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Sunday, September 5, 2010

Over The Rainbow Bridge | For Our Rosie

Most of us have suffered the loss of a beloved pet. Pet loss is quite different from losing one's humans. People tend to show lots of support and sympathy over the loss of a loved one, but what happens when your beloved is a pet, a dog, a cat, a ... goldfish? Lots of people don't get it. They don't get what cherished pets mean to their owner. Most folks don't even understand that there are some of us out there who have opted for a fur ball instead of a human child, whether out of necessity or by choice. Pet loss is tragic to the animal lover, and that's why I feel the need to address it. In our animal blog-dom, sympathy abounds. We're all in this together, but the rest of the world, thinks differently.

I remember many excruciating losses, but one of them stands out. Rosie was the first dog I lost to a tragic accident. I got a call around 11 o'clock one evening by a sweet woman who was telling me my dog was dead. After arguing with her that my dog was just fine and I had just let her out into our back yard just 5 minutes earlier, I took a deep breath, and, with the woman still on the phone, I went to my yard to call my Rosie's name. Rosie was a chocolate lab and she was only four. She didn't respond to my calls. The lady was right. Instead of finding my dog, I found out that our block wall had collapsed quietly after a heavy downpour. Rosie was lying dead by the entrance of the freeway near my home. By the time my son and I got to Rosie, we found a circus. Police cars blocking the freeway entrance, people covering their faces; they were all there to watch. My son and I carried her to the car and then . . . we didn't know what to do. We called the Emergency Animal Hospital who told us to bring her in and they'd take care of the rest.

At the hospital we were treated with love and respect. We were all animal lovers. They took our Rosie and asked if we'd like her cremated. We did. We went home devastated and feeling empty. My birthday was dawning. I still hate my birthday since that awful day seven years ago.

The "party" started the next day. The phone rang first thing in the morning. It was our regular vet offering his condolences and telling me something about a rainbow bridge. I'm European. I thought he may be on acid. Why, oh why would anybody be talking to me about rainbows and bridges at a time like this? I wanted to tell him he was fired and that I'd find a different vet, but I couldn't. I thanked him and hung up.

A couple of days later, I received a card from the Emergency Hospital. It was a picture of a bridge with a rainbow. Damn it! What was wrong with everyone in this country? I looked at the back of the card and read the, in my opinion, infamous Rainbow Bridge Poem:

By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.
For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.
No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.
They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.
For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.
The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.

The rainbow bridge poem hasn't been around that long. It was written sometime around the year 1980. It's meant for humans to deal with their grief mourning the loss of a beloved pet that has died. It's about a utopian place animals go to after death. It is Pet Heaven. 
Our family was suffering as random Rainbow Bridge cards kept coming in. None of us felt better. Finally, Rosie's ashes arrived. They were in a plastic container that was placed inside a tacky purple pouch wrapped in a tacky golden cord. Our 80lb dog fit inside a tiny pouch. The purple pouch was embroidered and it read, "Until we meet again at the rainbow bridge." Dang it! But now I realized that my anger shouldn't be aimed at the nice people who sent me the only thing they could think of, a promise that my Rosie was not suffering. I was angry over the actual event, Rosie's death. I started to calm down and not cringe so much when a well-wisher mentioned the Rainbow Bridge.



Ever since I've joined the animal blogging community, I have seen clearly that there is a purpose to the rainbow bridge. It is soothing. It makes sense. The rainbow bridge poem talks about joy and a reunion. I want my pets to go there. I want to meet them again. I have learned to take consolation at the thought that all the wonderful animals that have touched my life will all end up in this pet heaven. 

Once I had come to terms with the idea of the rainbow bridge, a good friend of mine, one of the bloggers we interact with, a lampworker, started her own line of memorial beads for pet owners.  Holly Dare, a dog lover, rescuer, advocate herself, having suffered her own pet losses wanted to be able to keep her beloved departed fur babies close to her. She put her creativity to work and came up with beautiful memorial beads using cremains. This is the link to Holly Dare's Memorial Beads. There are many lampworkers who create glass beads out of cremains, but she's my number one choice because she's my friend, I love her work, and I know that she cares. 

I haven't yet had the courage to ask for a Rosie Bead. No matter how many pets have been in my life since that awful day, Rosie still occupies a large chunk of my heart. Having a memorial bead I can actually touch might make me miss her less, I'm just hoping. 

Animal lovers and bloggers, we have each other. We can at least comfort one another, because sometimes non animal lovers simply don't get it!

M--

Saturday, September 4, 2010

The Dog Spa And The Chiweenie

For the chiweenie furiends who where wondering where she was yesterday, I need to clarify. She was right there at the dog spa, with me. She had a different experience though. Let me demonstrate.

At first, the brindle chiweenie came to check on me.

She was rather concerned because I looked a bit like
a good candidate for the last train to the rainbow bridge.

Once the chiweenie made sure that I was sticking around . . .

She guarded her tiny teacup chihuahua sissy.

On one paw, I feel bad that the chiweenie didn't get to join in my dog spa treatment. On the other, I'm rather touched by her devotion.



This Saturday I'm finally going to participate on the world famous BLOG HOP!



Can't wait to check out more fun pet blogs!



Twinkie

Friday, September 3, 2010

Dog Spa Days

As a blog star, book protagonist, and model, I, Twinkie, the teacup chihuahua, need to look good at all times. No fast trips to the grocery store or Home Depot looking like I just got out of bed. I need to be presentable around the clock. That's where the dog spa comes in. I have to maintain my furs. The good thing about the dog spa is that it's nothing like grooming. I know many of my furiends do not like going to the dog groomer, and I'm here to offer a great alternative. Please put your parents to bed before reading the rest of this.

The Dog Spa Twinkie Style

First, you have to find a wet dirty spot.

Collapse to one side.

Turn to the other side.
Make sure not to miss your head.

Repeat the original side to make sure all the mud and dirt saturate your bodacious bod.

You're starting to get the idea.

Remember to take small breaks to breathe out of your mouth.

Back to enjoying the dog spa.

Et voilĂ ! Dog spa treatment est fini!

From rescue dog being kicked around the streets of downtown Los Angeles to having my personal dog spa! Unreal! Life is beautiful . . .
Dog training tip: Next time your parents offer to take you to the dog groomer, suggest this alternative. They may bulk at first, but that's when you bring up the price comparison. Nothing beats a dog spa day!

Twinkie

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Chihuahua 2011 Wall Calendar | Labor Day Sale

I finally published this year's dog calendar. It's a collection of some of my favorite pictures. It's listed among my other funny and hopefully fun products on my Zazzle store. Before I give you a sneak peek, I would like you to know about Zazzle's Labor Day Weekend Sale. You can get up to 60% off by using the code: LABORDAYSALE. There are millions of items and calendars to chose from on Zazzle, even if you don't want an adorable teacup chihuahua hanging on your wall, you may still want to take advantage of this sale.

Drum-roll please!
Ms August

VoilĂ  my direct 2011 Calendar link: Twinkie's 2011 Academic Calendar. I will have a regular 2011 wall calendar ready in the next few days. 

Twinkie

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

Two-Headed Beast



Twinkie

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dear Twinkie | A Dog Advice Column

Dear Twinkie is a weekly advice column posted every Tuesday. Do you have questions that you need answered or news that you want to spread? Then leave me, Twinkie Van Twinkerson, a note on Tuesday's comments and I'll address it. This blog and column are strictly rated G and only meant for your enjoyment.

Tank asks...
Twink, you are a genius! Why didn't I think of the squirrels?? 

You know, usually I'm game for anything gross that I can find, but that kitty litter cake made me a bit queasy. Ack.

TVT: Ladies and Tramps, this question was asked by the world's most determined squirrel exterminator who demands we celebrate his birthday for the next few months (until December 31st). He's registered with The Squirrel Control Center.
Dear Tank, did you really think I believed your last comment/question for a minute??? You made it up, but you should know that there are many furiends out there who really need my help and you're taking up my time with frivolous questions. Tsk tsk. I think I already know what I'm getting you for your birthday: 

Your very own kitty litter cake, no re-gifting please.

Sam and Pippen ask...
Twinkie!

Great advice as always! We would like to know why you would make a fake kitty litter cake if, like us, you already have a kitty that makes the real thing? And on a regular basis, too!

Oh and why does our mom get so mad at us when we steal some of it? AND refuses our kisses afterwards?


Sam and Pippen

TVT: It's really simple, my furiends. I like to have my cake and eat it too (a human expression). What makes you think I can't have both? As a matter of fact, no matter how much M has sweated and brainstormed about strategic positions and elaborate constructions to keep me and my pack out of the real litter boxes, she's failed miserably. I suppose your human is just as annal and uptight as our M. She has the same exact reaction. All you need to do, in such situations, is be patient. Wait for mom to sit down or lie down, and as soon as she's not looking go plant a slobbery one smack on her face. She'll get used to it eventually, won't she now?
Sam and Pippen are notorious for their craftiness.

mayziegal asks...
Brudder Ranger thinks that cake looks DEE-lish! He tells me sometimes about the times he's been able to sneak down and gets a snack outta the kitteh litter box. But that was in the old days before me. So I've never gotten to try any. Do you think that cake would taste the same? Of course, it's chocolate and it might kill me. Maybe I oughta play it safe and just see if I can sneak down to the litter box. What do you think?


Wiggles & Wags,
mayzie

TVT: Oh, the good ol' days . . . I'm sorry you don't have direct and immediate access to the cat litter box. Taking your limitations under consideration, I did a rather thorough research and came up with a solution that should please you, without getting you into any trouble. No need to sneak anywhere. I found an alternative to the infamous chocolate that could potentially send us all prematurely to the rainbow bridge.
Sorry about the shape. It definitely looks like those should go on a dog litter cake, but like I said, they're at least safe.

houndstooth asks...
BOL! You totally grossed Mom out with that cake! She says she's seen it before, but it never looks appealing! We wracked our brains last week, but couldn't come up with any questions, but now I have a few for this week.

First, have you by chance heard anything about Lilac's whereabouts? We haven't seen her or her fan since the wedding. We're a little concerned about Alien's safety...

Second, I am going to be going on a trip to the beach with Mom in October for a long weekend. What should I pack? I've never been to the beach, but there will be TONS of other Greyhounds there and I want to look my best and be well-prepared.


Bunny

TVT: I never expected you to prank me, Bunny. Are you serious? With her birthday coming up and she's still MIA? I don't think so. All senior dogs get showered with presents on their birthdays and Ms Lilac is too wise to take off with some deadbeat fan. Trust me, alien is safe, for now.
See? She and her fan were watching TV in the living room the entire time. They could use a little parental supervision however.

On to you next question about what you should pack. I would advise you to leave your short shorts and halter tops at home. Be practical. Pack your toothbrush, denture cleanser,  deodorant, romance novel, my book, blow dryer, curlers, at least two bikinis, flip flops, sunglasses, your computer so you can keep blogging (no excuses), beach umbrella, homemade dog treats, and don't forget to pack your beloved germanhound.
(I just hope Bunny doesn't notice . . .)


The Thundering Herd ask...
The summer people have started packing up and leaving, so we decided that must mean it is winter. But the hu-dad says no, we have a ways to go yet. So how do we get it to snow NOW so it will be winter?

TVT: Oh, my dear dear Sibe furiends. I do not feel you. However, I'm at your service therefore I have come up with a multitude of alternatives. You can go the snow globe route. You can also order your own snow! Yes, for an amazing price of $1,000 per hour, you can have rent your own Snow System! I also found a website for snow lovers and sibes alike: www.snowsource.com. From that site, you can order Instant Snow, a product that is sibe-safe and environmentally friendly. Indoors, it won't melt or blow away and can last for months! Your parents will simply love it.
The snow globe is the most economical choice.
Cocorue asks...
YOuuuuuuuuu take the cake for the yuuuuuuuuukieeeeeeessst we've seen!!! 
That's a cake for hoomans and dawgs that don't like meeeee ( get that???? ....hoomans and dawgs that DON'T like meeeeeee; THEY don't like me, Not the other way around!)

YOU ARE Genius Number 1!!!!!!


Q: IF my poodle sista is no 2 on the dog intelligence scale, WHY oh WHY is she soooooooo stoooopid??? and i'm placed at 67 and i KNOW that we Chihuahuas are cleverer
I KNOW you Have the clout to change that official study!
awaiting your wise advice
coco

TVT: Oh, I'm so glad you didn't internalize your concerns. Let me explain. You're reading the scale backwards. You see, real dog intelligence lies on . . . acting vs being stooopid. Chihuahuas have been trying for centuries to reach the absolute bottom of the list. When we do, then we can rest. My personal goal is 79. Once I achieve that, nobody will have any expectations from me. Don't you just love it? That, my dear furiend is "true genius"! Poor poodles are too stoopid to figure this simple thing out.
Oh, and don't worry that Tiffy might read this. She won't get it.


Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz asks…
Oy. Um. I don't think anyone here is interested in the kitty litter cake... Although Mom might ask you for that recipe come next March when Dad's birthday rolls around. She seems to think stuff like that is funny. Dad will probably be horrified. Hmm... Maybe Mom should make it when Dad's mother comes to visit.... Okay. So, Ms. TVT. Question for you: why does my Mutant Puppy sister feel the need to bark at the handyman, who has been at the house EVERY SINGLE DAY for the last like, 500 years. It's not like the rest of us don't know he's there... Thanks!
*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Mutant Puppy

TVT: Have you done a background check on the said handyman? Another thought is that Abby's inexplicable barking is due to her alien abduction. Last, but by no means least, are you sure she's barking at the handy man? I mean, being your sister can't be easy, Puddin' head!
Tsk tsp, those were most shocking accusations
Lola aks...
Oh, we laughed and laughed at this column and then forgot to comment. I think it's because Blog Mom got all sickies after looking at the picture of the litter box cake. Very clever, but not appealing to some squeamish humans, I guess.

You know, if you think that Franklin is funny looking with that hat on, you should get a good close up look at him with it off. Let's just say that when it comes to male Peis he's no Hero or Bolo. But he does have a certain charm I guess, once you get past the eyes which make him look either demonic or wasted - or like a wasted demon doggie. I'll take your advice and not tell him he's neutered. Let him figure it out when he's ready to accept it, right?
lotsa licks, Lola

TVT: Well, duh!
I feel that I shouldn't take up any more of your time
since you're so "behind"



the booker man asks...
pee s -- how do i politely let my girlfriend miss mayzie know that she really shouldn't eat out of her kitties' actual litter box? that's, ummmm, kinda ewww.

TVT: Not to worry, Mr. Booker Man, not as long as Dear Twinkie's got your back. I took care of your little issue already. No need for love spats, although I'm qualified to give out love advice too. Be sure to let me know if there's anything else I can do for you, 'cause Dog only knows, I haven't paid much attention to you recently!
And to satisfy her appetite, you should prolly share some of your island of Wisconsin Cheese Turds with her.

Frankie the brindle chiweenie asks: Do you love to laugh? Do you love cute newborn puppies??? DO you like PUPSICKLES (the product of breeding using frozen semen)???


TVT: Wow, my chiweenie's so smart! She wants me to mention Lucas' blog and I agree. I think the chiweenie said it well. LUCAS LEGEND DALMATIANS is a must for dalmatian lovers.
This is a sample.
Not to be confused with my sissy, the senior spotted dog.


I kept today's column short due to yesterday's cat-astophic injuries. Now, go take on the day!
Twinkie

Monday, August 30, 2010

Is There A Dog Vet In The House?

Evil, possessed, mean,
life threatening, scary, leaping,
overprotective, 
feral Farrah the nursing cat mom...
got my ear today! 
 (I've booby-trapped her litter box)
That darn cat! She attacked me! How dare she?


No teacup chihuahua should ever be exposed to such violence. To make matters worse, those folks who make the Ace bandages do not make any for small dogs. Oh, and M is not fit for a nurse; she should keep her day job.

I have a scratch on my right ear.

It stings!


*This edition of "My life is a cat-astrophe" was brought to you by Twinkie Van Gogh.*
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