritis. 

She's had arthritic type signs for a long time. Due to recent sudden weight loss accompanied by acute vomiting, we rushed her to the dog vet to find out why she was wasting away so suddenly. What was making her so ill? The Rimadyl, the fish oil for dogs, or Proin (phenylpropanolamine), the hormone to help control her dog incontinence? The vet did x-rays and ran a new blood test (her last one was ten months ago).

The telling x-ray

The above x-ray clearly shows that our girl's left leg is heavily afflicted by dog arthritis, as is her spine. Surprisingly, her right leg doesn't show any signs of dog arthritis! After a thorough physical, our dog vet added that the dog's probably suffering fro a blown cruciate and will most likely need surgery. 

We're waiting for the blood test results to come in before we decide how to proceed. We are also playing around with her medications, to figure out which one may be causing the excessive and violent vomiting (the fish oil for dogs is not a suspect at this point). The cruciate surgery is promising. The chances of full functionality are really good. There are rare complications (breakdown) with this type of surgery, but we are lucky because our dog vet happens to specialize in it. The cons are significant as well: with a senior dog there is always an elevated risk during sedation, the recovery is long, and the cost makes us wish we had heeded our own warnings an PSAs and gotten pet insurance!

To be continued . . . 

Twinkie

Rimadyl

What is Rimadyl

Rimadyl is the name Pfizer uses for Carprofen. It's like saying Advil instead of Ibuprofen, for humans. If you have a dog that you're told needs to be on Rimadyl, especially for a log time, skip the brand name and opt for a generic, cheaper brand. It's the same thing. Carprofen is a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug mainly used to treat dog arthritis symptoms and flare ups along with hip dysplasia in a senior dog as a long term solution. Short term use is mainly prescribed post-op to relieve temporary inflammation.

In the United States, Rimadyl (Carprofen) is available in 25, 75, and 100mg tablets, liver flavored or non. It's easier for the dog owner to use Pfizer's Rimadyl only because of the taste. Most patients will eat it as if it's a dog treat because of the taste. You need to ask your dog vet about dosage which varies according to the dog's weight.

The most effective way to administer Carprofen, in the long term, is in two doses, a morning one and an evening one.

Dangers Associated With Rimadyl

For long-term use, Rimadyl has been associated with liver and kidney problems, and even gastritis and ulcers, that's why if your dog is going to be prescribed this drug, he/she needs frequent evaluations and blood work done at your vet's office. Other side effects, include loss of appetite, vomiting, and wobbling. If your dog is just getting started on Rimadyl (Carprofen) you must keep a watchful eye and contact your vet if you notice: vomiting, diarrhea, fatigue, increase in water consumption, seizures, increase in urination, drowsiness, skin changes, and behavior  changes (energy level, aggression)

Other names for  Rinadyl/ cheaper solutions

 

If you own a small dog, and you are a responsible owner, you may want to opt for buying larger pills that you cut down to the proper size. No vet will recommend that, so you have to be careful. As for glucosamine for dogs, fish oil for dogs, and chondroitin, you should know that they are not alternatives. These are supplements. They do help boosts your dog's system, but they are not drugs therefore they only compliment the use of Carprofen, they don't replace it. You can always opt to purchase a senior dog food that has those supplements in its formula.
If you are going to be using the drug long-term, there are other names, including the generic Carprofen, you should look up. They do the same job and cost a lot less. Other names include: Novox, Vetprofen, and Care-O-Pet that are available in caplets or chewable. The savings are significant. Another way to save money is not to buy it from your vet. There are companies (such as 1800petmeds.com) that offer great deals over the Internet. Do your research.

When shopping around, I recommend you look up Carprofen, a term few dog owners know.

M--

Dalmatian Senior Dog Celebrates Birthday

I was really moved yesterday to find out that it was our beloved Olivia's birthday. Olivia is a brown dalmatian. You may remember her from her entry in the "Show Us Your Tongue" Pet Photo Contest.

Olivia

Olivia is always smiling. She's one of the happiest dogs I have ever met, and there is good reason for it. She has a great life. I have often mentioned her owner, the dog obedience trainer Cyndy Wood, who also does public appearances sharing precious information for all dog lovers. She recently did a seminar on "How To Be A Better Senior Dog Parent," which I attended, since we too own a senior dalmatian mix. 

Olivia turned 14 years old yesterday!!! Quite an achievement for her breed, but what's even more impressive is this brown dalmatian's health. Olivia can't see well, something rather common for any dog her age. Cyndy has and still is taking measures inside her home to make it easier for Olivia to adopt to her reduced vision. Olivia is also a little stiff in the joints, also common, but overall, she's in superb health. There is no question in my mind, that this dalmatian is still enjoying every minute of her life. 

Cyndy has always kept her dalmatians on a great  diet. Her rule of thumb is: checking out the first five ingredients in the dog food and it it's fit for a human to eat, then buy it. Sometimes the "simple rules" are the ones that make the most sense and are easier to follow. Olivia's current health is a testament to that. Cyndy also put her girl on a good dog joint supplement with glucosamine and chondroitin. She's the one who stressed the importance of glucosamine for dogs and recommended the dog supplements that we use on our eleven year old dalmatian mix, and I'm grateful for that too. The positive effects on our dog were visible within days. 

Sure, Olivia does suffer some from dog arthritis, but what dog wouldn't at that age? Overall, this senior dog is healthier than most dogs are at age ten. She is friendly, happy, social and full of energy. Her only problem is that on her birthday "somebody" had the great idea to give her a grooming session. I think she would have preferred extra dog treats or her favorite peanut butter, and I'll be sure to remind Cyndy next year on Olivia's birthday.

The birthday girl

Happy birthday Olivia, 

Twinkie and family

Chihuahua Pictures | Junior's Back

Junior's back with his Rhodesian ridgeback siblings. Many of you asked if we're keeping him. That was the plan, but the Rhodesian ridgeback duo would have none of that. They are convinced that he'll grow up to be a rhodie someday.
In any case, as we're trying to put our home back in order, Junior's pictures will do. M only got a few hundred of them.

Today's edition of chihuahua pictures

Junior enjoying small dog treats

Junior getting ready for his trip to Hawaii

Junior hiding from me, the teacup chihuahua, behind the spotted dog

(like the plumbers, yesterday)

 What's this?

A brave chiweenie???

Junior passing my sniff test

I have a good idea of who is Junior's favorite from my pack.

It's the senior dog. Quick update: my older sissy is now on Rimadyl and she's comfortable

.

Awww, it's The Hand, another hand, not to be confused with the hand-shaped dog leash designed by Alice Wang!

I hope all of today's puppy cuteness didn't deter you from voting (tab up top: Furry Tails) in our latest pet photo contest (4 days left). I wonder who's going to win the pawesome prizes from Clean+Green by SeaYu!

Gotta mop!

Twinkie

How To Be A Better Senior Dog Parent

I recently attended a gratifying seminar called "How To Be A Better Pet Parent" at a local library. There were many fabulous speakers, including the VP of the volunteers of the Burbank Animal Shelter (VBAS) who addressed the issue of "the joys of adopting a senior pet". One of the speakers that stood out, was Obedience Trainer Cyndy Wood (sitstaygooddawg.com) who got on stage with a beautiful brown spotted girl, her dalmatian Olivia. Olivia had a huge smile on her face and seemed happy to be in the center of everyone's attention. The audience  gasped when Cyndy announced that Olivia was fourteen years old. She looked and acted so much younger!

Cyndy proceeded to share her input and advice for senior dog owners. She started out discussing the importance of food quality for an aging canine. I found her method for picking out dog food rather significant because it is so simple and comprehensible. She recommends checking out the first five ingredients in the dog food. Would you, the parent/owner eat it? If yes, it's suitable for your dog.

Whether it is part of the dog food formula or an additional food supplement, aging dogs benefit from chondroitin and glucosamine for dogs in the form of supplements. Supplements can cause a significant and visible inprovement in dog arthritis.

Cyndy Wood also recommends that as soon as your dog is considered a senior to go in for a wellness exam and to do a blood test as a baseline.

Another important point about senior dogs was exercise. I cannot stress this enough. Exercise helps in keeping your senior pet mentally alert, get rid of sluggishness . . . it helps his heart, lugns, circulaton, digestion, joints, and even fights obesity. Of course, the exercise regime has to be adopted to your dog's specific needs. The play sessions need to be shorter, fetching must be done in shorter distances, and above all watch your dog carefuly. At any signs of discomfort  just stop. And if your dog coughs  or shows any other sign of distress, call your vet. One of the best exercises for a senior dog is swimming, but keep in mind that they have become more sensitive to temperatures, so keep a towel close by.

For less mobile dogs, or for when the weather is bad, Cyndy offered a fun suggestion: Hide and seek. Put your dog in a sit/stay position and hide. Release by using a command like "okay" and let your dog find you. A fun and not demanding activity that helps provide moderate exercise and nurtures bonding.

Senior dogs can present a few potential problems, such as:
1. Separation Anxiety
2. Vocalize more
3. Uncharacteristic Aggression
4. Startle due to hearing loss (stomp feet when approaching, ideally from the front)
5. Change in personality (often due to reaction to drugs)
6. Dog Dementia (as of last year the FDA has officially approved Anipryl tablets to control the clinical signs associated with canine cognitive Dysfunction Syndrome--CDS)

As a dog trainer, Cyndy Wood placed a lot of emphasis on training your senior dog. Since the seminar was partially geared to the ADOPTION OF SENIOR DOGS and pets in general, she focused on that.

Dog training equals bonding and getting on the same page.  You can teach an old dog new tricks, better yet, many senior dogs are already trained, therefore their training also doubles as a refresher course.

While owning a senior dog means a close relationship with your vet, truth be told, there are plenty of tools, medications, and supplements readily available to  allow you to work around your dog's health issues. And what could be more gratifying than saving a dog's life that most people would pass on?

The rest of the seminar focused on dog allergies (causes and treaments), back to school solutions, snake bites, dog and valuable dog flea medication and treatment information. I will be sharing those in future posts.

Senior pets rule. Please consider the above information when you're ready for your next pet adoption.

Dog Beds

Living with a tiny teacup chihuahua, a chiweenie, and a dalmatian mix, being involved with pets, rescues, pet blogs and bloggers, and having many dog owner friends, I've been constantly trying to figure out the ideal dog bed. When I get stumped like that, I do, what I call, a human-comparison. What's the ideal human bed? Exactly! It all depends who it is for. It depends on the individual's size, shape, health issues, partner... That explains why I'm having such a tough time with my quest.
Even more so than humans, dogs vary in size and needs. Let's take my senior dog, the dalmatian mix (60lbs) as an example. She needs something for her joints because she's suffering from dog arthritis. Aha, then she needs an orthopedic dog bed! More specifically, she needs an orthopedic dog bed for large dogs. But that's not all. This particular dog also suffers from incontinence. So, for a while now, I've been using a bed mattress waterproof protector under her bed's cover. Lucky for me, for a senior dog suffering from arthritis and incontinence, they now make large orthopedic memory foam beds that are also waterproof, such as these ones:














Cesar Milan has come out with an orthopedic dog bed with a non skid bottom, but that one is not a waterproof dog bed, so it would need an extra liner. Even though it's cheaper than the ones above, I'd rather buy those because a. They don't need any alterations and B. they are really well manufactured. 















On to the small dogs in the family, a teacup chihuahua and a chiweenie, a dachshund/chihuahua mix.

The priorities with smaller breeds are usually temperature. Small dogs, like chihuahuas, don't just need any small dog bed, they love heated dog beds. They also love to burrow. At the moment, my scrawny four-pound girl mainly enjoys sleeping in a supple blanket on top of a heating pad. That's not entirely safe though. The other day, while cleaning, her heating pad exploded in my hands. If it hadn't happened that way, maybe we wouldn't have a home today, or worse. One can find many heated dog beds to chose from. A while back I ordered one to try. A few months later I got the following email:

Greetings from [Seller].

We have recently learned that Radio Systems Corporation, in cooperation with the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), is voluntarily recalling Power Adapters for heated pet beds. Our records indicate that you have purchased one of the products listed in this recall through our website.

This recall involves the Class 2 Transformers that were sold with PetSafe Heated Wellness Sleepers. The power adapters are identified by the markings "PLUG IN CLASS 2 TRANSFORMER," "MODEL NO: K12-800" and have a spring coil covering the length of the electrical wire that goes from the sleeper. Power adapters without spring coils are not affected by this recall.

These products were sold nationwide from September 2006 through April 2010 for between $70 and $110. When the metal connector is removed from the bed, it can cause arcing between the coil spring and the connector, posing a fire and burn hazard to consumers.

Consumers should immediately stop using the recalled power adapter and contact the firm to receive a free replacement adapter at (800) 732-2677 between 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. ET Monday through Friday and Saturday between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. or visit the firm's website at www.petsafe.net.

You may also find additional details about the recall in the CPSC bulletin at: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml10/10283.html.

If you purchased this item as a gift for someone, please notify the recipient immediately and provide them with the information in the CPSC bulletin concerning these safety issues.

We regret the inconvenience this recall has caused you but trust you will understand that the safety of our customers is our highest priority.

Thanks for shopping at [seller].

Sincerely,

Customer Service
Blah Blah

Great! They regret the inconvenience. I wonder how much they would regret a house fire! In any case, overall, a heating pad is not a good idea. I question my decision every day, especially when there are safer products around. Have a look at a couple of potential choices for heated dog beds:


 












In my experience, none of those beds gets warm enough for my tiny dogs. That's why I'm still using the dangerous heating pads. If your dog does not get as horribly cold as mine, I suggest you take your pick from the ones above and sleep peacefully at night.

I believe that's about it, as far as the indoors is concerned, but there's also the outdoors to consider. Outdoor dog beds have their issues as well. Some are not sturdy, some are dangerous, most don't last long enough to justify their price.

I bought a Petmate Durabed. A few weeks later, due to poor structural choices on the manufacturer's part, the legs started to fall off. Many people had the same problem. Some tossed their Petmate dog bed quietly, others contacted the manufacturer who helped out by shipping parts. In my case, I opted for bungee cords. I must say, while it does not look good with the bungee cord around it, it does it's job. I buy a soft pad and all my dogs sit on it to enjoy the sunshine. Below you can see photos of the Petmate Durabed in various sizes:














Before I realized that the bungee fix would last as long as it has, I did some research and according to my findings, the best outdoor bed is the Coolaroo dog bed.  Check it out:














The Coolaroo dog bed is simple enough to make it mainenance free and easy to clean. They also sell replacement covers. It also comes in Extra Large!















My next outdoor dog bed purchase will definitely be a Coolaroo.

I hope my insight, in combination with your experiences helps with your quest for the ideal bed for your dog. Trial and error are fun but costly, plus as I mentioned, they can sometimes be dangerous.

Best of luck!

Dear Twinkie | A Dog Advice Column

Dear Twinkie is a weekly advice column posted every Tuesday. Do you have questions that you need answered or news that you want to spread? Then leave me, Twinkie Van Twinkerson, a note on Tuesday's comments and I'll address it. This blog and column are strictly rated G and only meant for your enjoyment.

Tank asks...
Twink, you are a genius! Why didn't I think of the squirrels?? 

You know, usually I'm game for anything gross that I can find, but that kitty litter cake made me a bit queasy. Ack.

TVT: Ladies and Tramps, this question was asked by the world's most determined squirrel exterminator who demands we celebrate his birthday for the next few months (until December 31st). He's registered with The Squirrel Control Center.
Dear Tank, did you really think I believed your last comment/question for a minute??? You made it up, but you should know that there are many furiends out there who really need my help and you're taking up my time with frivolous questions. Tsk tsk. I think I already know what I'm getting you for your birthday: 

Your very own kitty litter cake, no re-gifting please.

Sam and Pippen ask...
Twinkie!

Great advice as always! We would like to know why you would make a fake kitty litter cake if, like us, you already have a kitty that makes the real thing? And on a regular basis, too!

Oh and why does our mom get so mad at us when we steal some of it? AND refuses our kisses afterwards?


Sam and Pippen

TVT: It's really simple, my furiends. I like to have my cake and eat it too (a human expression). What makes you think I can't have both? As a matter of fact, no matter how much M has sweated and brainstormed about strategic positions and elaborate constructions to keep me and my pack out of the real litter boxes, she's failed miserably. I suppose your human is just as annal and uptight as our M. She has the same exact reaction. All you need to do, in such situations, is be patient. Wait for mom to sit down or lie down, and as soon as she's not looking go plant a slobbery one smack on her face. She'll get used to it eventually, won't she now?

Sam and Pippen are notorious for their craftiness.

mayziegal asks...
Brudder Ranger thinks that cake looks DEE-lish! He tells me sometimes about the times he's been able to sneak down and gets a snack outta the kitteh litter box. But that was in the old days before me. So I've never gotten to try any. Do you think that cake would taste the same? Of course, it's chocolate and it might kill me. Maybe I oughta play it safe and just see if I can sneak down to the litter box. What do you think?


Wiggles & Wags,
mayzie

TVT: Oh, the good ol' days . . . I'm sorry you don't have direct and immediate access to the cat litter box. Taking your limitations under consideration, I did a rather thorough research and came up with a solution that should please you, without getting you into any trouble. No need to sneak anywhere. I found an alternative to the infamous chocolate that could potentially send us all prematurely to the rainbow bridge.

Sorry about the shape. It definitely looks like those should go on a dog litter cake, but like I said, they're at least safe.

houndstooth asks...
BOL! You totally grossed Mom out with that cake! She says she's seen it before, but it never looks appealing! We wracked our brains last week, but couldn't come up with any questions, but now I have a few for this week.

First, have you by chance heard anything about Lilac's whereabouts? We haven't seen her or her fan since the wedding. We're a little concerned about Alien's safety...

Second, I am going to be going on a trip to the beach with Mom in October for a long weekend. What should I pack? I've never been to the beach, but there will be TONS of other Greyhounds there and I want to look my best and be well-prepared.


Bunny

TVT: I never expected you to prank me, Bunny. Are you serious? With her birthday coming up and she's still MIA? I don't think so. All senior dogs get showered with presents on their birthdays and Ms Lilac is too wise to take off with some deadbeat fan. Trust me, alien is safe, for now.

See? She and her fan were watching TV in the living room the entire time. They could use a little parental supervision however.

On to you next question about what you should pack. I would advise you to leave your short shorts and halter tops at home. Be practical. Pack your toothbrush, denture cleanser,  deodorant, romance novel, my book, blow dryer, curlers, at least two bikinis, flip flops, sunglasses, your computer so you can keep blogging (no excuses), beach umbrella, homemade dog treats, and don't forget to pack your beloved germanhound.

(I just hope Bunny doesn't notice . . .)

The Thundering Herd ask...
The summer people have started packing up and leaving, so we decided that must mean it is winter. But the hu-dad says no, we have a ways to go yet. So how do we get it to snow NOW so it will be winter?

TVT: Oh, my dear dear Sibe furiends. I do not feel you. However, I'm at your service therefore I have come up with a multitude of alternatives. You can go the snow globe route. You can also order your own snow! Yes, for an amazing price of $1,000 per hour, you can have rent your own Snow System! I also found a website for snow lovers and sibes alike: www.snowsource.com. From that site, you can order Instant Snow, a product that is sibe-safe and environmentally friendly. Indoors, it won't melt or blow away and can last for months! Your parents will simply love it.

The snow globe is the most economical choice.

Cocorue asks...
YOuuuuuuuuu take the cake for the yuuuuuuuuukieeeeeeessst we've seen!!! 
That's a cake for hoomans and dawgs that don't like meeeee ( get that???? ....hoomans and dawgs that DON'T like meeeeeee; THEY don't like me, Not the other way around!)

YOU ARE Genius Number 1!!!!!!


Q: IF my poodle sista is no 2 on the dog intelligence scale, WHY oh WHY is she soooooooo stoooopid??? and i'm placed at 67 and i KNOW that we Chihuahuas are cleverer
I KNOW you Have the clout to change that official study!
awaiting your wise advice
coco

TVT: Oh, I'm so glad you didn't internalize your concerns. Let me explain. You're reading the scale backwards. You see, real dog intelligence lies on . . . acting vs being stooopid. Chihuahuas have been trying for centuries to reach the absolute bottom of the list. When we do, then we can rest. My personal goal is 79. Once I achieve that, nobody will have any expectations from me. Don't you just love it? That, my dear furiend is "true genius"! Poor poodles are too stoopid to figure this simple thing out.

Oh, and don't worry that Tiffy might read this. She won't get it.

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz asks…
Oy. Um. I don't think anyone here is interested in the kitty litter cake... Although Mom might ask you for that recipe come next March when Dad's birthday rolls around. She seems to think stuff like that is funny. Dad will probably be horrified. Hmm... Maybe Mom should make it when Dad's mother comes to visit.... Okay. So, Ms. TVT. Question for you: why does my Mutant Puppy sister feel the need to bark at the handyman, who has been at the house EVERY SINGLE DAY for the last like, 500 years. It's not like the rest of us don't know he's there... Thanks!
*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Mutant Puppy

TVT: Have you done a background check on the said handyman? Another thought is that Abby's inexplicable barking is due to her alien abduction. Last, but by no means least, are you sure she's barking at the handy man? I mean, being your sister can't be easy, Puddin' head!

Tsk tsp, those were most shocking accusations

Lola aks...
Oh, we laughed and laughed at this column and then forgot to comment. I think it's because Blog Mom got all sickies after looking at the picture of the litter box cake. Very clever, but not appealing to some squeamish humans, I guess.

You know, if you think that Franklin is funny looking with that hat on, you should get a good close up look at him with it off. Let's just say that when it comes to male Peis he's no Hero or Bolo. But he does have a certain charm I guess, once you get past the eyes which make him look either demonic or wasted - or like a wasted demon doggie. I'll take your advice and not tell him he's neutered. Let him figure it out when he's ready to accept it, right?
lotsa licks, Lola

TVT: Well, duh!

I feel that I shouldn't take up any more of your time

since you're so "behind"

the booker man asks...
pee s -- how do i politely let my girlfriend miss mayzie know that she really shouldn't eat out of her kitties' actual litter box? that's, ummmm, kinda ewww.

TVT: Not to worry, Mr. Booker Man, not as long as Dear Twinkie's got your back. I took care of your little issue already. No need for love spats, although I'm qualified to give out love advice too. Be sure to let me know if there's anything else I can do for you, 'cause Dog only knows, I haven't paid much attention to you recently!

And to satisfy her appetite, you should prolly share some of your island of Wisconsin Cheese Turds with her.

Frankie the brindle chiweenie asks: Do you love to laugh? Do you love cute newborn puppies??? DO you like PUPSICKLES (the product of breeding using frozen semen)???

TVT: Wow, my chiweenie's so smart! She wants me to mention Lucas' blog and I agree. I think the chiweenie said it well. LUCAS LEGEND DALMATIANS is a must for dalmatian lovers.

This is a sample.
Not to be confused with my sissy, the senior spotted dog.

I kept today's column short due to yesterday's cat-astophic injuries. Now, go take on the day!
Twinkie